The evolution of a fetish and other ideas to consider

[MN Tikl]

Rather than bury this within a response to another post, I'll take Mia's kind suggestion and start a new thread. [by the way, Mia, I e-mailed you previously about your New York 'experience' but was unable to follow up, due to a shortened business trip -- thank you for your quick response to me, though]

I think that all of us, in one way or another, had a tickling experience as children -- during our 'formative years' so to speak -- which started us down the road to ticklephile-dom.

Mine had to do with a babysitter that used to pin me and my brothers down and tickle torture us endlessly! [I was ~6-7 at the time] She was a tickle-sadist if there ever was one, and we truly feared her. Her favorite position was to force us down on our backs, then straddle us pinning one of our arms to our side between her legs, and holding the other wrist up high above our heads, exposing our armpit, ribs, waist and hips to merciless tickling by her free hand. After several minutes, she would switch sides and lift our other arm up -- and tickle away to her heart's content. She would tickle us as punishment; and when we were careful to do nothing wrong, she'd tickle us purely for sport. She'd make up games, and if we lost (and she made sure we always lost), the result would be -- you guessed it -- more tickle torture. She definitely enjoyed these sessions as much as we dreaded them, and I've often wondered whether she had once been the victim of similar treatment as a little girl.

After repeated tickle torture sessions, I began to daydream in vivid detail about gaining revenge on her (I was never able to, though, as she was much stronger than me). I became intrigued with the general idea of forcing others -- particularly women -- to feel certain sensations against their will. I tickled everybody I could, and found that I got an incredible exhilaration from it. I even got in trouble for tickling my brothers, which led to certain feelings of shame about my interest in tickling [I absolutely loved doing it, yet it was somehow socially taboo; it began to feel like a 'dirty' thing to do - a guilty pleasure, so to speak]. As I got older, my thoughts of tickling (and more generally the dynamic of 'power exchange') mixed in some psychological way and morphed into the formation of my sexuality. The result: tickling is now 'hard-wired' into my sexuality. Tickling others and being tickled and watching tickling arouses me to no end!

How about the rest of you? Similar experiences?

[note: after re-reading this, I am struck by the clinical, sterile aspect of my description. I wonder whether the 'magic' of tickling -- that certain je ne sais quoi -- is jeopardized by such an analysis; I suppose this is a topic for a future thread. Another topic alluded to above, which should be explored in a future thread, is the idea of 'tickling as taboo' -- i.e., is tickling intrisically a guilty pleasure? Would tickling lose its thrill if there wasn't an element of societal taboo associated with it? And finally, on a further level, *should* one feel a twinge of guilt about the desire to tickle another person? After all, tickling is a violation of another persons's space -- not to mention the 'taunting' aspect of tickling, which is overtly sadistic]

Ok -- how's that for throwing out some ideas?! Comments anybody?

 

[MistressMia]

about the magic...

Great post by the way!

My personal opinion is that there is no loss of magic (for me anyway). I am a naturaly analytical creature and therefore the more I find out, the more intrigued I am.

Analyzing something "clinicaly" or otherwise, seems to bring me to the doorway of a wider scope of possibilities! Therefore enabling me to be more creative with whatever it is I'm dealing with. So I say to you: "analyze your heart out and explore your pants off!" either way, enjoy it!😉

 

[b_badder]

Another opinion

I had originally posted this under the Psycho's departure thread but this one seemed to fit better. It may not speak directly to your post but still seems appropriately placed. Cheers

Hi Folks,

I'm new here. Let me begin by saying that I don't presume to know all the inner politics and personalities involved with this site. I only know what I've read in the various posts. I'm rarely compelled to comment on things I come across here but I've come to like this site. Regrettably, this will be a lengthy post. Sorry.

My hats off to the folks who created TMF and those who will try to maintain it. Like many, over the years I've come across many tickle sites but none have had the sense of community and mutual respect as this one has. Bravo to all who participate and contribute to the civility that resides here.

As part of the get-to-know-me portion, I've found tickling to be a turn on ever since my Grade 2 teacher let us play with her feet during reading time (an entire thesis could be built around this I'm sure. We can discuss origins later). There was no desires to control others against their will although I do enjoy pictorials that portray bound women being tickled in a mutally enjoyable fashion.

I do enjoy tickling in moderation. Yes it is something that I enjoy to the point of buying the occasional magazine, downloading and viewing clips and even participating in this forum but that can apply to my enjoyment of sex in general, F1 racing, computers, Bloom County, Calvin and Hobbes, and kite flying. My wife gets tickled and tickles me - not always but regularly enough for me to get my fill.

I don't obsess about it day and night and I don't consider it to be a burden or weird. I think some of the folks here need to cut yourselves some slack. I don't know any of you and whether you really do have 'issues' with what you choose to enjoy. I must say though that for most, I doubt it. Do you really have a fetish? You have to decide. The dictionary says that a fetish is excessive or irrational devotion to some activity. By this definition, I don't have a tickle fetish any more than I have a sex fetish, car fetish, an F1 fetish or a Bloom county fetish. I suspect that many if not most of the participants on this board don't really have a tickle fetish - just a healthy enjoyment for it that can be indulged here more so than anywhere else.

I'd hate to see suggestions that paint this as some dark, curtained off, little room where weirdos skulk about sharing and indulging in their sick, twisted little fetishes.

Anyway, that's my rambling rant. If you got this far, kudos to you.

Cheers

 

[Ayla ny]

such wonderful posts! I love reading everyone's thoughts on tickling and what it means to them.

I think that the word 'turn-on' (or would that be two words? lol) fits me better than the word 'fetish'. I once read a post that compared tickling to kissing. this is the perfect analogy to me. both can be fun or intense, friendly or sensual, warm and fuzzy or all comsuming. I guess it all depends on who is doing the tickling or being tickled. both are always (at least to me) very intimate ways of showing affection. of course tickling's intensity kind of brings a whole other side that kissing can't come close to lol.

I could ramble on but won't 🙂

anyhow... thanks for sharing your thoughts and letting me share mine.

Ayla

 

[MN Tikl]

Thanks for your thoughts. I use "fetish" for a convenient shorthand, to describe a sexual interest in something that is out of the mainstream. But I have always been somewhat uncomfortable using the term, for the reasons discussed above. It implies pathology, or something that must be cured. The bottom line, however, is that "fetish" isn't really an accurate description of most of our interests in tickling -- particularly the part about *needing* tickling to get turned on. I *can* certainly get aroused without the introduction of tickling -- so the strict definition of 'fetish' just doesn't seem to fit.

I think the term "turn on" is perfect! Tickling can be so many things -- from a soft, gentle, playful, teasing stroke, to an intense, no mercy, make 'em scream, beg, and lose all composure, torture session -- and everything in between. In the right context, it's all a turn on!

 

[Kujman1]

Wow!

The TMf should be congratulated for pulling together such diversified opinions and intellectual discussions- all of them valid and worth taking a look after you've walked in another person's shoes. Can you ever imagine a conversation like this taking place on a newsgroup?LOL Every other post would have some comment about "babes" or "chicks" or flames or whatever... I sincerely applaud all of you for not only sharing your intimate experiences, but your current well rounded ADULT views on the subject from the age at which you're at now.

Though it's true I started VERY young in this- and was even working for HOM mag at age 15 already doing layouts- I never had any family experiences of tickling growing up. My parentel units split up too soon I guess. My siblings went their own ways, as did I. Any tickling that occurred as a kid with friends was as a direct result of my own causing... and I did a lot of that. Many neighborhood kids in stocks I made as a kid. I always had a knack for making anything. Beach scenes were a favorite... I even had the presence of mind back then to photogrpagh it all (who knows why?)...and have those pictures to this day (shown to those that attend parties here). Even once locking my 8th grade homeroom teacher in one of my first sets of stocks for a colonial day at school (yes, before many ask, pics of that too). TG and I have debated over whether or not to post any, even though it shows me as a kid, age 11 or 12 and up.. but thats another issue.

My point is that in many cases I don't think tickling is "caused" by any individual outside factor. I myself never had any- and I've searched my mind for years (easy to search in there, lots of room, very empty).

In my opinion, like many other "desires" in life, it's a chemical make-up in your system- just like they've discovered alcoholism is a chemical make up . Now of course you can make yourself into an alcoholic with perpetual outside emotional influences... yet some others can't stand the taste of it- so how would they ever drink? So they in turn could never become boozers. Just like some- no matter how exposed to tickling- may never have a taste for it, and in fact many hate it.

I feel bad for younger people, teens, who have these same desires and NO outlet. They think they're all alone and weird. How are they gonna speak to Mom or Pop or some stuffy old guidence counciler about tickling for Heaven's sake? When growing up, or even a teen, I wish I could have had someone to guide me... a mag to read... something or someone adult- but there wasn't anything or anyone... and tickling wasn't considered it's own "fetish" back then. My tastes were also running into severe bondage and some really great s/m scenes, with tickling as a mainstay. But still I KNEW what it was... and sure enough KNEW how it effected me- and would then, and later on, go out of my way to make things happen.

Now, food for thought: along the lines of some of the posts and how others tickling them 'turned' or swayed them into tickling later on as an adult... I wonder how many kids I did this to have turned out to be ticklers on their own?? I know of three people I knew as kids- that we tickled with- who became such to some degree. BUT... if it weren't me, then I'm sure they would have had some experience along the path in HS or College that would have produced the same effect.

Betcha there's a lot of young kids in the same boat right now.

One day, when Jeff is old and gray, in a wheelchair, on oxygen... and they're handing to him the Golden Tickling Lifetime Achievement Award... some teens are going to come up and and tell him that if it wasn't for the TMF and these very discussions (that they found when they were of LEGAL age in some archives), they would have thought they were all alone too.

KJ

 

[dvnc]

Wow! I always forget about how ALL CAPS looks like shouting t'me. No harm, mind ya, Catman. Just s'prised me for a sec.

I'm diggin' this thread, and all the great responses. I've a couple of observations, and my own piece to this puzzle to contribute.

First, officially, we're a deviancy, and not a fetish, according to the last DSM I checked. Trivia, mind ya, but there it is. Fetishistic behavior requires an object, and we, as a kink, don't tend to objectify, as a group. Now those kids who focus on one area specifically ARE in the category of fetish, but only for their focus on an appendage or area. I found this out when researchin' this while attemptin' a psych degree years ago. Never went for the degree, but dug the research. Now y'know, if y'didn't already catch it, why I've got the screenname I picked. D V N C. Just gotta sound it out, y'know? 😉

Like Kurt was so aptly notin', some of "us" are in it from childhood, while some are later turned on by an existing 'ler (and more rarely, a 'lee). Some get the bug (as it were) from us kids tickling someone, while some were the girls I dated in high school and college, who got the interest in response, largely associatively, and equated it with sexual response. Someone, Mia, I believe, mentioned my old repeated thread of association of tickling with kissing, and that's applicable here, 'cause the folks that turn to this later tend to be more focused on this as a sexual thing, and thus can't deal with our tickling a child in play, WITHOUT a sexual context. It is like kissin', at least for me, in that it's different kissin' my ma than it is kissin' my lover, etc. Those of us that were in it early sometimes get comfortable with this early, as I and others have.

I always wonder what happens/happened to the 'lees inspired by my young romances. Was that the one and only time, or did they make that recur?

As for me, I was into this as far back as I can remember. Earliest memories for this 'ler include bein' tickled by relatives, babysitters and family, and tickling my babysitter quickly by surprise as a wee lad by crawlin' under her chair. By kindergarten, as mentioned before in another post, I was playing some game another kid made up, titled "Tickle Toy Master". I still expect, someday, to hear from one of those kindergarden pals, askin' about which one I was. One lady, with whom I'm still friends, just got married. She used to be my "Tickle Toy". Bondage of a child's variety took part in games such as "war", "spy" and "cowboys and indians", and inevitably resulted in someone bein' tied and tickled, whether it was their sides, armpits or feet. Heck, such innocent tickles included friends, friends of friends, and even my step-sister. By my teens, it was more discrete, and required discretion often, as the response from it often was surprising. At that point, my step-sister was no longer someone with whom I'd play such games!

From there, I reserved such activity for girlfriends, and there were a few. Only one girl in my high school years was not ticklish, and it was a reason for my later waning interest. She was actually adorable, attractive, and kind, but sexual drives at that age are daft, and we split up. The last of my high school sweeties was one with whom I used to have a more intimate relation, and bondage remerged, as did the tickling. College was much the same from then on. Few escaped such investigations, if willing, and only one lady, much later, after college, ever complained that she disliked the bondage. Many later mentioned my awakenin' their interest that way. Funny what ripples you start, y'know?

Enough of my typin'. I'm homeward bound. G'night all!

 

[glentickle]

I love this website.

DVNC, thank you so much for the clarification between "deviancy" and "fetish." I've studied a bit of psych, and I knew "fetish" wasn't the right word, but merely using it helped me to get a handle on this thing that has always been, for me at least, a blessing and a curse.

I've been a tickler since age three, or earlier. I vividly recall my tickling fantasies from that age, which involved my mother and my sister. For me there is no difference between tickling and sexual arousal; they are one and the same. During my teens, when it seemed most boys were trying to lose their virginity, I just wanted to have a girlfriend to tickle. Until my mid-twenties I felt like a sexual deviant -- rather, I felt stigmatized like one. I still have to lie to myself (but just a little bit) in order to call it a blessing -- though this has been changing rapidly in the past few years, due almost exclusively to websites such as this one.

Tickling is an integral part of my makeup, but I don't believe it was "hardwired." That is to say, I don't think it was there at birth. My primary formative experience, however, did not involve tickling. My older sister and I used to bathe together when we were very young. On at least one occasion we were left unsupervised, and my sister, who was only playing, nearly drowned me. I have spoken with her about this a couple of times, and she remembered it as clearly as I did. She said I looked so cute with the bubbles coming out of my nose, and that's why she did it. I remember, quite vividly, the terror I felt as I was about to be pushed under: my sister, bigger and stronger, smiling and laughing, playfully about to render me incapable of breathing, while I was helpless, pleading, about to be held underwater for what seemed like way too long. I am certain (or as certain as I can be about such a thing) that this is where my tickle fetish -- er, deviancy -- comes from. When I tickle a woman, I am doing exactly what my sister did to me: taking away her oxygen, a thing that she feels some terror about, while I am laughing and playing, not heeding her desperate pleas.

As a teenager I used to tickle girls like this all the time, but as an adult I have been hit with feelings of guilt about the true nature of what I am doing. Because tickling and sexuality are so united, there is an element of rape in any nonconsensual tickling. I don't mean in the strictly legal sense, which requires entry through a bodily orifice in order to qualify for the term, but in the deeper emotional sense of being violated. I can't think of myself as a rapist; I am too much a part of society for that. But the ultimate fantasy fulfillment of my sexuality would require a fully non-consensual tickling, which would leave me with guilt far exceeding the pleasure.

While I would love merely to call my love of tickling a blessing -- and I do call it that -- I have a hard time escaping the connotations of what I believe to be its origins. Furthermore, the more I am exposed to "clinical" analysis of tickling, the more desensitized I become, the less I am able to parttake purely in its pleasure. So how do I deal with this? By trying to understand more. Maybe not the best idea, but there's no turning back. I'm operating on the faith that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm wholeheartedly grateful to all of you out there who keep posting, throwing off sparks.

glen

 

[Longbaugh]

Very Interesting

I too was repeatedly tickled by my babysitter and her friend when I was very young. Her friend would hold me down(arms over my head)and she(babysitter) would tickle my armpits, sides and stomach. On occasion she'd pull my socks off and tickle my feet. This went on from about age 5 to 9 and how many tickles I endured at their hands I can't say for sure (10-15). A few times I got to tickle her back or she would hold her friend and I'd get to tickle her feet and pits. They were both very attractive girls in there late teens and I had a crush on the one who was my babysitter. I've often wondered if this is what spurred my interest and excitement about tickling. I now like to tickle my girlfriends(when I get the chance) and watch atractive women 18-40 being tickled. I wonder if this is because I was tickled by a attractive young woman and when I could tickled her back as a child.

 

[Zechs Merquiise]

I really don't know how my fetish started. From when I was about 5, I knew that I treated tickling different from other people. There was something about it that just intrigued me. Tickle fights with my cousins, and television were probably the biggest influences. I remember watching the Ninja Turtle episode with Zack and Kaitlin being foot tickled by Don Tortelli (Mostly Zack.) When watching it, I never knew tickling could be so powerful. He used it to get information and it was also torture to the two kids. Another big influence is a Mario brother episode where Luigi was being foot tickled. Luigi was supposed to be real....super, but foot tickling had him laughing hysterically. I think my parents know of my fetish or know that I have a strong liking for it because I used to tickle neighbors, cousins and female family members ALL THE TIME when I was younger. I remember one incident with a cousin of mine when she was begging me not to tickle her feet. I paused for a moment then tickled her feet an the laughter that came out of her was unbelievable! I took her to a new level of laughter. It was only a few seconds of foot tickling and she was ready to instantley pee her pants! Tickling neighbors was always fun too. It was mostly foot tickling too. Since then tickling has always been a big part of me. I remember 5th Grade spring time. It was like TICKLE SEASON! Boys tickling the girls and vice versa. I was so happy. Currently, I'm a 14 goin' on 15 this Tuesday yr. old boy in a Catholic school and I am tempted everyday. Especially now. Girls wear shoes with no socks. One of them took their boots off exposing their bare feet today for crying out loud!! I've gotten in a few tickles on some girls, but never foot tickling or any girl I really want to tickle. Some of my friends (Male and female) know of my fetish and they're cool with it. I tell people I'm born with it. I feel like I am. Anyone else feel that way?

 

[glentickle]

Absolutely, Zechs. I think I know exactly what youfeel. What amazes me is that you're open with it, and tell your friends about it. When I was your age I kept my tickling fetish (which dvnc says is not really a fetish) a secret, and I would have been mortally embarrassed if anyone had found out -- which is a hard thing to do, when you're tickling girls all the time. So...good for you.

glen