There were two films I desperately wanted to see this year. One was The Hulk, and Terminator 3 was the other. I've been to fancy dress parties as The Hulk before and sometime in the future I'm gonna get a set of leathers, plaster one side of my face to look like a metal skull (complete with glowing red eye if I can find a way to work it out), get a fake Winchester 10-Bore shotgun from somewhere and start practicing my Austrian accent.
Ser-uh Con-uh?
Oozi nann milly-meet-uh.
I need your clothes...... your boots..... and your cod-piece.
You are going home in a smegging ambulance!
Etc.........
So the verdict? Well it wasn't as bad as The Hulk. Nor was it in any way, shape or form anywhere near as good as the first two films in the saga. Unlike The Hulk, those first two films would make the third a welcome addition, even if it was bad. The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day had Jim Cameron doing the directing and Brad Fidel composing the scores. Neither were involved in the 3rd installment and it shows.......
Badly!
The script sounds wooden, the continuity is unbelievably out of step and even Stan Winston's special effects seem muted and not as effective as before. Sad. But to be positive, it doesn't fall into the same trap Attack Of The Clones and Armagheddon did; too many and too obvious CGI effects.
Remember I mentioned the continuity? Well a lot of people might think I'm a train spotter for noticing things like this, but they're the sort of things that highly-paid film directors SHOULD notice. 😡
John Connor says in a VO that Skynet tried to kill him when he was 13. When the T-1000 looked at his records in the police car, it showed his date of birth as the 28th of February, 1985. This would put he events of T2 in mid-1998; supposedly 12 months after Judgement Day occured.(August 29th, 1997.) Now JD wasn't delayed until after the events of the second film, so there's one fuck-up to start with. Another is the fact that although Edward Furlong was 13 when he played the role, John Connor was only supposed to be 10. So why now does he say he was 13? Doh!
In previous screenplays and novels of the second film, Sarah Connor is mentioned to be a soldier in the resistance, fighting right up into her 50's and 60's against Skynet; before being killed leading a supply convoy. In the third installment we discover that she dies of leukemia in 1997. Doh!
Terminators have always been referred to as having a power cell in their chests, but Arnie has two in this one. He discards one of them when it's damaged by the T-X. Doh!
In the first film, Sarah was 19 and Kyle Reese was 21. But going by the date of her birth on her tomb, Sarah would've been 25 during the first film, which takes place in 1984. Doh!
The chronology of the saga is thrown totally out of kilter by these mistakes. So much so that they could only fit properly if the events of the first film were put back 6 years to 1978. Doh, doh, doh!!!
These are the perils of a Johnny-come-lately directing at a late stage in the series. The Superman films took a downward spiral after the asshole Salkind's sacked Richard Donner and replaced him with Richard Lester. 1 was 100% Donner and 2 was 70%. Both films were great. 3 was sliding downhill and 4 was utter crap. 🙁
So to the synopsis.........
It starts out with an VO from John explaining how he's been living "off the grid". No phone, no permenant address, no registered job. Working for cash in hand and sleeping rough. Living a bit like he and Sarah did in the fist decade or so of his life in fact.
The T-X (sort of a cross between the T-101's durability, stability and programming with some of the abilities of the T-1000) comes blasting through time, right in the window of a womens clothes shop. She quickly aquires a car and whistles into the late owner's WAP phone to access internet records of her targets.
Arnie comes through out in the desert; the heat from the dispacement field turning the sand underneath into glass. He goes looking for clothes at a nearby strip joint where a gay dancer who looks more camp than a row of tents, is performing on stage. When a very politely phrased request is made for him to give Arnie his clothes, he thrusts out a palm and invites Arnie to "talk to the hand". Arnie duly grabs his mitt, crushing it to powder, lifts his hand to his mouth and says "Now!" This is the first piece of waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy over-stated humour in the film, that really cuts back on the atmosphere and credibility. Cameron knew how to control humour to stop the Terminator becoming a figure of fun. Even the smiling sequence in T2 was removed. There is just too much of it here. When Arnie steps outside in his new set of leathers, he fishes in a pocket for the obligatory Terminator shades and comes out with some Dame Edna Everage specs, complete with star-shaped, pink frames. Eeeeeeeewwww.
John gets locked in a dog cage at a vets when he tries to nick some medicine, by a girl who turns out to have known him from school. Enter the T-X played by a gorgeous looking Kristanna Loken, who is going round eliminating people who are destined to be John's main commanders in the upcoming war. (Not enough information is known about John due to his lifestyle, to knw where to locate him.) The T-X arrives at the Vet's where John is locked and the girl is about to call the police. The T-X ambushes her in the car park and is interrogating her as to John's wherabouts. Enter the Terminator driving a 4X4 that drives straight over the girl and mows the T-X clean off her feet like an errant blade of grass.
A running battle ensues between Terminator and the T-X, during which we learn that Catherine Brewster (the girl) is due to become John Connor's wife and 2IC during the war. "What war" asks John. "We blew up Cyberdyne over 10 years ago. You shouldn't even exist!"
"You did not prevent Judgement Day, you only postponed it" comes the matter of fact reply. "Judgement Day is inevitable!" So inevitable that it's due to begin at a few minutes past four in the afternoon, THAT VERY DAY! 😱 😱 😱
Brewster's father works for the USAF as a Lieutenant General. (Aren't you impresed with my knowledge of American military rank insignia?😀) He is due to be in charge of the implementation of the activation of Skynet, which is needed to destroy a computer virus that is causing havoc all over the world. He's nervous because it'll be the first time in history that humans hav'nt been in ultimate control over their nuclear stockpile.
Just how Skynet got built after Cyberdyne was blown up and the research destroyed in T2, isn't mentioned. One has to assume that the incident set Cyberdyne's creation back a few years, but they had sufficient data stored elsewhere to begin again. Perhaps the deleted scenes in the DVD wil clear this up.
John, Katherine and Terminator begin a race against time to get to her father and stop him from implementing the deadly super-computer. Sadly, they're not quick enough. He presses the button and all looks good as Skynet goes online and starts to easily take control of all the military systems. Then all shit breaks loose. Screens go blank, flash, explode........... then it turns out that Skynet created the damn virus and is in fact self-aware, which is a tad worrying to say the least. It turns round, looks at it's creators and decides they don't need to exist any more, as they're now obsolete.
The T-X has turned up too, looking like the general's daughter in an attempt to kill him as he's the only one present who posseses the de-activation codes and the location of the mainframe of Skynet. She shoots and mortally wounds the old man, before being blown down an air-shaft by the Terminator. Gazing down the grating after her he intones......... "She'll be back!"
The T-X has activated a whole roomfull of primitive (by comparison to her and Arnie) T-1s, who are now running amok, slaughtering every human they can find. Arnie rips the head clean off one and uses its minigun to disable another. Then Catherine shows the metal that'll become so important in the future by machine gunning a mini Aerial HK out of the air as it charges at her and John.
Catherine has gained a folder full of passcodes and the alleged location of Skyet's mainframe from her father. It's underneath a mountain called Crystal Peak, somewhere in the mid-west. She and John decide to take the old man's plane from the strip and fly out there. Judgement Day is barely an hour away.
Just as they go to leave Terminator turns up, staggering. He's been on the receiving end of the T-X's tender ministrations and she has re-programmed him to kill John Connor. His CPU hasn't been interfered with but she's bugged him with nanomachines that have taken over his auxilliary functions. He shouts at John to get away, but the future resistance leader doesn't make it in time. Terminator gets him by the throat over the bonnet of a jeep and prepares to deliver the death blow. John asks him what his mission is and Terminator replies..
"To ensure the survival of John Connor and Catherine Brewster".
"You are just about to FAIL that mission!"
Terminator struggles with himself, desperately trying to overide his corrupted system. Eventually he wins the struggle, smashing his fist down an inch from John Connor's head, denting the bonnet. He throws John backwards and proceeds to beat the shit out of the jeep, collapsing the suspension and reducing it to scrap. His agression spent, he shuts himself down, freezing in position to stop himself from failing his mission. He freezes in position, hands raised, face slack.
John and Catherine set off, armed with enough explosives to blow Skynet to Kingdom Come, heading for the Crystal Peak bunker. When they arrive they are busy decoding the bunker's blast-door controls when the T-X arrives piloting a small chopper. She tries to ram it into them, but fails and crashes half-way down the tunnel. She strides out of the wreckage and remorselessly towards them when another, much BIGGER chopper that looks like a Huey comes roaring towards them. It smashes the T-X flat and bursts into flames. Arnie strides out, one half of his face stripped to the metal and announces... "I'm BACK!" 😀
Seeing the blast door beginning to close (it opens and shuts vertically) Arnie runs and throws himself under it, holding it up with his arms and shouting at John and Catherine to get inside to safety. As they scramble through, the T-X (reduced to her base endoskeleton, without the flesh) snaps her legs off to continue crawling after them. As she passes Arnie, trying to get to john, he grabs her trailing leg cables and hauls her back. Holding the door up with his legs and holding ono her with one hand, he rips the remaining power cells out of his chest. cracking it in his hand to make it unstable he rams it down her throat. "You're terminated!!!" he barks as it detonates, frying them both to atoms as the enormous door comes crashing down and splatters those atoms to quarks.
John and Catherine rush into the bunker and see themselve surrounded by banks of computer terminals. but something is wrong.........
"These computers are all 30 years old!" John exclaims. Catherine discovers a speaking podium decorated with the badge of the President of the USA and the awful truth sinks in.
"This isn't Skynet. It's a fallout shelter for VIP's!"
In the world above them the missiles are launching. Skynet is firing ICBM's each armed with sixteen 10-15 megaton warheads (each warhead would be 10,000-15,000 times as powerful as the Hiroshima bomb) at the targets most likely to induce a retalitory strike. China, Russia, North Korea......... From a POV in space we see missiles crossing over in graceful arcs, leaving smoke-trails behind them as they go about their destructive journeys. One glowing, golden mushroom cloud after another erupts across the nation as city after city is wiped out. 3 billion human lives.............
Down in the bunker, John and Catherine let it all sink in. The timers on the the explosives have less than a minute to run. (John set them to give enough time for them both to rig Skynet and get out.)
"We could just let it happen" she says, referring to letting the bombs blow them out of the hell they've found themsevles in. John has been a bit of a manic depressive and whiner throughout this film. He considers her suggestion, then almost brutally turns the bomb's timer off. General John Connor is born at that moment.
A speaker is blaring with a voice asking if anyone is out there. Somewhere a field commander is asking for help.
"This is John Connor, at Crystal Peak."
"Who's in charge there?"
There is a pause as a myriad of expressions cross John's face. He resolves himself to his destiny.
"I am!"
"Connor, can you help us? We're under attack!"
Thus is the scene set for a possible fourth installment. John Connor is ensconced at the nerve centre for communicating with the remenants of the US military. (What will be left of it, anyway.) From there the rallying of the people who are left will take place. Most will come from the Southern Hemisphere, where the holocaust and fall-out are less concentrated. As the world is frying to a crisp under the nuclear fires of Judgement Day, the seeds are being sown for the overthrow of the machines that have caused it.
The battle for tomorrow has begun........
Ser-uh Con-uh?
Oozi nann milly-meet-uh.
I need your clothes...... your boots..... and your cod-piece.
You are going home in a smegging ambulance!
Etc.........
So the verdict? Well it wasn't as bad as The Hulk. Nor was it in any way, shape or form anywhere near as good as the first two films in the saga. Unlike The Hulk, those first two films would make the third a welcome addition, even if it was bad. The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day had Jim Cameron doing the directing and Brad Fidel composing the scores. Neither were involved in the 3rd installment and it shows.......
Badly!
The script sounds wooden, the continuity is unbelievably out of step and even Stan Winston's special effects seem muted and not as effective as before. Sad. But to be positive, it doesn't fall into the same trap Attack Of The Clones and Armagheddon did; too many and too obvious CGI effects.
Remember I mentioned the continuity? Well a lot of people might think I'm a train spotter for noticing things like this, but they're the sort of things that highly-paid film directors SHOULD notice. 😡
John Connor says in a VO that Skynet tried to kill him when he was 13. When the T-1000 looked at his records in the police car, it showed his date of birth as the 28th of February, 1985. This would put he events of T2 in mid-1998; supposedly 12 months after Judgement Day occured.(August 29th, 1997.) Now JD wasn't delayed until after the events of the second film, so there's one fuck-up to start with. Another is the fact that although Edward Furlong was 13 when he played the role, John Connor was only supposed to be 10. So why now does he say he was 13? Doh!
In previous screenplays and novels of the second film, Sarah Connor is mentioned to be a soldier in the resistance, fighting right up into her 50's and 60's against Skynet; before being killed leading a supply convoy. In the third installment we discover that she dies of leukemia in 1997. Doh!
Terminators have always been referred to as having a power cell in their chests, but Arnie has two in this one. He discards one of them when it's damaged by the T-X. Doh!
In the first film, Sarah was 19 and Kyle Reese was 21. But going by the date of her birth on her tomb, Sarah would've been 25 during the first film, which takes place in 1984. Doh!
The chronology of the saga is thrown totally out of kilter by these mistakes. So much so that they could only fit properly if the events of the first film were put back 6 years to 1978. Doh, doh, doh!!!
These are the perils of a Johnny-come-lately directing at a late stage in the series. The Superman films took a downward spiral after the asshole Salkind's sacked Richard Donner and replaced him with Richard Lester. 1 was 100% Donner and 2 was 70%. Both films were great. 3 was sliding downhill and 4 was utter crap. 🙁
So to the synopsis.........
It starts out with an VO from John explaining how he's been living "off the grid". No phone, no permenant address, no registered job. Working for cash in hand and sleeping rough. Living a bit like he and Sarah did in the fist decade or so of his life in fact.
The T-X (sort of a cross between the T-101's durability, stability and programming with some of the abilities of the T-1000) comes blasting through time, right in the window of a womens clothes shop. She quickly aquires a car and whistles into the late owner's WAP phone to access internet records of her targets.
Arnie comes through out in the desert; the heat from the dispacement field turning the sand underneath into glass. He goes looking for clothes at a nearby strip joint where a gay dancer who looks more camp than a row of tents, is performing on stage. When a very politely phrased request is made for him to give Arnie his clothes, he thrusts out a palm and invites Arnie to "talk to the hand". Arnie duly grabs his mitt, crushing it to powder, lifts his hand to his mouth and says "Now!" This is the first piece of waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy over-stated humour in the film, that really cuts back on the atmosphere and credibility. Cameron knew how to control humour to stop the Terminator becoming a figure of fun. Even the smiling sequence in T2 was removed. There is just too much of it here. When Arnie steps outside in his new set of leathers, he fishes in a pocket for the obligatory Terminator shades and comes out with some Dame Edna Everage specs, complete with star-shaped, pink frames. Eeeeeeeewwww.
John gets locked in a dog cage at a vets when he tries to nick some medicine, by a girl who turns out to have known him from school. Enter the T-X played by a gorgeous looking Kristanna Loken, who is going round eliminating people who are destined to be John's main commanders in the upcoming war. (Not enough information is known about John due to his lifestyle, to knw where to locate him.) The T-X arrives at the Vet's where John is locked and the girl is about to call the police. The T-X ambushes her in the car park and is interrogating her as to John's wherabouts. Enter the Terminator driving a 4X4 that drives straight over the girl and mows the T-X clean off her feet like an errant blade of grass.
A running battle ensues between Terminator and the T-X, during which we learn that Catherine Brewster (the girl) is due to become John Connor's wife and 2IC during the war. "What war" asks John. "We blew up Cyberdyne over 10 years ago. You shouldn't even exist!"
"You did not prevent Judgement Day, you only postponed it" comes the matter of fact reply. "Judgement Day is inevitable!" So inevitable that it's due to begin at a few minutes past four in the afternoon, THAT VERY DAY! 😱 😱 😱
Brewster's father works for the USAF as a Lieutenant General. (Aren't you impresed with my knowledge of American military rank insignia?😀) He is due to be in charge of the implementation of the activation of Skynet, which is needed to destroy a computer virus that is causing havoc all over the world. He's nervous because it'll be the first time in history that humans hav'nt been in ultimate control over their nuclear stockpile.
Just how Skynet got built after Cyberdyne was blown up and the research destroyed in T2, isn't mentioned. One has to assume that the incident set Cyberdyne's creation back a few years, but they had sufficient data stored elsewhere to begin again. Perhaps the deleted scenes in the DVD wil clear this up.
John, Katherine and Terminator begin a race against time to get to her father and stop him from implementing the deadly super-computer. Sadly, they're not quick enough. He presses the button and all looks good as Skynet goes online and starts to easily take control of all the military systems. Then all shit breaks loose. Screens go blank, flash, explode........... then it turns out that Skynet created the damn virus and is in fact self-aware, which is a tad worrying to say the least. It turns round, looks at it's creators and decides they don't need to exist any more, as they're now obsolete.
The T-X has turned up too, looking like the general's daughter in an attempt to kill him as he's the only one present who posseses the de-activation codes and the location of the mainframe of Skynet. She shoots and mortally wounds the old man, before being blown down an air-shaft by the Terminator. Gazing down the grating after her he intones......... "She'll be back!"
The T-X has activated a whole roomfull of primitive (by comparison to her and Arnie) T-1s, who are now running amok, slaughtering every human they can find. Arnie rips the head clean off one and uses its minigun to disable another. Then Catherine shows the metal that'll become so important in the future by machine gunning a mini Aerial HK out of the air as it charges at her and John.
Catherine has gained a folder full of passcodes and the alleged location of Skyet's mainframe from her father. It's underneath a mountain called Crystal Peak, somewhere in the mid-west. She and John decide to take the old man's plane from the strip and fly out there. Judgement Day is barely an hour away.
Just as they go to leave Terminator turns up, staggering. He's been on the receiving end of the T-X's tender ministrations and she has re-programmed him to kill John Connor. His CPU hasn't been interfered with but she's bugged him with nanomachines that have taken over his auxilliary functions. He shouts at John to get away, but the future resistance leader doesn't make it in time. Terminator gets him by the throat over the bonnet of a jeep and prepares to deliver the death blow. John asks him what his mission is and Terminator replies..
"To ensure the survival of John Connor and Catherine Brewster".
"You are just about to FAIL that mission!"
Terminator struggles with himself, desperately trying to overide his corrupted system. Eventually he wins the struggle, smashing his fist down an inch from John Connor's head, denting the bonnet. He throws John backwards and proceeds to beat the shit out of the jeep, collapsing the suspension and reducing it to scrap. His agression spent, he shuts himself down, freezing in position to stop himself from failing his mission. He freezes in position, hands raised, face slack.
John and Catherine set off, armed with enough explosives to blow Skynet to Kingdom Come, heading for the Crystal Peak bunker. When they arrive they are busy decoding the bunker's blast-door controls when the T-X arrives piloting a small chopper. She tries to ram it into them, but fails and crashes half-way down the tunnel. She strides out of the wreckage and remorselessly towards them when another, much BIGGER chopper that looks like a Huey comes roaring towards them. It smashes the T-X flat and bursts into flames. Arnie strides out, one half of his face stripped to the metal and announces... "I'm BACK!" 😀
Seeing the blast door beginning to close (it opens and shuts vertically) Arnie runs and throws himself under it, holding it up with his arms and shouting at John and Catherine to get inside to safety. As they scramble through, the T-X (reduced to her base endoskeleton, without the flesh) snaps her legs off to continue crawling after them. As she passes Arnie, trying to get to john, he grabs her trailing leg cables and hauls her back. Holding the door up with his legs and holding ono her with one hand, he rips the remaining power cells out of his chest. cracking it in his hand to make it unstable he rams it down her throat. "You're terminated!!!" he barks as it detonates, frying them both to atoms as the enormous door comes crashing down and splatters those atoms to quarks.
John and Catherine rush into the bunker and see themselve surrounded by banks of computer terminals. but something is wrong.........
"These computers are all 30 years old!" John exclaims. Catherine discovers a speaking podium decorated with the badge of the President of the USA and the awful truth sinks in.
"This isn't Skynet. It's a fallout shelter for VIP's!"
In the world above them the missiles are launching. Skynet is firing ICBM's each armed with sixteen 10-15 megaton warheads (each warhead would be 10,000-15,000 times as powerful as the Hiroshima bomb) at the targets most likely to induce a retalitory strike. China, Russia, North Korea......... From a POV in space we see missiles crossing over in graceful arcs, leaving smoke-trails behind them as they go about their destructive journeys. One glowing, golden mushroom cloud after another erupts across the nation as city after city is wiped out. 3 billion human lives.............
Down in the bunker, John and Catherine let it all sink in. The timers on the the explosives have less than a minute to run. (John set them to give enough time for them both to rig Skynet and get out.)
"We could just let it happen" she says, referring to letting the bombs blow them out of the hell they've found themsevles in. John has been a bit of a manic depressive and whiner throughout this film. He considers her suggestion, then almost brutally turns the bomb's timer off. General John Connor is born at that moment.
A speaker is blaring with a voice asking if anyone is out there. Somewhere a field commander is asking for help.
"This is John Connor, at Crystal Peak."
"Who's in charge there?"
There is a pause as a myriad of expressions cross John's face. He resolves himself to his destiny.
"I am!"
"Connor, can you help us? We're under attack!"
Thus is the scene set for a possible fourth installment. John Connor is ensconced at the nerve centre for communicating with the remenants of the US military. (What will be left of it, anyway.) From there the rallying of the people who are left will take place. Most will come from the Southern Hemisphere, where the holocaust and fall-out are less concentrated. As the world is frying to a crisp under the nuclear fires of Judgement Day, the seeds are being sown for the overthrow of the machines that have caused it.
The battle for tomorrow has begun........
