The Crazy Christmas Carols Lyrics Thread 2012 Edition.

[paracarl44]

In this thread you can post new lyrics to famous Christmas Carols.

I will start it off with: Deck The Halls with Poison Ivy.

 

[milagros317]

Borrowed from another fetish site:

On the first day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the second day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the third day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the fourth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the fifth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the sixth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the seventh day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
seven switches swatting,
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the eighth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
eight throats a-choking,
seven switches swatting,
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the ninth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
nine sissy trainings,
eight throats a-choking,
seven switches swatting,
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the tenth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
ten paddles paddling,
nine sissy trainings,
eight throats a-choking,
seven switches swatting,
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the eleventh day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
eleven humblers humbling,
ten paddles paddling,
nine sissy trainings,
eight throats a-choking,
seven switches swatting,
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

On the twelfth day of Kinkmas my Mistress gave to me:
twelve whips a-whipping,
eleven humblers humbling,
ten paddles paddling,
nine sissy trainings,
eight throats a-choking,
seven switches swatting,
six hard core canings,
five skullfuckings!
Four cattle prods,
three fistings,
two nipple tweaks,
and a bitchslap across the left cheek.

 

[paracarl44]

Borrowed from another fetish site:

^Good One Milagros.^

 

[Gothika]

joy to the moon its time for bed

 

[AmishTickler]

Jingle Bells!
Batman Smells!
Robin Laid an Egg!
Batmobile lost a wheel!
Joker got away!
😛

 

[paracarl44]

From Jingle Bells: Oh what fun it is to ride in a brand new Chevrolet.


^This really pissed off our music teacher.^

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

From Do you hear what I hear: He will bring us goodness and bud light

 

[AmishTickler]

From Walkin' In A Winter Wonderland:

Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear. 😛

 

[paracarl44]

We wish you a Merry Christmas, but a lousy New Year.

 

[paracarl44]

Here's another one.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree.

How ugly are your branches.

 

[paracarl44]

The NRA rendition of Jingle Bells.

Jingle bells, shotgun shells bee bees all the way,

Oh what fun it is go to the rifle range on Christmas Day.

 

[Cavum]

by MONTY PYTHON!

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

I'm Rudolph and I quit, just who's he think he is,
That little fat ****'s at back in the sleigh, cracking that fucking whip
And me stuck up the front with these other useless cunts
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

And what about us elves, we've had enough as well.
Working in that freezing factory cold as fucking hell
Working till we drop, with our bollocks brazing off.
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

I'm Santa Claus' wife, I know what he's really like
Sneaking into them little kids rooms he's a fucking pedophile.
A devious old drunk and I'm married to the ****.
So stick ya christmas your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus, we've had enough, we quit
'Cause we do all the fucking work while he stars in the show
Stick ya christmas up your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

Stick ya christmas your arse, ho ho fucking ho.

 

[paracarl44]

We Three Kings from the Orient afar,

bearing gifts like a rubber cigar.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Oh the weather outside is frightful but the fire is so delighful and since we've got no place to go, climb aboard the yule tide log