The Hyperplasma Thread

[kurchatovium]

In honor of my favorite giant glowing purple friend I give you The Hyperplasma Thread. Whatever you want to know about the universe's most elusive substance. Please feel free to ask. Does it go well with orange marmalade? Is it cuddly? Can it be used to power my can openner? All these questions me and THE THREAD will try to answer.

 

[Limeoutsider]

Has it taken control of you?

 

[ShiningIce]

Does it taste like orange maramalade? Or better yet strawberry marmalade?

 

[kurchatovium]

Now offered by Kurchatovium Thread Technologies the new never before seen in the universe......Hyperplasma Marmalade. Yes now in our new Hypermagnetic jars all you do is apply Hyperplasma Marmalade to your bread and wham it instantly toasts itself. No more toasters needed and plus you get the great taste of hyperplasma which all young growing hyperdimensional beings need to grow big and strong. So buy your jar of Hyperplasma Marmalade now. Only $169 a jar.

 

[Limeoutsider]

And I suppose shipping is something like $150?

 

[kurchatovium]

Well it's actually only $149.95 and we guarantee overnight delivery. Hyperplasma doesn't stay fresh that long. Nothing worse than rancid Hyperplasma Marmalade because it generally causes hyperdimensional rift diarrhea.

 

[Limeoutsider]

And how is one suppost to contain it? Dosen't it grow?

 

[kurchatovium]

Well to actually apply it to your bread without it spreading you need the Hypermagnetic Marmalade Spreader. Now only $232 for a limited time.

 

[Limeoutsider]

What about a special container? and whats the shipping on the spreader?

 

[kurchatovium]

Well the shipping on the spreader is only $10. We do sell a Hypermagnetic Tesseract Tupperware container that can safely hold up to 16 bottles of Hyperplasma Marmalade for only $1,678. There is no shipping charge on it though but unfortunately you can only buy it at a Hypermagnetic Tupperware party.

 

[Limeoutsider]

How long before this stuff goes rancid?

 

[kurchatovium]

Well if it is kept at the recommended temperature of -150 degrees celsius it will last for up to 3 weeks.

 

[Limeoutsider]

And if it ise't, I suppse there will be a 900 line that you must call to have them come quarantine it and that would cost an addition 12,000 or so

 

[kurchatovium]

Well the best thing would be to buy the new Hypermagnetic Hyperdimensional Freezer for only $5,499.95. This way you could store all your Hyperplasma Marmalade safely. This freezer even comes with a Hyperplasma disposal unit at no extra charge when the occasional jar goes bad.

 

[Limeoutsider]

Buy a replacement cubicle when you use the 1st one for only 79.95?

 

[kurchatovium]

Sure why not I'll even throw in a Hyperdimensional Veggie Slicer.

 

[Limeoutsider]

I'll take one of each, charge it to Ice's credit card 😀
Does it have color options?

 

[kurchatovium]

I think they come in Lime Green. I imagine that might be a color you would like. 😀

 

[Limeoutsider]

That and orange 🙂

 

[guitman69]

What wine would you recomend with Hyperplasma?

 

[kurchatovium]

Personally I prefer a Merlot although Maldavian Fermented SandBeast Sweat also goes quite nicely.

 

[Admiral Trouser]

How about a Bud Light? And does it go well with fish?

AT

 

[kurchatovium]

Being an avid beer fan myself I think beer goes with anything even Hyperplasma marmalade.