Tickling Advice please?

[meef1]

What's up gang? I've been a longtime visitor and this is perhaps my first or second time posting lol.

I have a question:

I have the most beautiful relationship with a wonderful and amazing girl whom I'm marrying next year. She knows I love to tickle her but I don't think she understands that it's a fetish of mine...I've never gotten into detail about talking about it with her (why should I?) The prob is, she doesn't mind being tickled for only about 2 seconds as she says...and then it just bothers her. She says it's because she feels like I have total control and she can't be in control of her own body. When I tickle her, she doesn't laugh...she's developed a way to hide that she's ticklish so when I tickle her, although she apparently is ticklish, she doesn't flinch, squirm or laugh...as if she isn't ticklish, which kinda discouraged me but she tells me that she is, she just doesn't like it after a few seconds.

So, I'm constantly trying to tickle her (instinctively because of my fetish) and she doesn't flinch...only rarely and when I do, she has the most beautiful laugh and reaction...she enjoys it to a point, so I'm still trying to figure out what that point is...I love tickling her feet, but she doesn't act like it's ticklish although she admits her feet are very sensitive and she doesn't like that ticklish feeling...

I guess where I'm getting at is what can I do? Because I'm left fighting this fetish because I feel it's consuming my time, and especially watching other women get tickled and me getting something out of that seems wrong in my personal opinion - and I'm more than certain that my fiance would agree if she saw me...so I kinda wanna break the habbit of watching tickle vids and stuff but I can't if my fiance doesn't feed my fetish, if you know what I mean?? I hope I don't come off as sounding like a jerk or anything like that but what would you guys suggest? Is there a way I can her to sorta react better? Coz sometimes when I tickle her feet she laughs, one time she said it tickled because she forgot that I like to tickle her...but when she's expecting it, she doesn't appear ticklish at all. How can I make those rare moments of her reacting happen more? Or am I overstepping a boundary and I should just kinda get rid of my fetish all together? Coz I will not do anything to her that she wouldn't want me to do, ya know? I love her. Any suggestions?

 

[nessonite1]

I'd say one sure way of keeping this thing from consuming your mind is to just get it out in the open. The more you try to keep it to yourself and hidden away from the person you're with, the more it's just gonna eat at you. If you've got an itch it's never gonna go away unless you scratch it, eh?
If you're like the majority of us it's not something you can just "get rid of". You can try to ignore your urges, but I doubt they'll ever really go away. You'd just drive yourself nuts that way.
You're the only person who'd be able to know exactly what the best way to aproach the subject with your girlfriend is, since you know her best. But seek the advice of those here who have done it and get some ideas. From what I've read on here the vast majority of people have had positive reactions when they finally told their secret.

 

[P[a]pi]

You don't really have to tell her if you already know she doesn't like the feeling of having her feet tickled. Basically I believe that if you are into ticking, whether you are a guy or a girl, then you have to find a partner who is into it too. I think people on this forum should be trying to meet other people from this forum. People on here shouldn't be so afraid of the personals section and just meet people in public places like a mall or whatever. It is the same as sex. Most guys like sex and they would only be with a girl who likes sex too. You like sex and tickling, so you need a girl who likes both.

Everybody who is single on this forum should be using the personals section to try and find a partner who is into tickling.

 

[banana]

Meef is going to merry his gf next year, telling him to find another gf on the forum is certainly not a good idea. She is someone he really loves.

In my opinion, you have to tell her. You may afraid that it will be strange. But since she knows you like to tickle her already, just keep telling her more and more about how much you like it, before you finally tell her it is your fetish. Focus a bit more about it is a way to enhance the trust between you and her.

I have been doing exactly what i just say. And once she asked me "what the best thing i can do to make you happy?" I made her guess, her answer was "to let you tickle me?" Then I told her "not quite, the answer is....love tickling as much as me" And now, she admit that she likes ticking, both tickle and be tickled. I've posted this before with no replys =.=

I wish you have the happiest marriage. Good luck.

 

[P[a]pi]

I just suggested that maybe the current girl he is with isn't the one because it sounds possible that she won't be willing and or able to fulfill his tickling fetish. If she can't, no matter what the reason is, then he will always be coming on this forum and wishing he had a girl who would fulfill his tickling fetish.

Keep us posted on what happens.

 

[Dude'sonfire]

What's up gang? I've been a longtime visitor and this is perhaps my first or second time posting lol.

I have a question:

I have the most beautiful relationship with a wonderful and amazing girl whom I'm marrying next year. She knows I love to tickle her but I don't think she understands that it's a fetish of mine...I've never gotten into detail about talking about it with her (why should I?) The prob is, she doesn't mind being tickled for only about 2 seconds as she says...and then it just bothers her. She says it's because she feels like I have total control and she can't be in control of her own body. When I tickle her, she doesn't laugh...she's developed a way to hide that she's ticklish so when I tickle her, although she apparently is ticklish, she doesn't flinch, squirm or laugh...as if she isn't ticklish, which kinda discouraged me but she tells me that she is, she just doesn't like it after a few seconds.

So, I'm constantly trying to tickle her (instinctively because of my fetish) and she doesn't flinch...only rarely and when I do, she has the most beautiful laugh and reaction...she enjoys it to a point, so I'm still trying to figure out what that point is...I love tickling her feet, but she doesn't act like it's ticklish although she admits her feet are very sensitive and she doesn't like that ticklish feeling...

I guess where I'm getting at is what can I do? Because I'm left fighting this fetish because I feel it's consuming my time, and especially watching other women get tickled and me getting something out of that seems wrong in my personal opinion - and I'm more than certain that my fiance would agree if she saw me...so I kinda wanna break the habbit of watching tickle vids and stuff but I can't if my fiance doesn't feed my fetish, if you know what I mean?? I hope I don't come off as sounding like a jerk or anything like that but what would you guys suggest? Is there a way I can her to sorta react better? Coz sometimes when I tickle her feet she laughs, one time she said it tickled because she forgot that I like to tickle her...but when she's expecting it, she doesn't appear ticklish at all. How can I make those rare moments of her reacting happen more? Or am I overstepping a boundary and I should just kinda get rid of my fetish all together? Coz I will not do anything to her that she wouldn't want me to do, ya know? I love her. Any suggestions?

WELL...

I'll plug the line I've been plugging all along.

To illustrate the brilliance of the line, I shall first provide you with details of my own situation, to prove how damn right I am.

I have had two girlfriends. Both of them, at the time we first got together, did not see tickling as a kink, and were similar to your own girl, in that they liked being tickled a bit but that was all.

By the end, it turned them both on, was a regular occurence, they loved it, and my second gf even begged me to tickle her more than once.

How did I acheive such a miraculous feat you ask? Well...

First of all, it seems like you're tickling her for no reason or on a whim. BIG NO NO. This, before you have gone through the stages below, is just annoying for most people. You have to put tickling together with other specific activities and with specific attitudes.

And above all you have to do it confidently and with assertiveness! :happy:

The line I have been giving all along is that it's ALL ABOUT ASSOCIATION!!!
Mental association that is.

Now of course I'm a domineering bastard, so I did such things as (keep in mind this is all in a positive, fun context): when they insult me, they get tickled; when they give me an order, they get tickled; if they're coming over to my place and they're late, they get tickled. Also, I'll give them pop quizes now and then, and if they get an answer wrong, they get tickled!

That's stage one: You have to make it fun. They'll begin to associate tickling with a fun dom/sub relationship, and will even go to lengths to induce it themselves by purposefully making fun of you etc. Obviously the above examples are just things that I do and won't work with everyone, but the point is you have to find someway to make it fun and a game.

Right, now for stage 2: making it sexy. Once tickling is fun for them, you can do it as part of foreplay. Say something like, 'Remember when I said I'd have to punish you earlier...?' Hehe. If you do this, along with other kinds of foreplay and other forms of sexual activity, then over time they'll learn to associate being tickled with being turned on, feeling sexy and getting pleasure.

Over time you can increase the degree to which tickling is part of foreplay, and eventually do the whole 'tie them up and REALLY punish them 😀 ' thing.

They don't tell you whether they enjoy tickling or not, YOU *MAKE* THEM LIKE IT!!! :wooha: :weird: 😀

Where's your testasterone man?!! lol :happy:

Good luck!

Be assertive!

Rock on!

EDIT: As for the question of when you open up and tell them it's such a big turn on for you (I try and avoid the word fetish; it has bad connotations for some people), I generally wait until after the stage when I've tied them up and given them a tickle-orgasm-sex fest. That way they normally just say, "Well yeah I figured." lol.

Rock on again!!

 

[tkmanx]

i love that idea. and its exactly what i did. my current gf loves to softly slap me on my head a lot, so in return i tickle her. she began to love it after the numerous times she found herself in tickling situations. now she loves it more than i do. she even wears clothes sutibale for tickling(such as a pair of jeans and a bikini top or a really low cut shirt with her belly and under arms exposed) just so i might tickle her a bit. but me aside, u should try the instructions on the post above. i srue helped me a lot. 😀 😎

 

[Dude'sonfire]

i love that idea. and its exactly what i did. my current gf loves to softly slap me on my head a lot, so in return i tickle her. she began to love it after the numerous times she found herself in tickling situations. now she loves it more than i do. she even wears clothes sutibale for tickling(such as a pair of jeans and a bikini top or a really low cut shirt with her belly and under arms exposed) just so i might tickle her a bit. but me aside, u should try the instructions on the post above. i srue helped me a lot. 😀 😎

Yes! Thank you! 😀

 

[meef1]

Thanks for the advice guys. I think Dude'sonfire has something there, thanks man 🙂 I think I've been trying that to some degree but I'll try to reevaluate my approach on that. I like what nessonite and banana had to say on the matter, too. The point is, I'm not going to back down from this girl over something as trivial as my fetish. It's only not even one-tenth of the person that I am ya know? I have a whole life during the day that doesn't involve my little secret..but it's one that always happens to catch up to me sooner or later so that's why I'm sorta stuck at the moment...but I can tell you that without a doubt this girl is the one I'm going to marry - and it's for keeps. I know that sounds a bit too confident for the statitistics that the world has today on marriages but I'd like to think I'm not bound to any statistic ya know?

I think my fiance knows I have a thing for her feet - she sometimes brings it up and asks me why I like them so much. She kinda likes it because she had a self-image problem growing up and she always found her feet ugly so the fact that I like them is a relief on her part. lol I dunno.

Mustang, I'm interested in knowing how you backed into a situation that involved you being high and getting to tickle a girl's feet in a bar with her boyfriend sucking her toes and stuff? Was your wife just watching you for that whole hour?

To me, personally, tickling is one of the things I'd like to keep with my fiance and myself. I told my fiance that I find tickling to be sorta personal and that it would bother me greatly if any guy tried to tickle her. Just the same, I practice what I preach. I don't tickle anyone nor do I let anyone tickle me. A poke on the side or something is fine for either of us ya know? Something friendly and simple is cool - but I mean like someone holding another person down and tickling them, that's something I would not let anyone do to my fiance nor let it be done to me.

To each his own of course, I'm just sharing my personal take on how I handle it...which is why it bothers me that I get into looking at these videos. I mean yeah it's not horrible - I don't ever look at porn, but the result is the same, ya know? 🙁 I feel so mixed up.

 

[Dude'sonfire]

Thanks for the advice guys. I think Dude'sonfire has something there, thanks man 🙂 I think I've been trying that to some degree but I'll try to reevaluate my approach on that.

...

To each his own of course, I'm just sharing my personal take on how I handle it...which is why it bothers me that I get into looking at these videos. I mean yeah it's not horrible - I don't ever look at porn, but the result is the same, ya know? 🙁 I feel so mixed up.

First off, thank you :happy: and good luck.

Heh I was reminded in a recent and similar thread to this that my fervent 'take control of the situation' attitudes are not universally understood or applicable lol, but I'm glad that despite this I could still help in some way.

As for your mixed up feelings... don't worry about it. Just relax, and you'll find your answer.

Remember the golden rule:

Self Control.

If you can rule yourself, everything falls into place.

Rock on. :happy: