Texas_Tickle
4th Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2002
- Messages
- 2,950
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http://www.seattleweekly.com/features/0237/arts-smallworld.shtml
Small World
Unclean Sweep
BY STEVE WIECKING
I knew Harry Potter was a cheeky bastard; it's the quiet ones that
always try to pull the wool over your eyes. Charming little whimsical
child, you say? Crafty little British deviant, I say.
Exhibit A: The Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom, an "innocent" toy you
can find quietly lurking on Amazon.com, accompanied by a photo of a
young boy astride the broom in a manner which he will regret the rest
of his life. The toy, supposedly meant to suggest little Harry's
magical mode of transportation, features sound effects and a "grooved
stick and handle for easy riding." And it vibrates when you squeeze it
between your legs.
Strange how many of the parents contributing customer reviews to the
site mention that their daughters keep taking the damn thing away from
the boys; several Christians have alerted me that Potter was
practicing witchcraft, but I had no idea just how dangerous and sinful
he was.
Now, yes, there are plenty of cheeky little bastards who work at
Amazon.com--hell, it's run by a cheeky little bastard--so I wouldn't
put it past any of them to have furtively constructed this threat for
their pagan amusement. But don't bet on it. It's a widely known fact
that Amazon's customer reviews are stranger than fiction.
Witness the excitement from Ashley in Texas: "My 12-year-old daughter
is a big Harry Potter fan . . . so I decided to buy her this toy. I
was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy.
Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was
surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this
magic broomstick!" Methinks Ashley Jr. will soon be the most popular
girl in fifth grade.
Twelve is, apparently, that "growing" age. Here's rapturous
astonishment from Ohio: "When my 12-year-old daughter asked for this
for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but
she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it, too! They play for hours in
her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special
effects it offers. My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too!" Big
sis, no doubt, is not too old to appreciate special effects.
A woman from that den of iniquity, New Orleans, writes to say that, at
32, she's enjoying "riding the broom" as much as her two kids ("The
vibrations, along with the swooshing sounds, make for a very magical
journey!").
Also according to most reviews, the batteries run out so very soon. I
bet they do; we all know the reputations of bunnies, but even Duracell
can't keep going and going when the demand is this feverish.
At least one adult seems to have caught on: A "toy enthusiast" from
New Jersey complains, "The broomstick has cute sound effects and
***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come
on--what were [they] thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus
2000, but with the batteries removed." Sensible woman.
Small World
Unclean Sweep
BY STEVE WIECKING
I knew Harry Potter was a cheeky bastard; it's the quiet ones that
always try to pull the wool over your eyes. Charming little whimsical
child, you say? Crafty little British deviant, I say.
Exhibit A: The Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broom, an "innocent" toy you
can find quietly lurking on Amazon.com, accompanied by a photo of a
young boy astride the broom in a manner which he will regret the rest
of his life. The toy, supposedly meant to suggest little Harry's
magical mode of transportation, features sound effects and a "grooved
stick and handle for easy riding." And it vibrates when you squeeze it
between your legs.
Strange how many of the parents contributing customer reviews to the
site mention that their daughters keep taking the damn thing away from
the boys; several Christians have alerted me that Potter was
practicing witchcraft, but I had no idea just how dangerous and sinful
he was.
Now, yes, there are plenty of cheeky little bastards who work at
Amazon.com--hell, it's run by a cheeky little bastard--so I wouldn't
put it past any of them to have furtively constructed this threat for
their pagan amusement. But don't bet on it. It's a widely known fact
that Amazon's customer reviews are stranger than fiction.
Witness the excitement from Ashley in Texas: "My 12-year-old daughter
is a big Harry Potter fan . . . so I decided to buy her this toy. I
was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy.
Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was
surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this
magic broomstick!" Methinks Ashley Jr. will soon be the most popular
girl in fifth grade.
Twelve is, apparently, that "growing" age. Here's rapturous
astonishment from Ohio: "When my 12-year-old daughter asked for this
for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but
she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it, too! They play for hours in
her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special
effects it offers. My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too!" Big
sis, no doubt, is not too old to appreciate special effects.
A woman from that den of iniquity, New Orleans, writes to say that, at
32, she's enjoying "riding the broom" as much as her two kids ("The
vibrations, along with the swooshing sounds, make for a very magical
journey!").
Also according to most reviews, the batteries run out so very soon. I
bet they do; we all know the reputations of bunnies, but even Duracell
can't keep going and going when the demand is this feverish.
At least one adult seems to have caught on: A "toy enthusiast" from
New Jersey complains, "The broomstick has cute sound effects and
***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come
on--what were [they] thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus
2000, but with the batteries removed." Sensible woman.
