The Dr. Seuss Thread

[kurchatovium]

Let me start this innovative new thread from Kurchatovium Thread Technologies with my own salute to grits.

Green Grits and Ham

Won't you try Green Grits and Ham?
There just dandy with some jam.
There just lovely when its sunny.
If your in the south better not add honey.
Won't you, won't you try green grits and ham?
I hear its even better than roasted lamb.
Would you try them just for fun?
Would you try them while on the run?
Would you like them with medication?
So please Oh please try some green grits and ham.
They are even good while in a tram.
Good with jam.
Better than lamb.
On a tram.
Try some green grits and ham.

 

[venray]

Titles Rejected by Dr. Seuss

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1. The Cat in the Blender
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox in Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho

6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo---Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?

13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants
16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
18. The Grinch's Ten Inches

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Titles Rejected by Dr. Seuss

<center>

</center>


1. The Cat in the Blender
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox in Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho

6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo---Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?

13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs A Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants
16. Oh, the Places You'll Scratch and Sniff!
17. Horton Fakes an Orgasm
18. The Grinch's Ten Inches

I don't know where ya found these but they are great! 😀 Thanks for sharing these

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

Venray......

ROFL.... You are too funny! I should know better by now than to read your posts without putting on some depends first....now I've got to go change my panties.

I don't think I'm going to be able to ever read my daughter Dr. Seuss books again without cracking up.

Maggie

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

No one can top Ven, he is the Man!🙂 Yeah some how reading Dr. Suess is gonna have a new view now LOL Thanks Ven for those they were great as always!

Something to add to kurchatovium's Dr. Suess:
Dr. Suess on the Terrorists
Every U down in U-ville liked U.S. a lot,
But the Binch, who lived Far East of U-ville, did not.
The Binch hated U.S! the whole U.S. way!
Now don't ask me why, for nobody can say,

It could be his turban was screwed on too tight.
Or the sun from the desert had beaten too bright
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his turban,
He stood facing U-ville, the part that was urban.
"They're doing their business," he snarled from his perch.
"They're raising their families! They're going to church!
They're leading the world, and their empire is thriving,
I MUST keep the S's and U's from surviving!"

Tomorrow, he knew, all the U's and the S's,
Would put on their pants and their shirts and their dresses,
They'd go to their offices, playgrounds and schools,
And abide by their U and S values and rules,
And then they'd do something he liked least of all,
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand all united, each U and each S,
And they'd sing U-ville's anthem, "God bless us! God bless!"

All around their Twin Towers of U-ville, they'd stand,
and their voices would drown every sound in the land.
"I must stop that singing," Binch said with a smirk,
And he had an idea--an idea that might work!

The Binch stole some U airplanes in U morning hours,
And crashed them right into the U-ville Twin Towers.
"They'll wake to disaster!" he snickered, so sour,
"And how can they sing when they can't find a tower?"

The Binch cocked his ear as they woke from their sleeping,
All set to enjoy their U-wailing and weeping,
Instead he heard something that started quite low,
And it built up quite slow, but it started to grow--
And the Binch heard the most unpredictable thing...
And he couldn't believe it--they started to sing!

He stared down at U-ville, not trusting his eyes,
What he saw was a shocking, disgusting surprise!
Every U down in U-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any towers at all!

He HADN'T stopped U-Ville from singing! It sung!
For down deep in the hearts of the old and the young,
Those Twin Towers were standing, called Hope and called Pride,
And you can't smash the towers we hold deep inside.

So we circle the sites where our heroes did fall,
With a hand in each hand of the tall and the small,
And we mourn for our losses while knowing we'll cope,
For we still have inside that U-Pride and U-Hope.

For America means a bit more than tall towers,
It means more than wealth or political powers,
It's more than our enemies ever could guess,
So may God bless America! Bless us! God bless!


-- Rob Suggs

 

[venray]

Here's another, Maggie..

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

🙂 a nutter one under your belt 😀 thanks, I'm not Maggie :d but thanks Ven

 

[venray]

LOL Tracy!