The Stocks Get An Airing.........

[BigJim]

My stocks had been sitting in the garden, with the wood preserver drying in the sun when my neighbours 17 year old daughter came into their garden and ohh'ed and ah'ed over them. Her parents were soon out too and she asked if she try them. (Putting me in a slight quandry no?) As she hopped the fence her dad disappeared inside for a damn camera!!!
When my vision cleared she was bending over the stocks and looking at it like a kid with a new Fisher Price toy. "Ooooooh, what does this button do?" As she sat behind them she said, (I swear to God I'm not making this up) "Oh I don't want to ruin my sandles" and kicked them off. ******************** (Cue instant palpitations!)
She flopped in the stocks and I locked her wrists and ankles in place and shoved the locking bolts home, while her dad took snapshots. If she hadn't been wearing socks,I think I'd have lost all self control! Two minutes and lots of muffled squeaks and grunts while she tried to see if she could escape, the little episode was over.
I immiediatley went inside for the first of three cold showers! LMAO

 

[merkaba]

OMFG!!!!!!! How did you restrain yourself?!!!
I would have been like....

 

[shark]

This looks like a teaser for your upcoming video.Who said you needed a campaign manager?

 

[Alex Warfield]

......I.........It, it's.........It's just.......Damn!

 

[Deleted member 2452]

it's called restraint!

i am glad you restrained your self, and didn't tickle that child!
esp. with her father taking pictures! can we say "evidence"?
also your friendship with your neighbors would have been ruined, and not woth it.
now if her mother would have put herself into the stocks, that is a different story!
steve

 

[milagros317]

My stocks had been sitting in the garden, with the wood preserver drying in the sun when my neighbours 17 year old [italics added] daughter came into their garden and ohh'ed and ah'ed over them. Her parents were soon out too and she asked if she try them.
[some deleted]
When my vision cleared she was bending over the stocks and looking at it like a kid with a new Fisher Price toy. "Ooooooh, what does this button do?" As she sat behind them she said, (I swear to God I'm not making this up) "Oh I don't want to ruin my sandles" and kicked them off. ******************** (Cue instant palpitations!)
She flopped in the stocks and I locked her wrists and ankles in place and shoved the locking bolts home, while her dad took snapshots. If she hadn't been wearing socks,I think I'd have lost all self control!
[some deleted]

Next year, she will be 18. Restrain yourself until then, and perhaps you will have the opportunity to restrain her again when she is an adult.

 

[BigJim]

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!

LOL Thanks guys, I think I showed remarkable restraint, considering my proclivities. I'd never have tickled her in "that" way, but I could probably have sneaked a quick tester in without it looking strange. However, as you say, it's better to steer well clear. 😎 She's 18 this year by the way, and she has more "experience" in the last year than I've had in the last five. RASSAFRASSIN...RICK RASTERDLY.......LMAO
She isn't on my list of potential video stars anyhow; I think it'd definatley look out of place to make that sort of offer to someone I know so well. Shame really, because she's got looks to die for and as far as I know is quite ticklish.(According to her brother anyway.)
By the way Shark, even a genius like myself needs a campaign manager, even if only to remind me not to always be so humble. *hands Shark a brown envelope stuffed with $100 bills*

 

[strtbottomjim]

OK, now THAT was funny 😀.

Reminds me of the old joke about two parents who find a huge stash of S&M magazines in their 10-yr-old's bedroom...mom says to dad, "what are we gonna do about this?", dad says "dunno, but we sure as heck better not spank him!".

 

[Oddjob0226]

Now, this is just ME talikng here....

But once she was in those stocks, I would have jokingly said something like.... "And this is waht we do to trespasers..." and tickled her playfully for three or four seconds. I think the parent's might have gotten a kick out of it too, and, paranoia aside, it isn't illegal to tickle some who is 17. Well, maybe in Communist England, where you guys eat snails and have penguins on your tellys and let bulls chase you through the city streets and crazy stuff like that..... uh, that is England, right?

Anyway, afraid of getting "caught" re: your interest? Let's review: You have a pair of stocks in your backyard, a teen girl is locked into them and her dad is taking photos...... tickle, don't tickle would it really matter at that point? The only way things could have been worse was if it was raining......

 

[mysterytic]

Better bring them in out of the weather

You will not want to wait until she is 18 to bring them inside, out of the weather. Start storing them in the basement and when she asks about their disappearance, tell her they were sent out for repair. After her 18th birthday you can tell her they are in need of testing to check out the repair job. The rest is up to you, you lucky devil. 😀

 

[BigJim]

Now, this is just ME talikng here....

But once she was in those stocks, I would have jokingly said something like.... "And this is waht we do to trespasers..." and tickled her playfully for three or four seconds. I think the parent's might have gotten a kick out of it too

Damn! Why didn't I think of that?!?!?!?

Oh by the way OddJob, that was Scotland you were thinking of, not England. LOL😀

 

[Oddjob0226]

Ha! Scotland! That's what I was thinking of! That's right.... Scotland, England, both separated by the Seine.... Thank God for the American public school system!

You probably didn't think of the alternative (a brief but utterly harmless tickle) because of nerves, being flustered in the situation and all. Believe me, it happens to all of us! A perfect opportunity missed simply because we can't belive the opportunity is occuring, and then we get a little nervous....

Hmmmm.... but she's 18, now, eh?