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The drinking toast thread

sole seeker1

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Please feel free to post your favorite toasts, and jokes about toasts on this thread. Maybe we can find some new humorous ones to use in real life.


I'll start with this. It isn't a toast, but it is a joke about one:





AN IRISH TOAST

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize, the other night, with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised me self! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.
 
Ok... here's a sick puppy from my college days:


Here's to a woman
A flower devine.
She blooms once a month,
And blossoms after nine.

She's the only life form
Known this side of hell,
Can get the juice from a nut
Without cracking the shell!
 
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