This is serouis

[Machinehead]

I have a friend that may have been raped. She told me that she and some guy where kissing and then she wanted to go home. she said he would not start the car until they had sex. He told her this a couple of times. So she had sex with him so he would start the car. So he did and she went home. Now he refused to start the car and she did not want to have sex with him. But she still did. Does that count as rape. Both people are over 18.
I want to hear your what you think.
Please I need your help. Please replky. Do not Delete.
Later

 

[qjakal]

Yipes...

I think you/she need to consult some professional sources rather than the TMF...Q

 

[primetime]

yeah, leave this to professionals. but in my opinion, i think that would be rape. the guy made her do something she didnt want to do. it is assholes like that piss me off. i hope he gets sent away, then have him deal with his type of propostion in prison.

 

[Machinehead]

Hey Listen I needed to here what all of you think. I think it was a good place to post cause the people it involes would never post here. But There is more to the story. The girl is kind has sex alot. But this time she told me she did not want. So I am jam I need to hear what you think about that.

 

[Dave2112]

Sounds to me like the friend should be consulting professional on this one. Even though consent was arguably given, it was technically under duress. A condition for her safety and/or well-being was placed on her having sexual intercourse.

I understand that you'd want to confer with trusted friends here, but you really need to speak to the authorities, and do it now.

 

[shark]

Definitely have her consult legal authorities on this one.While he wouldn't start the car,it doesn't sound like she was incapable of leaving out through the passengers' side.However,she may have been afraid enough not to realize this,or was otherwise kept from escaping,
like electric locks.

It doesn't matter if a woman is the easiest thing on earth or a nun,no means no.A guy in Pittsburgh a while back and 3 guys in Massachusetts were all convicted of raping prostitutes.If force or use of stress are present,a rape is a possible legal charge.

 

[Myriads]

What you describe is sex through coercion. The male used the threat of leaving the female far from home with no ride as a way to coerce sex. Rape is often defined as sex through coercion (Physical, mental, or emotional) Your locality will make the difference. Consult the local laws.

In any case, if this is something that she is feeling upset about, she should quickly see local councelors and go from there.

Myriads

 

[MadKalnod]

Go to the authorities! The sooner you go, the more evidence may be collected to nail this filth, before he does it to someone else.

He must know pain, he must know fear, and then he must die.

 

[kurchatovium]

No means no. Go to the authorities.

 

[Ayesha]

Absolutely go the the authorities. If this guy thinks he can get away with it he may do it again and again. Who knows how many women he has also done this too in the past who weren't sure what to do about it afterwards. I've never been raped, but I've come close many many times. I never did anything about it...I appreciate I should have done but I always felt like it was partly my fault that I got in the situation in the first place, and that maybe I wan't clear enough that I wan't interested. This girl may have willingly got into the guy's car, but it should not have meant to him that she was up for it. He threatened her...therefore in my eyes, it is definately rape.

Ayesha.

 

[giggledude]

How terrible for your poor friend. The refusal to start the car seems like the action of someone being careful to stay (what he perceived to be) just on the safe side of the line. Whether or not it's technically rape, assuming that the inference that she was or might be in some danger was correct (presumably they were in an isolated location if he were coercing sex in the car from her), it certainly seems like a case for the authorities. Even if he can't be nailed for this incident on its own, her coming forward may be useful evidence in another case, or at the very least might scare him out of trying it again (doubtful, but one never knows).

 

[Machinehead]

There is another probelm the guy that raped her is also a friend of mine. But I have not talked to him since she told me.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

3 choices

take the girl bythe hand, and lead her to the nearest police station.
tie him up, give her a baseball bat,and have her break his knees.
forget about it.
but what you yourself can do, tell him you know about what happened, and you will having nothing to do with him hencefort.
many states have different laws, reguarding what constitues rape. so the best answer is use the ball bat.
steve

 

[ShiningIce]

Well here I go agreeing with Areenactor again! except after hes throttled soundly with the bat may I recommend castration with a butter knife

 

[WallStreet]

Unfortunately for this poor girl, any qualified lawyer will make swiss cheese out of her story. The fact that she was alone with the guy and was admittidly kissing him will give any decent lawyer enough rope to hang her with. It's sad but true.
I have two pieces of advice for this girl:
First- hopefully you've learned a valuable lesson
Second- Have a brother/father/friend beat the living shit out of this guy. Areenactor is correct about the baseball bat.
Ayesha made the most important point of all. When a girl is raped and fails to report it she endangers all future girls that this creep may get his hands on.

 

[shark]

I would also recommend ditching the guy's wallet so it looks like robbery was the motive.LOL

 

[redway10]

Deathwish V?

On occasion, we all dream of getting revenge on those who have wronged us (even better, those who have wronged someone else).

There are 2 schools of thought here, contact the authorities and / or deliver justice yourself. I am not a pacifist, but a rape victim (or most victims for that matter) SHOULD NOT seriously be encouraged to seek retribution through violence. It could certainly backfire.

 

[maverick83]

Gotta disagree there, redway. Personally, if someone takes any violent action against me and shows no sign of remorse, I WILL retaliate with violence. Backfire? I'll see that it doesn't.

As for whether or not the incident qualifies as rape, it's a very shaky question. You can make arguments for both sides. I'm pretty sure (although I don't agree with it) that it would not qualify legally as:

1) Consent was given
2) Though I do not doubt, in any way, that the story is true, it seems to be heresay. You'll have difficulty proving anything.

It's sad that this is the way it is, and I feel a great deal of sympathy for the girl.

 

[Machinehead]

The 18 old friend of mine. Father will not speak to her and neither will her mother. Her father and mother got a divorce. Her mother beat her up. Her father will not speak to her. She also has a record with the law. But it has nothing to do with sex. I think it is grand auto theif. That is why she will not go see the cops. She is afriad no one will belive her. Besides me.

 

[Myriads]

If your friend will not persue things with the legal authorities there is really not much to be done on that side. I'd advise against vigilante action, if you land in jail for assult no ones best interests are served. I would advise that she get some counceling. Most family planning centers should be able to point her to someplace that can help.

Myriads

 

[hawkikim]

. I would advise that she get some counceling. Most family planning centers should be able to point her to someplace that can help.

Also, in many cities now there are rape crisis centers that will help her (confidentially) answer the many questions posed about this incident. (including, is it really rape)...

I (having been thru this myself) would strongly suggest she check with Planned Parenthood or the local county health department and find out if such a service/center exists in her area. She can ask them about it on the phone, anonymously. Then, once she connects with such a center, they will take all the time she needs to go thru things with her, and figure out her options. And, if she does pursue legal measures, they will "hold her hand" thru the bad stuff. (they will not give legal advice, but they do give moral support) No one besides her need ever know she is consulting with them.

Just my 2 cents.

Kimmie

 

[Bagelfather]

Rape Crisis Center contact Info

Have your friend contac these people at the Rape Crisis Center.

http://www.stoprapevermont.org/wrcc.html

The Women's Rape Crisis Center has been providing services to women, men and teens in Chittenden County since 1973. WRCC advocates are available 24 hours a day and can be reached through our hotline at 863-1236 or 1-800-489-7273. Advocates can offer emotional support, information about resources and options, and referrals for survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones.

Advocates are also available to:

meet survivors at the hospital or their health care provider's office to seek medical care after a sexual assault.

assist survivors in reporting to police and provide support through the legal process.

meet with survivors in person at our office. Survivors may set up a time to meet by calling the hotline.

The physical evidence may have been destroyed since she didn't go to a doctor right away, but that doesn't mean she cannot get help.

Even if, for whatever reason, the law cannot help she will need to talk to someone about this, a caring non-judgemental professional.

 

[kurchatovium]

I agree with Myriads, even though the guy sounds like a scumbag any vigilante like action could land you in jail and him going scott free. I think the woman in question should contact the Rape Crisis Center (the website is listed in the Baglefather post) and then she must decide if she wishes to pursue legal action. If she does not I fear there is not much you can do except continuing to be her friend and getting her through this nasty incident. Good luck my friend.

 

[BigJim]

That's a horrifying story MH, I truly sympathise for you and your friend. What you describe sounds exactly like sex by coercion. I don't know what your state's laws are, but I think I must make two points now.

This should definatley be reported to the law enforcement authorities. However you should know that sadly, there is an almost zero chance of this SOB getting convicted. From what you say there was no "physical" coercion taking place and this obviously means that there will be no physical evidence of rape or serious sexual assault. If he chose to deny that he made any such demand, then in a court of law, some smart-arsed lawyer will make hay with it. (Trust me, I have a LOT of experience with these people!)
However you must consider something very important. There is an outside chance that this is not the first time that this piece of filth has perpetrated such an act. There is also a very high chance that it won't be his last. This is why your friend has to report this. I have dealt with several sexual crimes in the past, some of the guys have been innocent, some guilty. All had one thing in common. Their details were kept on our police database and if anything like this so much as showed it's nose, then we knew just where to look.
Perhaps this guttersnipe has a file already, perhaps not.Either way, the law must know about it, even if there is little or no hope of getting him convicted for it. Nothing bad can happen to your lady friend as a result of her contacting the police; even if she does have a record herself. Everybody in the UK and the USA has unalterable rights, and she is no exception. If she is worried about them being skeptical of her story, then take the advice of others on this thread and go to the Rape Crisis Centre first. I don't think it will be very difficult to persuade someone from there to be present when the crime is reported. That will add gravity to the situation for the police because it will make it obvious that her first concern was to find help for herself, not get him in trouble. If some hatchet faced, desk Sergeant who would otherwise be skeptical of her is taking her statement, then it will make it easier for him to believe she is not a troublemaker if a professional from the RCC is there.

I should also add something about the idea of extracting retribution yourself. Does he deserve it? Hell yes! Would it make me feel good it I was the one who gave him a beating? Hell yes again! However, even though this course of action might be morally justified, it could seriously undermine you and her. No matter how much the cretin deserves to have some bones broken, it might easily leave you (or whoever) open to charges against yourself. On top of that, police might be less willing to be helpful if you take the law into your own hands. Unfair as hell I know, but that is the way some officers feel. He might deserve every ounce of pain you want to give him, but that is a VERY dangerous course of action to follow.

Good luck mate. Tell what I've said and try to persuade her to report it. Remind her to go to the RCC first and get as much help there as she can. This HAS to be reported for everyone's sake; hers most of all.

 

[Machinehead]

I justed talked to my friend a An hoor ago or so. She told she was nopt going to press charges. She said she does not want to have to go the all the things a rape victiam has to endure. I had to give you bad the news. That's all Thaxs for the support for her.