Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
- Messages
- 10,294
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Greetings fellow ticklephiles! This installment of TQWD is a neat one, bringing us closer to the man known as "The Gatherer". Anyone who has been to a tickling gathering has probably met him or seen him running from place to place keeping order amidst the chaos. He's someone I'm proud to call a dear friend and has been an invaluable presence here for many years. Presented in his unmistakable communication style, the one and only Other White Dave...
DVNC!
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1) You are known throughout the tickling community as "The Guy Behind the Gatherings", so to speak. How did you get started with something so many find so utterly daunting?
Wanted to meet others who were into this. Had seen, on USENET years before, that others like me existed.
Wanted to MEET some. Never could figure out how.
This fellow, we'll call him Lou, got bold enough on USENET to ask folks to meet up. No one could get past that point.
I was already diagnosed with ugly predictions. Doctors don't know what they don't know. Ain't dead yet. Warranty expired a LONG time ago, though. Many of us can dig this concept. "I'm gonna die. What do I wanna do before then?"
Marry.
Raise a kid, even for a couple of years.
Meet others like me into this.
Already had done the musician thing, though to no great degree. Enough to dig the scene, though. Finished college. Successful career. Didn't figure it was fair to marry someone or subject a kid to a short-term father. Had an involvement anyway, and she didn't WANT kids.
She WAS amenable to my mad idea of hosting a get-together for a group of deviants. She was kinked in her own way. So it began.
From there are countless details. Spoke to several about these events to be, and fear was prevalent. How to work around that? BDSM community used to do screenings. Don't bother much with such since munches started (another BDSM concept I scavenged merrily). Figured out that screening was the way to go.
Figured out that even a SMALL starting was still a starting.
Went from there.
First event was great. QBWeaver donated a location, I screened and started what would become the West Coast Gatherings list, and coined that silly name. Gatherings. Play party, as a concept, spooked some, and confused others. No requirement to play, either. Just to get together. Gathering sounded good. So it began.
VERY shortly afterward the east coast got itself going. Max, needless to note, got more people to show, eventually. We focused on regular events. Monthly for a long time. Was great.
That's how it started. A lotta reading (Bondage 101 is a good primer), a lotta screening, meetings, lunches, mails, IMs, etc.
2) What would you say is the most strategically difficult thing about arranging a tickling gathering?
Focusing on the guests' safety. Not just the "don't let the women get pawed by dullards" deal, but the actually safety of bondage play. Position difficulties, restraints being tight enough to hold but not cutting off circulation, etc.
Y'see, some folks freak in bondage and don't know they will 'til they do.
Some folks won't tell ya in advance that once they play they become TOTALLY dysfunctional for an hour or so afterward.
Some lose all inhibition after a little play, and disrobe. No word of a lie. Was quite surprising.
Some disappear into back rooms to become more intimate, and spook ya 'cause you can't see 'em, and know their car's still out front.
3) If you could give a "Do" and a "Don't" to someone attending thier first tickling gathering, what would it be? And let's make this interesting...an answer for guys and another for the ladies.
Guys - the women are PEOPLE. Do NOT, under any circumstances, TOUCH them without permission. This scene's GOING to be more sensitive for newer attendees, and an experienced attendee will STILL appreciate the civility of asking if they want to play, or holding out your hand to shake hands with 'em, etc. If she doesn't SAY you can touch her, don't. Ever.
Ladies - DO Find your host, and TELL them what you want, and when possible, from whom you want this. My most successful events have women who may be timid or reserved in groups, but can be delightfully detailed. "I want to be tied, but not lying down. Sitting. And him. I want him to tickle me."
4) Considering the amount of gatherings you've attended, I'm not going to ask you for your favorite moment...but is there a particular gathering that stands out as a really good one? One that came together and worked out better than expected?
Can't easily pick any one.
Every scene, public and private, where a 'lee showed me that orgasm was possible while being tickled. Stunning and beautiful. Double bonus when it was a public scene and the room wasn't clued. Yes, there were SEVERAL gatherings where the room didn't know. A few of us knew. Intimacy all it's own.
There's HUNDREDS of events I remember, though. Given my recall, that amazes me still.
5) ...and the other side of the coin. Was there one that just didn't go well, or where something really bad/embarassing/unexpected happened? And how did you deal with it?
Violence.
No, seriously, the first scene at a gathering where a 'lee was hurt due to positioning still bothers me. Should have known better. Someone had the silly idea of tying a lady to a piano bench of ours. The position wasn't comfortable, and the scene went too long. Lady was pained by it. I felt bad, and still do.
She was so into playing that she said nothing until after. WELL after. Lady, if you read this board, I'm *still* sorry.
A gathering early in our time had a cohost, well known or infamous depending on your perspective, whose delays and theatrics, along with the inability to cope with any criticism from the attendees, was also pretty stinky. I still feel for that lady the most, though.
And moving on from the subject of gatherings and onto the subject of Dave in particular...
6) Like myself, you are from the pre-Internet generation of ticklephiles. When was it that you realized tickling was "your thing" and how were you first exposed to the idea of a "larger world", ie: you weren't "the only one"?
I never cared that I was different. Thought it was amusing. Found that women were interested in it if only for how it affected me, and exchange is a wonderful motivator. If you play with someone, and then see to it that they have more orgasms than you, you have a convert in many cases.
One lady used to visit me for a booty call every so often, KNOWING I'm kinked this way. I didn't call her. She'd just show up, knockin' on my window. Tied her to a piano the second time we played. We never played without tickling.
7) If you could be any fictional character, who would it be and why?
This is gonna sound odd, but I wouldn't wanna be anyone but me. Life I've had, I couldn't make this up.
Been shot at, hit by cars while on foot, bike, moped, driving and as a passenger. Last one as passenger had three roll-overs 'fore the car stopped (we were doin' at LEAST 55 on a California freeway). Ground out my window.
I've been to three continents, a few islands, 5 countries. Gatherings in two of those countries. Played in 4 of 'em.
Friends all over the planet.
Got a son. Step-son, technically, but I really don't care WHAT others call him.
Been married.
Had two strokes. Supposed to be dead. Never did behave.
Worked hi-tech for near 20 years. Most of that on the developer side.
Acted in Renaissance Faires for half a decade.
Ya don't find characters with lives as screwy as mine. I could stand to be taller and better lookin', but I ain't gonna sweat that anymore. Old enough now not to really care too much 'bout such.
8) You've moved from California to the frosty realm of Canada. I live close to Montreal myself (and have also lived in LA) and find Canadians in general a bit more liberal about things. Have you found any major differences in dealing with your fetish as a Canadian than you did as an American?
Like the states, Canada is different depending on where you are. Montreal and Ontario's eastern half, as well as the Vancouver area of B.C., are more accepting. The rest of Canada reminds me of the midwest. There's not much going on out here, and fewer people asking than in the northern midwest states. I'd KILL to be by one of the midwestern events. Would just roll across. No such luck.
I'm movin' back to California, brer. May take a while, but I miss that place.
9) What sort of things occupy your free time that aren't tickling-related?
Most of the last five years have been focused on my son. He's been the big goal for me. Get him to teenage. From here, he's gonna reach an age where I ain't so important, same as every other teenager reaches wit' their parents. He got there. I'm good. If I die now, I've done everything I originally set out to do. The rest of this life is icing.
Lessee... Beyond that, there's reads. Comics. Collected 'em as a kid. As an adult, I restarted due to a previous lover. I read the Vertigo titles and a few others. Read books. King, Deaver, Cornwell, McCaffrey. Hoff's The Tao of Pooh is a repeat read for me. Even read on my Palm device.
I organize social meets every week for workmates. I think it's in my wiring to do such things.
10) If you could invite any three people over for dinner and drinks, living or dead, who would they be and why?
Just three? Damn. Living - You, Qjakal and Jobelle. Met ya an age ago, likewise Jo, and Q's my evil twin. Or is he the good one? Never could get that straight.
I could happily spend my life meetin' folks from here. Visitin' the ones I know and like. Holidays for me are usually connectin' wit' others of our kind. Seen a good bit of the planet that way.
Dead - Twain, Tolkein and my father. Much I'd like to learn from each of 'em.
*******************************
I'd like to thank DVNC for taking time out of his schedule for us. Thanks a lot, brer, it was most appreciated.
Click Here for Previous TQWD Interviews!
DVNC!
*****************************************
1) You are known throughout the tickling community as "The Guy Behind the Gatherings", so to speak. How did you get started with something so many find so utterly daunting?
Wanted to meet others who were into this. Had seen, on USENET years before, that others like me existed.
Wanted to MEET some. Never could figure out how.
This fellow, we'll call him Lou, got bold enough on USENET to ask folks to meet up. No one could get past that point.
I was already diagnosed with ugly predictions. Doctors don't know what they don't know. Ain't dead yet. Warranty expired a LONG time ago, though. Many of us can dig this concept. "I'm gonna die. What do I wanna do before then?"
Marry.
Raise a kid, even for a couple of years.
Meet others like me into this.
Already had done the musician thing, though to no great degree. Enough to dig the scene, though. Finished college. Successful career. Didn't figure it was fair to marry someone or subject a kid to a short-term father. Had an involvement anyway, and she didn't WANT kids.
She WAS amenable to my mad idea of hosting a get-together for a group of deviants. She was kinked in her own way. So it began.
From there are countless details. Spoke to several about these events to be, and fear was prevalent. How to work around that? BDSM community used to do screenings. Don't bother much with such since munches started (another BDSM concept I scavenged merrily). Figured out that screening was the way to go.
Figured out that even a SMALL starting was still a starting.
Went from there.
First event was great. QBWeaver donated a location, I screened and started what would become the West Coast Gatherings list, and coined that silly name. Gatherings. Play party, as a concept, spooked some, and confused others. No requirement to play, either. Just to get together. Gathering sounded good. So it began.
VERY shortly afterward the east coast got itself going. Max, needless to note, got more people to show, eventually. We focused on regular events. Monthly for a long time. Was great.
That's how it started. A lotta reading (Bondage 101 is a good primer), a lotta screening, meetings, lunches, mails, IMs, etc.
2) What would you say is the most strategically difficult thing about arranging a tickling gathering?
Focusing on the guests' safety. Not just the "don't let the women get pawed by dullards" deal, but the actually safety of bondage play. Position difficulties, restraints being tight enough to hold but not cutting off circulation, etc.
Y'see, some folks freak in bondage and don't know they will 'til they do.
Some folks won't tell ya in advance that once they play they become TOTALLY dysfunctional for an hour or so afterward.
Some lose all inhibition after a little play, and disrobe. No word of a lie. Was quite surprising.
Some disappear into back rooms to become more intimate, and spook ya 'cause you can't see 'em, and know their car's still out front.
3) If you could give a "Do" and a "Don't" to someone attending thier first tickling gathering, what would it be? And let's make this interesting...an answer for guys and another for the ladies.
Guys - the women are PEOPLE. Do NOT, under any circumstances, TOUCH them without permission. This scene's GOING to be more sensitive for newer attendees, and an experienced attendee will STILL appreciate the civility of asking if they want to play, or holding out your hand to shake hands with 'em, etc. If she doesn't SAY you can touch her, don't. Ever.
Ladies - DO Find your host, and TELL them what you want, and when possible, from whom you want this. My most successful events have women who may be timid or reserved in groups, but can be delightfully detailed. "I want to be tied, but not lying down. Sitting. And him. I want him to tickle me."
4) Considering the amount of gatherings you've attended, I'm not going to ask you for your favorite moment...but is there a particular gathering that stands out as a really good one? One that came together and worked out better than expected?
Can't easily pick any one.
Every scene, public and private, where a 'lee showed me that orgasm was possible while being tickled. Stunning and beautiful. Double bonus when it was a public scene and the room wasn't clued. Yes, there were SEVERAL gatherings where the room didn't know. A few of us knew. Intimacy all it's own.
There's HUNDREDS of events I remember, though. Given my recall, that amazes me still.
5) ...and the other side of the coin. Was there one that just didn't go well, or where something really bad/embarassing/unexpected happened? And how did you deal with it?
Violence.
No, seriously, the first scene at a gathering where a 'lee was hurt due to positioning still bothers me. Should have known better. Someone had the silly idea of tying a lady to a piano bench of ours. The position wasn't comfortable, and the scene went too long. Lady was pained by it. I felt bad, and still do.
She was so into playing that she said nothing until after. WELL after. Lady, if you read this board, I'm *still* sorry.
A gathering early in our time had a cohost, well known or infamous depending on your perspective, whose delays and theatrics, along with the inability to cope with any criticism from the attendees, was also pretty stinky. I still feel for that lady the most, though.
And moving on from the subject of gatherings and onto the subject of Dave in particular...
6) Like myself, you are from the pre-Internet generation of ticklephiles. When was it that you realized tickling was "your thing" and how were you first exposed to the idea of a "larger world", ie: you weren't "the only one"?
I never cared that I was different. Thought it was amusing. Found that women were interested in it if only for how it affected me, and exchange is a wonderful motivator. If you play with someone, and then see to it that they have more orgasms than you, you have a convert in many cases.
One lady used to visit me for a booty call every so often, KNOWING I'm kinked this way. I didn't call her. She'd just show up, knockin' on my window. Tied her to a piano the second time we played. We never played without tickling.
7) If you could be any fictional character, who would it be and why?
This is gonna sound odd, but I wouldn't wanna be anyone but me. Life I've had, I couldn't make this up.
Been shot at, hit by cars while on foot, bike, moped, driving and as a passenger. Last one as passenger had three roll-overs 'fore the car stopped (we were doin' at LEAST 55 on a California freeway). Ground out my window.
I've been to three continents, a few islands, 5 countries. Gatherings in two of those countries. Played in 4 of 'em.
Friends all over the planet.
Got a son. Step-son, technically, but I really don't care WHAT others call him.
Been married.
Had two strokes. Supposed to be dead. Never did behave.
Worked hi-tech for near 20 years. Most of that on the developer side.
Acted in Renaissance Faires for half a decade.
Ya don't find characters with lives as screwy as mine. I could stand to be taller and better lookin', but I ain't gonna sweat that anymore. Old enough now not to really care too much 'bout such.
8) You've moved from California to the frosty realm of Canada. I live close to Montreal myself (and have also lived in LA) and find Canadians in general a bit more liberal about things. Have you found any major differences in dealing with your fetish as a Canadian than you did as an American?
Like the states, Canada is different depending on where you are. Montreal and Ontario's eastern half, as well as the Vancouver area of B.C., are more accepting. The rest of Canada reminds me of the midwest. There's not much going on out here, and fewer people asking than in the northern midwest states. I'd KILL to be by one of the midwestern events. Would just roll across. No such luck.
I'm movin' back to California, brer. May take a while, but I miss that place.
9) What sort of things occupy your free time that aren't tickling-related?
Most of the last five years have been focused on my son. He's been the big goal for me. Get him to teenage. From here, he's gonna reach an age where I ain't so important, same as every other teenager reaches wit' their parents. He got there. I'm good. If I die now, I've done everything I originally set out to do. The rest of this life is icing.
Lessee... Beyond that, there's reads. Comics. Collected 'em as a kid. As an adult, I restarted due to a previous lover. I read the Vertigo titles and a few others. Read books. King, Deaver, Cornwell, McCaffrey. Hoff's The Tao of Pooh is a repeat read for me. Even read on my Palm device.
I organize social meets every week for workmates. I think it's in my wiring to do such things.
10) If you could invite any three people over for dinner and drinks, living or dead, who would they be and why?
Just three? Damn. Living - You, Qjakal and Jobelle. Met ya an age ago, likewise Jo, and Q's my evil twin. Or is he the good one? Never could get that straight.
I could happily spend my life meetin' folks from here. Visitin' the ones I know and like. Holidays for me are usually connectin' wit' others of our kind. Seen a good bit of the planet that way.
Dead - Twain, Tolkein and my father. Much I'd like to learn from each of 'em.
*******************************
I'd like to thank DVNC for taking time out of his schedule for us. Thanks a lot, brer, it was most appreciated.
Click Here for Previous TQWD Interviews!
