The pain of pressure tickling

[dvnc]

This was mentioned in another thread (the "bondage or no" thread). What sort of ticklin' do I mean? I'm talkin' about the hard pressure, digging fingers.

They leave bruises visible the next day. Such can often hurt for days, and the markings are bad news for social purposes. Your 'lee looks like a boxer and is quickly disenamored of such play.

We see this in the West Coast Gathering events. Nearly every 'lee has complained about such. I'm just writing this 'cause many of you have yet to meet with groups, or are startin' out new at this, and all could use the reminder. Rough tickling dissuades people from playing with ANYONE. It's not just you. Those who end up bruised often don't want to play again. It happens among US, folks. Women who really, really dig tickling talk about certain 'lees that need to stay away from them. That's just sad.

There's a couple of easy defenses for the 'lees that we, as a community, should strongly support. When a 'lee says, "Ow," you're either tickling too hard, or they're too sensitive to that area you're hittin'. Either way, a quality 'ler should step it back a bit, unless you both elected for pain play. Beyond that one, simply telling your 'ler that you don't like rough touch, and won't play with anyone who hurts you that way, will do a lot for your situation.

For us 'lers, lighten the pressure, folks.

This helpful observation brought to you by dvnc

 

[tcrewme]

Totally Agree

I totally agree DVNC.
I think what happens is that for some, they haven't tickled in a while and so they get so caught up they aren't paying attention they are just trying "to fill there tank" of tickling.
Or like at gatherings you have 3-4 people tickling one ticklee and
what happens is that the 3-4 people are "competeing" to see who can get the best reaction. Well those deep kneeding thing tickles that get great reaction today look like you took a baseball to the tight the next day. Skirts and large welts do not mix...
Anyway the next time you tickle someone don't go for the kill, go for the long haul. Take it slow and easy, instead of hard and fast, because a ticklee is a terrible thing to waist...

 

[njjen3953]

Good thing to keep in mind, but...........

I agree that when a ticklee says ouch, it means ease up. On the other hand, there are ticklees, like me who get nothing from feather light touches. Light touch is ok after I get some good dig tickle, but if you start with it I may purr myself to sleep.

As for bruises, well, that is a personal preference. I know most prefer not to come away with them, but then again, most are not masochists like I am.

I think the most important thing is to listen too your lee. And lees must communicate as well. If it hurts or is too light, say so.


Jen

 

[Haltickling]

My personal experience

dvnc, you brought up a very important point here, thanks!

I have tickled about 50 women in my life, and I'm proud to say that I never left a single tickle mark on any of them. The only reason for pain on them were very sore tummy muscles on the next day, caused by the heavy laughter. I did make some mistakes when I was a still a greenhorn to bondage. Silk scarves can burn the skin, I found that out soon. I never used metal handcuffs or wire for bondage, they are an almost sure way to injure the struggling ticklee. Normal cotton ropes can cause burns, too, but I found out they're quite okay when washed with fabric softener before.

The best bondage material in my opinion are still strong but soft leather cuffs, attached by snap hooks. This way, you can free your victim when a cramp occurs, within just seconds. I gave my most comfortable pair of leather cuffs as a wedding present to a former girlfriend. She had learnt her love for tickling with me, and she had managed to get her then husband into this as well. Don't ask me how she did it though…

The only tickle mark exception I've left probably doesn't belong here, but I'll tell you anyway: One girlfriend once asked me to tie her to a tree with coarse ropes (she came out of an SM-circle), stark naked! We have large forests here in Germany, and nobody came by, but the sheer possibility that someone could pass by and see our kinky little tickle game drove her crazy with excitement. I tickle-tortured her for an hour in a Red Indian torture-stake role play, and she was one of those few achieving a tickle orgasm. The rough tree bark had left scratches on her soft back skin however, and we didn't repeat this special game.

It's all a matter of the communication between -ler and lee. I always try out the softest touch at first, which works only with the most sensitive ticklees, and increase finger pressure very slowly. Whenever I notice a sign of pain or discomfort, I'll switch to softer tickling. That's easy with victims you tickle regularly, but it's very difficult at your first session with a new victim. If you intend to get the chance to tickle her for more than just the first time, go easy on her. Don't shoot all your powder in just one night, that's what I've learnt. 😎

 

[hawkikim]

A word from a 'lee who has uttered the occasional "OW" (and has also had to figure out how to explain to her doctor, several days later during her annual physical, why she was spotted like a cheetah on her ribs & thighs - that's another story! <g>).

Believe me, I know no one means to hurt anyone during these playtimes. So, if your 'lee DOES say "OW" and you have to back off, don't take it personally. I always feel SO bad when I have to stop someone who's having fun when they get carried away (and maybe don't know their own strength...), but I also don't like looking like Rocky Balboa after a bad fight the next day!

Thanks for the thread, Dave! And a few bruises, while inconvenient and sometimes painful, ain't gonna stop me from pursuing this little - um - hobby!! LOL!

Kim

 

[tkrexx]

Just an additional note to Hal's reply: If you're gonna use handcuffs, wrap soft, well-worn hankerchiefs round the areas that touch skin BEFORE you lock them in place. I've happily done that for 15 years with no tell-tale marks or pain of any kind.

Rxx

 

[dvnc]

wow. Glad this got some replies. Hadn't gotten notice of any, and thus didn't peep here all weekend. Thanks for the agreement, all.

Double bonus thanks to Jen for contributing a perspective I didn't know. I dig it when I get something back from this place. It's refreshin' for us old guys. 😉

dvnc