The 'embarrassment' response to tickling : Men versus women

[aberdeen]

I just finished reading some of the comments in the thread concerning why tickling is many times considered 'taboo'

Within that thread, the feeling of 'embarrassment' about our ticklishness helps make it felt to be 'taboo' ( at least where males are concerned ) .

There were comments by men (and at least one female 100% LER) mentioning the 'embarrassment' factor adding to their ticklishness' and how the embarrassment of tickled males is because of our innate sense of bravado, alpha male status and general overall strength. All good points to be sure and it does add to the psychological aspect of tickling!

My question to the females on the board is : How do ticklish female Lees, switches and LERs feel about their ticklishness and being tickled?
What is your mindset when tickled?
Do you consider your ticklishness a 'weakness' for you (as it is for us men) ?
A weakness to be hidden or denied?
Do you think embarrassment over your ticklishness plays a role in your feelings and responses about tickling?
As a culture, we seem to have a general societal idea that women are automatically more ticklish than men ( I don't believe in that generality but its out there)...So does this serve to make women's ticklishness more 'acceptable' or less embarrassing (compared to men)?

As always, just curious ...This time about the women's point of view on this topic!

 

[AshleyC]

I am not embarrassed about being ticklish. I do believe it could be my weakness only when others find out you are ticklish they will always tickle you. I would be nervous if some found out and then I get tickled a lot lol. My husband is also very ticklish and he definitely does not want to show that he is outside of us lol. It could be because he is in Law Enforcement and with his size, 6’2 and like 240lbs, tattooed and pretty muscular, he would definitely see it as a weakness lol….. that’s my two sense

 

[Lostcause13]

I am not embarrassed about being ticklish. I do believe it could be my weakness only when others find out you are ticklish they will always tickle you. I would be nervous if some found out and then I get tickled a lot lol. My husband is also very ticklish and he definitely does not want to show that he is outside of us lol. It could be because he is in Law Enforcement and with his size, 6’2 and like 240lbs, tattooed and pretty muscular, he would definitely see it as a weakness lol….. that’s my two sense

Would it be different if lets say someone announced how ticklish you were then one or two people kept poking and prodding you in a public setting?

 

[AshleyC]

OMG I would die! Lol

 

[Lostcause13]

OMG I would die! Lol

Oh really? Enough to surrender to a private session? 😉

 

[AshleyC]

😂

 

[DebonairDavid]

I am not embarrassed about being ticklish. I do believe it could be my weakness only when others find out you are ticklish they will always tickle you. I would be nervous if some found out and then I get tickled a lot lol.

I remember reading in another post that you were a teacher. While I'm not saying this is right if it ever did/does happen (because of boundary issues), but how would you respond if one of students or group of students decided to tickle you? Not surprisingly, I used to fantasize about tickling my female teachers back in the day, and I got excited when I got to see them in their socks, so you may be the inspiration for their foot fetish or tickle fetish. 🤣

The only awkward thing will be seeing them on here when they're our age

 

[AshleyC]

I remember reading in another post that you were a teacher. While I'm not saying this is right if it ever did/does happen (because of boundary issues), but how would you respond if one of students or group of students decided to tickle you? Not surprisingly, I used to fantasize about tickling my female teachers back in the day, and I got excited when I got to see them in their socks, so you may be the inspiration for their foot fetish or tickle fetish. 🤣

The only awkward thing will be seeing them on here when they're our age

Well, I teach Pre K….sorry to ruin that fantasy lol

 

[DebonairDavid]

Well, I teach Pre K….sorry to ruin that fantasy lol

You'd be surprised of how young a person is when they develop a fetish. My foot fetish developed when I was only 4. First it starts off as a mere curiosity (as infants are always exploring and curious about everything), then it unknowingly becomes an interest of theirs, and finally starts to solidify as a fetish when they're about 10 onward. This video also sheds some light on this topic: https://youtu. be/7yG7tkzgScY
I can see a scenario where you're reading to the kids while wearing striped fun socks, and one of them notices your toes moving back and forth like a worm, and them curiously grabbing or pinching your toes causes you to giggle while struggling to read. I'll admit that's cute because they'd be having a playful moment with you. 😆😍

If you want, I'm down for a ticklish teacher RP. Send me a PM.

 

[AshleyC]

Oh well yeah that has actually happened

 

[DebonairDavid]

Oh well yeah that has actually happened

So you ARE the inspiration their foot/tickle fetish! You made them one of us! 🤣

 

[AshleyC]

😂

 

[Sunriseticklee]

First... Thank you for posting this in a separate thread. I wanted so much to engage, but there were other things that I felt needed to be said.

Secondly... Let me say that I hate that some people make comments to men that make them feel embarrassed to embrace natural things about themselves. I hate that it is assumed by some that ticklers are men and masculine, and ticklees are female and feminine. And I suppose I have consciously and unconsciously been fighting against most gender-norms my entire life. Chalk it up to my tomboyishness and competitive spirit from childhood (ok... still present LOL), or my oppositional defiance (present), or my fight against misogyny (ongoing). So... I'm going to say that my responses may not be the norm or baseline of women's responses. I am different. And I like it.

My question to the females on the board is : How do ticklish female Lees, switches and LERs feel about their ticklishness and being tickled?

I am a ler-leaning switch, and I love most everything about being ticklish and tickling others. I have fully embraced this fetish of mine. I wish I was in a location or situation where I could indulge more, but I have limited myself due to some life events. One day, I hope to be as open and free as I once was. We'll see. 💕

What is your mindset when tickled?
Do you consider your ticklishness a 'weakness' for you (as it is for us men) ?
A weakness to be hidden or denied?

Goodness: My mindset?- This is a loaded question lol. 😝

I feel like my connection to tickling is vast and flexible depending on the goal of the session agreed to by my tickler and myself. Tickling for me is pure joy. It's a release; almost therapeutic. Tickling is playful (always), and sensual (sometimes). When I'm being tickled (more than a few minutes), it is pure torture. I love to hate it, yet I also love to love it.

I want to hear my laughter grow frantic. I want to hear my words switch from teasing and baiting my tickler to REAL, earnest begging. I want to feel powerless and controlled by the tickling- YET at the same time, as a lee, I'm still powerful because there is something irresistible about me that makes my tickler not want to stop. This battle of wills is just the game I love to play and love to lose. Please... Let me lose. It is like flying and falling. And I want this so badly that my fingertips are tingling with energy as I'm typing.

Being ticklish has always been considered a weakness for me because the discovery of it was always some sort of GRAND announcement! I would be minding my own business beating guys in races, climbing trees, on the basketball court, football field, wrestling... where ever. And there would be that one poke, my awkward reaction, and this loud proclamation followed by ticklish chaos. I would be on the ground, balled up, laughing my ass off. And I would be surrounded by the tormentors and the amused bystanders doing NOTHING to stop it.

And they would bring it up whenever they felt I needed to be taken down a peg or two.
"Oh! Don't forget! I know your weakness!"

So... I was always afraid to be found out. AND also, kinda wanted the right person to find out (privately).

I was a tickle monster who folded when my victims caught me off guard and got me back. Getting destroyed was awful! Humiliating! And I figured out that I sort of loved it and hated it. The fear is STILL there!

As it is. I fully hide my ticklishness and all the kinky things about me like Diana Prince and Wonder Woman. Recently, a person whom I have a crush on brought up tickling and how ticklish he was AND where, and I was pretty silent. I downplayed it and didn't mention how hopelessly ticklish I was (am), and where (everywhere), and how I fantasized about and feared that he (just him) would find out. And I am equally afraid of the conversation where I have to honestly explain why he can't tickle me unless he is aware of how I will take it because I like him. So then I'd be that weirdo... or I'm that person whom he could fully control whenever he wants with one finger. ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Just- I have a commanding presence, and most people do exactly what I say. I am almost always in control which is why I love how out of control I am when I am being tickled. (Really- most of my kinks remove my control, and I'm so into that- Except when I'm switching and can be evil right back. Sigh.... See!

Do you think embarrassment over your ticklishness plays a role in your feelings and responses about tickling?
As a culture, we seem to have a general societal idea that women are automatically more ticklish than men ( I don't believe in that generality but its out there)...So does this serve to make women's ticklishness more 'acceptable' or less embarrassing (compared to men)?

Yes and no. I feel embarrassed and nervous and sometimes destroyed and humiliated when I completely lose control, but I also want those feelings (need them). I feel like it's hard to explain, but I know some of you understand exactly what I am attempting to convey. I want to feel powerless when I am being tickled, and powerful when I am tickling someone else. I love the power exchange when I am tickling a man. Goodness! Ticklish men are just so top tier. And y'all are my favorite to tickle.

This mindset/mentality of tickling and gender really sucks for me because honestly, */m is my favorite. And it is so difficult to find men who will play the lee (even as a switch). It's difficult to find men who believe they have the complete freedom to release their laughter as loud and as strong as they want to be. It's difficult to find men who aren't ashamed of begging, thrashing around, and all of the things that I find just beautiful, irresistible, AND MANLY wrapped in all that ticklishness!

Maybe I'll run into that person who will allow me to finally release the real tickle monster that I have tucked away and hidden from polite kink society. Maybe. 😈

 

[BlueLine7045]

Not sure if this is a thread focusing specifically on women and their responses, or anyone can respond, but I will say this.

As a ticklish man, mostly ler, and ex-LE (shoutout to your husband AshleyC... also my wife is a cop), I wouldn't say I am really embarrassed per say about being ticklish. To be fair, I'm not really one of those act tough, appear big and strong, muscles everywhere, etc kinda guys. But I also don't consider tickling a weakness. It just is, if that makes sense. It's a biological function/response. No better or worse than when we cough or sneeze or blink our eyes.

I will say though I am a person that prefers to blend in and not really draw a scene or attract attention to myself, and also not big on PDA, so being tickled in public would definitely be embarrassing, but not because I'm ticklish.

Not only that though, but tickling is different for me than your average regular person because it is on some level a fetish. So where tickling might just be harmless fun to someone else, it could end up being more for me depending on the situation. So that adds a level of awkwardness as well. Kind of like getting caught looking at a naughty magazine or website by a parent.

 

[natscott6282]

female Lee and not embarrassed about being ticklish but defo embarrassed if I was seen in my most ticklish state

my mindset turns to panick and unbearable ticklishness

ticklishness is obviously a weakness for anyone

dont think my embarrassment has a role in my love
womens ticklishness is more acceptable imho for most ppl

 

[WickedTouch]

I don't know if I'll state this as clearly as I want to, but I've thought about this a lot over the years. While I think there are many, many reasons both men and women can get embarrassed from being tickled, I think there's one big one that we often think of as associated with only males (I'm also guilty of often stating it this way, primarily because I'm seeing through my experience). And while it seems to disproportionately affect males, it can apply to females too. When someone makes strength, power, or very similar qualities a very prime value or part of their identity, then anything that reveals vulnerability in that individual is likely to be embarrassing in some way. More males than not tend to hyper focus on those as primary values due to culture, upbringing, biochemistry, and any number of other reasons, but just as some males don't develop that way, some females do. But whether male or female, I think when that very pronounced factor is present, embarrassment very often occurs due to the difficult to reconcile vulnerability–and one often perceived as playful, childish, or silly at that!

I suspect this is also at least somewhat common for lers in that group (of which I am a part–I grew of with a lot of hardened influences). I certainly have some level of embarrassment for my ler side, probably due to similar reasons of it being perceived as childish, playful, etc. But at this point, I'm still substantially more embarrassed about the lee side of things (can't help it, just reflexive), but I do explore it. It's so weird to love something so much, and simultaneously feel terrified and embarrassed about it.

Again, I think there are other reasons for embarrassment from tickling–but this is a very common one. Would love to hear more responses from women with their specific experiences and reasons for being embarrassed by it.

 

[laffmaker1234]

Maybe the willingness to admit one's ticklishness has to do with being tickled by the opposite sex. My question to women would be: when are you LESS likely to conceal your ticklishness during a pedicure - when it's a man or a woman giving you the pedicure?

 

[Not A Fed]

I enjoy being exploited both via verbal teasing and physical action by the man who is playing with me. I enjoy talking a big game and them knowing where I'm weak.

 

[aberdeen]

female Lee and not embarrassed about being ticklish but defo embarrassed if I was seen in my most ticklish state

my mindset turns to panick and unbearable ticklishness

ticklishness is obviously a weakness for anyone

dont think my embarrassment has a role in my love
womens ticklishness is more acceptable imho for most ppl

Interesting points about how you don't feel embarrassed about 'being ticklish' but being embarrassed if I was seen in my most ticklish state'...
That is probably how I would feel --- and prob anyone would be embarrassed to be seen in their most ticklish state...because that is also normally going to be our most 'helpless' state...and in all honesty, as LERS we know that as much as many WANT to deny it...( esp guys in general ) ..once the LEE ( OR we LERS acting as switches in the LEE role ) is being tickled to absolute bits...up to or past their mental and physical limits.... tickled to their very core....They will end up begging and pleading for relief, and promising that proverbial 'ANYTHING' to get the tickling to stop! For others to see us in our most vulnerable and helpless state, esp if we are the ones breaking down and begging for relief...Yes that is VERY embarrassing...

I've many clips showing how even LEES that ask for and truly want the experience of being 'wrecked' by tickling are incredibly embarrassed in that period of their most helpless state and how their LER can get them to say anything just to get the tickle torture to end...
Another good point is that ticklish is a weakness for anyone...and yes in our society, the general feeling is that women's ticklishness is more 'acceptable', which means we poor boys who sometimes get tickled just t have to live with the embarrassment of the situation...😂
Thanks for the good input

 

[aberdeen]

Maybe the willingness to admit one's ticklishness has to do with being tickled by the opposite sex. My question to women would be: when are you LESS likely to conceal your ticklishness during a pedicure - when it's a man or a woman giving you the pedicure?

maybe the gender of the LEE and LER would alter the WILLINGNESS to 'freely' admit to their ticklishness....But overall, I think it will depend on the simple skill of the LER. Because your extreme responses and confessions will come out under the duress of thorough tickling....It won't matter WHICH gender is in control of your helpless and vulnerable state, it will be HOW they use that state against you...

 

[aberdeen]

I don't know if I'll state this as clearly as I want to, but I've thought about this a lot over the years. While I think there are many, many reasons both men and women can get embarrassed from being tickled, I think there's one big one that we often think of as associated with only males (I'm also guilty of often stating it this way, primarily because I'm seeing through my experience). And while it seems to disproportionately affect males, it can apply to females too. When someone makes strength, power, or very similar qualities a very prime value or part of their identity, then anything that reveals vulnerability in that individual is likely to be embarrassing in some way. More males than not tend to hyper focus on those as primary values due to culture, upbringing, biochemistry, and any number of other reasons, but just as some males don't develop that way, some females do. But whether male or female, I think when that very pronounced factor is present, embarrassment very often occurs due to the difficult to reconcile vulnerability–and one often perceived as playful, childish, or silly at that!

I suspect this is also at least somewhat common for lers in that group (of which I am a part–I grew of with a lot of hardened influences). I certainly have some level of embarrassment for my ler side, probably due to similar reasons of it being perceived as childish, playful, etc. But at this point, I'm still substantially more embarrassed about the lee side of things (can't help it, just reflexive), but I do explore it. It's so weird to love something so much, and simultaneously feel terrified and embarrassed about it.

Again, I think there are other reasons for embarrassment from tickling–but this is a very common one. Would love to hear more responses from women with their specific experiences and reasons for being embarrassed by it.

all good comments..but l'll mention how you say you have reservations about the Ler side of you bec of the embarrassment of the vulnerability....but yet you want to explore it by being tickled anyway! This is such a common theme (myself included, although never been stressed fully in the Lee role). But as I mention on another reply....there are many clips of 100 % Lees who CRAVE the helpless of being restrained and tickled to absolute bits...hearing them wail and practically cry at their own ticklish weakness and their inability to "take it'....and of course their LER is just tormenting them nonstop, making them beg and plead for relief or sometimes to other tasks for their relief Ie "bark like a dog " was one I heard ....or making the Lee ADMIT they LOVE the state of helpless ticklishness they willingly placed themselves in...
The psychology of our tickling fixations is just so interesting to explore ...
Thanks for your great input

 

[aberdeen]

Not sure if this is a thread focusing specifically on women and their responses, or anyone can respond, but I will say this.

As a ticklish man, mostly ler, and ex-LE (shoutout to your husband AshleyC... also my wife is a cop), I wouldn't say I am really embarrassed per say about being ticklish. To be fair, I'm not really one of those act tough, appear big and strong, muscles everywhere, etc kinda guys. But I also don't consider tickling a weakness. It just is, if that makes sense. It's a biological function/response. No better or worse than when we cough or sneeze or blink our eyes.

I will say though I am a person that prefers to blend in and not really draw a scene or attract attention to myself, and also not big on PDA, so being tickled in public would definitely be embarrassing, but not because I'm ticklish.

Not only that though, but tickling is different for me than your average regular person because it is on some level a fetish. So where tickling might just be harmless fun to someone else, it could end up being more for me depending on the situation. So that adds a level of awkwardness as well. Kind of like getting caught looking at a naughty magazine or website by a parent.

I titled the thread so I could get women's input on this topic but also bec the embarrassment factor seems to be heavily slanted toward men Lee's...
I guess another question for a later thread would be on Lers sand their preferences on Lees. ie do LERS want a Lee that tries to 'holds out ' as long as possible --or one who simply gives in faster and gets to the max vulnerability in like 2 minutes...and how that changes for Male vs female LERs....that will be Saturday's project ...😂

and thanks for your good info...

 

[Not A Fed]

You can do multi-quote posts, love. Just click the "Quote" button.

 

[WickedTouch]

all good comments..but l'll mention how you say you have reservations about the Ler side of you bec of the embarrassment of the vulnerability....but yet you want to explore it by being tickled anyway! This is such a common theme (myself included, although never been stressed fully in the Lee role). But as I mention on another reply....there are many clips of 100 % Lees who CRAVE the helpless of being restrained and tickled to absolute bits...hearing them wail and practically cry at their own ticklish weakness and their inability to "take it'....and of course their LER is just tormenting them nonstop, making them beg and plead for relief or sometimes to other tasks for their relief Ie "bark like a dog " was one I heard ....or making the Lee ADMIT they LOVE the state of helpless ticklishness they willingly placed themselves in...
The psychology of our tickling fixations is just so interesting to explore ...
Thanks for your great input

Thank you! Yes, it's very weird and humorous how the mind can be so pulled towards and away from something at the same time. I'd say how you described some lee's desires and experiences are very similar to how I prefer my own experiences as a lee (though other tickling is fine as well). I think because of my nervousness and embarrassment around it, and the fact that I'm a switch, sometimes I come off as not being into the lee role at an extreme level. I've actually been thinking about this lately, especially as it relates to the switch factor, which was the topic of my recent writing. And I totally agree with you about the psychology being so interesting. I love how something as simple as tickling can give so many unexpected human insights.

 

[LerLee]

This is how my wife would reply. I tickle her a lot and she also gets tickled at work. She’s not one of us but does like to tickle. That being said, she does seem to sometimes like getting her feet tickled even though she won’t ever admit to it.

What is your mindset when tickled? Why am I laughing? I thought I would be able to control myself this time. This is embarrassing. I’m laughing like I’m having a great time but I don’t want this to continue. My laughter confirms that I’m ticklish even though I will never admit it.

Do you consider your ticklishness a 'weakness' for you (as it is for us men) ?
Yes! I could take anyone on if I were not so ticklish.

A weakness to be hidden or denied?
Yes! I will never admit to being ticklish even when I’m laughing hysterically.

Do you think embarrassment over your ticklishness plays a role in your feelings and responses about tickling?

Yes, I don’t like anyone knowing my weakness. I don’t like them being able to control me — make me laugh involuntarily. It’s all really embarrassing. Now they know how ticklish I am and I’m sure they will use it against me like others have done in the past. This is so embarrassing. Why is she not very ticklish? Why am I so ticklish?