The worst gift thread

[Timewarp]

Greetings and salutations.

Timewarp again and you know it's only 2 days to Christmas (or less if this becomes an older thread) and i'm just here to procure my list for the worst gift ideas for the holidays. Under no circumstances should you even consider these gifts, unless you hate this person in which case feel free to give with glee.

10. Office Supplies - I doubt we all know someone who lives, eats and breathes excel spreadsheets but I doubt even they would like to receive a box of staples and graph paper, especially if it's 15 x 20 not 12 x 9.

9. Nik Nacks - You know what I mean. Those useless trinkets like a basket of thimbolls or tiny gnome figurings or plastic clips. Oh sure they looked cute at first. I'm sure they'll look even better at next months garage sale.

8. Stuff made before 1999 - Seriously, who's still jonesing for a tape player, velvet record or sewing machine?

7. Hygiene products - "Merry Christmas. Now go clean your funky ass". Nuff said.

6. Coupons - " I couldn't afford your gift this year. But with Coupon i got outta the newspaper i'm sure you can barely afford it".

5. Exercise equipment (Does not apply to work out buffs) - The last thing you want to be reminded is how fat your ass has gotten over the last few months.

4. Ties and other useless clothing articles - No one wanted them on father's day, not on their birthday and not on Christmas. Get the hint?

3. Gift card - Wow a 20$ card with no benefits, I still pay tax and I have to pay the difference. How did you know how much I hate you!

2. Card - Wow paper from the Hallmark spew master machine. Now to put it straight in the trash.

and finally, the worst gift to ever have been created or be created ever.

1. Fruitcake - There is no fruit or cake. Prepare to die!

Well Merry Christmas to all and feel free to add to list as I can't think for you all the time.

 

[MistressValerie1]

I love your list :super_hap I'd add free stuff like drugstore calendars, and items which are obviously second-hand (other than collectibles).

 

[Big_Dogg85]

I'd like to point out that in most cases, I agree with you on the $20 Gift Card... but when you are a student paying all your hard-earned money, incl. Christmas bonus, to always rising tuition, school supply and book fees like I am (GOOO ONTARIO!!! >_<) frankly, a $20 Gift Card increment is just about the max I can afford. Good thing I use it for cheap things, like movie rentals, fast-food, and in the case of Canadians, TIM HORTONS. (When coffee is about a dollar and a bit, twenty goes a long way).

Otherwise, I am in complete agreement. A frozen fruitcake makes a great curling stone, as I have tested recently. 😀

 

[Cbarton]

I always liked Johnny Carson's line about fruitcake: "You know, of course, there is only one fruitcake. It's been around for about 100 years and just keeps being given over and over to people as a gift..."

 

[kopfhorer1]

Greetings and salutations.

Timewarp again and you know it's only 2 days to Christmas (or less if this becomes an older thread) and i'm just here to procure my list for the worst gift ideas for the holidays. Under no circumstances should you even consider these gifts, unless you hate this person in which case feel free to give with glee.

...

8. Stuff made before 1999 - Seriously, who's still jonesing for a tape player, velvet record or sewing machine?

Oh, I dunno. Some old punk, psych-rock, funk or jazz vinyls (or CD versions of same) wouldn't be out of line for me. (Velvet record? Did you mean The Velvet Underground?) As for cassette tape decks, I have two (including a funky 1978 model which I found in the trash and fixed up), for doing tape-to-hard-drive transfers and listening to whatever obscure music tapes or books on tape I get from the library, from garage sales, or the used book shops (they're really cheap now!).

The worst gift I've ever gotten of late is one of those Hickory Farms assortment packages. The smoked cheese isn't so bad, but that inedible, chemically-laden "summer sausage"...

 

[ParanoidChant1]

Have you ever gotten weights as a gift when your family know full well that you're not athletic?

Thanks for the hint, grandma...

 

[likeasong1]

Well, I got to admit, Timewarp, that I'd love to get a tape player.

 

[CellarDweller]

worst gift.....I once got a Chia Pet.


lmao