Mystic Monk
TMF Poster
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2007
- Messages
- 122
- Points
- 0
One day, St. Peter was sitting at the gates of heaven bored out of his mind. They were closed for the night, to keep out the riff-raff, but a young man walked up to the gates. St. Peter told him the gates were closed and the man went off on a tirade.
"Perfect! Just F'ing perfect!! I had the worst day of my life, and now this! ARRRGGGG!"
Intrigued, St. Peter asked the man his story.
"Well, I show up to work, wait wait wait, let me restart, I call in sick but my boss tells me it's really important I show up. So I do, only to find out he wants me to come in so that he can fire me face to face. I start to drive home, but my car breaks down. Did you notice it's raining down there? I walk home to my shitty apartment on the fourth floor and find my wife's clothes all over the floor, someone else's clothes too. She's naked and horrified to see me, I can smell someone else all over her. I lose it, I start throwing everything we own over the balcony, I just don't care. I shove her mother's prized dresser out the window, but a belt hanging out of it wraps around my ankle and pulls me along for the ride. Now I'm here. Thanks, you guys really had my back today.
St. Peter tells the man to chill out and opens the gates. Not a minute passes before another man walks up to the gates. Already having made one exception, St. Peter decides this is a good way to pass the time and asks his story.
"I was having the absolute *BEST* day of my life. My brother calls me on the phone, had just won the lottery. He wanted to open that business we always talked about. I call my girl up, to tell her the good news and in the moment, I popped the question and she said yes! I was out dancing and singing in the rain when all of the sudden a dresser smashes me to dust! Oh man.. what I wouldn't give to go back.
St. Peter hid a knowing smile and reassured the man that heaven is awesome and that one day, after a long and happy life, his girl would be here too. Peter shut the gates behind him and turned around to see another man standing there. He asked the man how he died, but this man didn't have an epic tale to tell, rather, he seemed quite confused.
"I'm... I'm dead?! I don't know what happend! I was hiding in this dresser..."
"Perfect! Just F'ing perfect!! I had the worst day of my life, and now this! ARRRGGGG!"
Intrigued, St. Peter asked the man his story.
"Well, I show up to work, wait wait wait, let me restart, I call in sick but my boss tells me it's really important I show up. So I do, only to find out he wants me to come in so that he can fire me face to face. I start to drive home, but my car breaks down. Did you notice it's raining down there? I walk home to my shitty apartment on the fourth floor and find my wife's clothes all over the floor, someone else's clothes too. She's naked and horrified to see me, I can smell someone else all over her. I lose it, I start throwing everything we own over the balcony, I just don't care. I shove her mother's prized dresser out the window, but a belt hanging out of it wraps around my ankle and pulls me along for the ride. Now I'm here. Thanks, you guys really had my back today.
St. Peter tells the man to chill out and opens the gates. Not a minute passes before another man walks up to the gates. Already having made one exception, St. Peter decides this is a good way to pass the time and asks his story.
"I was having the absolute *BEST* day of my life. My brother calls me on the phone, had just won the lottery. He wanted to open that business we always talked about. I call my girl up, to tell her the good news and in the moment, I popped the question and she said yes! I was out dancing and singing in the rain when all of the sudden a dresser smashes me to dust! Oh man.. what I wouldn't give to go back.
St. Peter hid a knowing smile and reassured the man that heaven is awesome and that one day, after a long and happy life, his girl would be here too. Peter shut the gates behind him and turned around to see another man standing there. He asked the man how he died, but this man didn't have an epic tale to tell, rather, he seemed quite confused.
"I'm... I'm dead?! I don't know what happend! I was hiding in this dresser..."
