For the Silly Thread! LOL
Simply Silly Sayings,
Dain bramaged. <----- yes, this is back asswards!😀
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Danger! Attention span exceeded!
Dark is faster than light, otherwise you would see it.
Dead owls don't give a hoot.
Death is hereditary.
Defend the right to keep and arm bears.
Democracy is too good to share with everybody.
Department of Redundancy Department
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Desperately clinging to Utopian illusions.
Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Did you ever sit back and evaluate your life and think, "Wow, things are going just as I always wanted them to?" I didn't think so ... me neither.
Did you ever notice that a human baby doesn't walk until it's tall enough to reach a parent's hand?
Did you ever notice that people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
Did you ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
Did you ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. Naive
Did you really think Mr. Rogers wanted you or me as a neighbor?
Dijon vu ... the same mustard as before.
Discourage inbreeding. Ban country music.
Do it right the first time, and maybe I'll let you do it again.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Don't ask the question if you cannot live with the answer.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Don't be afraid of opposition. A kite rises against the wind, not with it.
Don't be sexist - broads hate that.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus.
Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle.
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Don't move, I want to forget you just the way you are.
Don't play stupid with me ... I'm better at it!
Don't spit into the well -- you might drink from it later.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, foreign country, but never to guilt country.
Don`t think that you`re thinking. If you think that you're thinking you only think that you're thinking.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Don't worry about tomorrow, because you do not even know what may happen to you today.
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
Dyslexia means never having to say you're yrros.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Earth first ... We'll mine the other planets later.
Earth is full. Go home.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Editing is a rewording activity.
Education is what folks have left over after they've forgotten most of what they learned in school.
Elvis is dead ... and I'm not feeling too good myself.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Eschew Obfuscation.
Even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Even if you lead a good life, go to church and say your prayers ... You'll still go to Des Moines when you die.
Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
Every day, I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Every oak tree was once a nut that stood its ground.
Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down til the thought goes away.
Every time someone predicts the date of the end of the world, God pushes the date back a little, just to be funny.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
Everybody repeat after me ... "We are all individuals."
Everyone has a photographic memory. But, some folks don't have film.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
Everyone needs to be loved ... especially when they do not deserve it.
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Evil spelled backwards is live.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
Fax me no questions and I'll telex you no lies.
Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it!
Fight back! Fill out your tax forms with Roman numerals.
Finally 21 and legally able to do everything I've been doing since I was 15!
Filthy stinking rich ... Well, two out of three ain't bad.
First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist.
Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
For dying, you always have time.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
For Sale: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Forget about World Peace ... Visualize using your turn signal.
Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons.
Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.
Friends don't let friends drive naked.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded ... Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded
Gene Police: You!! Out of the pool!
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
God gives every bird it's food ... but he does not throw it into it's nest.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
God must love stupid people, he made so many.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind, I will live forever.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.
Gone crazy ... Be back shortly.
Good fortune will find you, provided you left clear instructions.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Goodbye, tension ... Hello, pension!
Graduate life -- it's not just a job, it's an indenture.
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
Gravity ... It's not just a good idea. It's the law!
Gravity kills.
Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Guests who kill talk show hosts ... On the last Geraldo.
Had you gotten up early, you wouldn't have needed to stay up late.
Half the people you know are below average.
Ham and Eggs:
A day's work for a chicken.
A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Hang up and drive.
Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Happiness has one great advantage over money. People don't try to borrow it.
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.
Happy memories never wear out ... relive them as often as you want.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now.
Harsh words break no bones, but they do break hearts.
Have you noticed, since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFO's like they use to?
Have you seen Quasimodo? I have a hunch he's back!
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
He who dies with the most toys ... is nonetheless dead.
He who hesitates is not only lost ... but miles from the next exit.
He who hesitates is probably right.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who loses money, loses much. He who loses a friend, loses more. He who loses faith, loses all.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Heart Attacks: God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Heck is where people go who don't believe in Gosh.
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
Help wanted, telepathy: You know where to apply.
Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.
Hindsight is an exact science.
History repeats itself anyway - plagarism saves time.
hoket on foniks werked fur me
Home is the place where we grumble the most, but are often treated the best.
Home is where you can say anything you like, because nobody listens to you anyway.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk if you're ontologically alienated.
Horn broken. Watch for finger.
How can I be overdrawn? I still have checks!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands ...
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
😀
