General Zod
Level of Triple Jade Feather
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2001
- Messages
- 70,462
- Points
- 0
Got this from a scale model site I belong to
The Purina Diet:
The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond
like this?...
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena my wonder
dog, at Wal-Mart and was in the check out line. A woman behind me asked if I
had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired with
little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't, I continued,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I awoke in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
However, I did lose 40 pounds on the diet, so I was giving it another go. I
told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is you load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The ?food is nutritionally complete and I needed
to lose a few more pounds. (I have to mention here that practically everyone
in the line was, by now, enthralled with my story.) Horrified, this woman
asked if I ended up in intensive care because I'd been poisoned by the dog
food. I told her no, it happened because I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit both of us. I thought the guy behind her
was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!
The Purina Diet:
The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond
like this?...
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena my wonder
dog, at Wal-Mart and was in the check out line. A woman behind me asked if I
had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired with
little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I probably shouldn't, I continued,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I awoke in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
However, I did lose 40 pounds on the diet, so I was giving it another go. I
told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is you load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The ?food is nutritionally complete and I needed
to lose a few more pounds. (I have to mention here that practically everyone
in the line was, by now, enthralled with my story.) Horrified, this woman
asked if I ended up in intensive care because I'd been poisoned by the dog
food. I told her no, it happened because I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's ass and a car hit both of us. I thought the guy behind her
was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard!
