The First Parent - Joke

[JoBelle]

The First Parent

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing God said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit, said God."

"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?" Adam and Eve asked, jumping up and down excitedly.

"It's over there," said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and he was very angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you do it?" God asked exasperatedly.

"I dunno," Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

 

[BigJim]

If God was such a brainy dude, why the hell did he leave the forbidden tree so close? Makes you wonder...........😛 😉 🙂

 

[Strelnikov]

Stress is hereditary - you get it from your kids.

Strelnikov

 

[BigJim]

And while we're on this subject, everyone make sure to check out Biggles new sig.

 

[Biggles of 266]

wow, I've got a PR department now. Jim, next time mention how handsome I am...

 

[BigJim]

wow, I've got a PR department now. Jim, next time mention how handsome I am...

You mean you really appreciate me? Awwwwwwwww........and I thought you were just using me for sex!

Touche cobber!

P.S. Now wait for the shit to hit the fan!

 

[Deleted member 2452]

not to burst any bubbles...

...or anything, but the whole adam/eve/talking snake thing was from the old testament, which is a jewish bed time story.
steve

 

[BigJim]

Re: not to burst any bubbles...

...or anything, but the whole adam/eve/talking snake thing was from the old testament, which is a jewish bed time story.
steve

What did I tell you on Yahoo, the other night Biggles? I knew someone would bring that up. Sadly, a lot of people don't recognise a joke when they see it. 🙁 😉 😛 😀

 

[Biggles of 266]

So without adam and eve there'd still be christianity as we know it today? I know they were around way before Jeebus and the rest of his posse, but without adam and eve, the world would not have continued into what it is today. Therefore, without adam and eve, there would be no modern christianity.

I thought they were the founding members of the cult, so to speak.

That's all I really have to say about this particular bed time story (religion). I'm not a theological scholar like others, so I won't get bogged down in arguments about begats and begones (what do you call a catholic condom? A Begat Begone!). The whole history of religion is kinda confusing to me, maybe I should spend more time at the Brick Testament instead of on here.

Biggles

 

[Deleted member 2452]

in the name of bealzabub

what has happened to YOUR sense of humor big jim???

actually, w/o adam and eve there wouldn't be us! that is if you are a "true believer".
and biggles, i was playing with you. sorry you didn't realize it.

steve

 

[Biggles of 266]

no worries steve, Jeebus forgives you. Demons in this man, I command thee OUT! *pushes steve backwards into the waiting arms of Jim*




















there they go! It was only a matter of time until they killed his sense of humour, lucky I got there in time to save him... 😛 🙄

 

[BigJim]

Re: in the name of bealzabub

what has happened to YOUR sense of humor big jim???
steve

I never had one. Just a large dose of insanity and an even bigger dose of alcohol.😀

 

[giggleygirl25]

mmmmmm alcohol...what fun...i get goofy with alcohol,not sure how well it goes with insanity

 

[Strelnikov]

Begat Begone, eh?

The O'Donovans

Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Rafferty. "Top o' the mornin' to ye," said the Father, "Aren't you Mrs. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry ye and yer husband two years ago?"

She replied "Aye, that ye did, Father."

"And be there any wee ones yet?"

"No, not yet, Father," Mrs. O'Donovan said.

"Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for ye."

"Oh, thank ye, Father." They parted ways.

Some years later they met again. "Well, now, Mrs. O'Donovan," the priest said. "How are ye these days?"

"Oh, very well," said she.

"And tell me," he said. "Have ye any wee ones yet?"

"Oh, yes, Father," Mrs. O'Donovan replied. "Three sets of twins and four singles -- 10 in all."

"Aye, that's wonderful!" he said. "And how is your lovely husband?"

"Oh," she said, " 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle."


Strelnikov