Tickling Myths and Misconceptions

[Jamesplaining]

Have you ever talked about your tickle fetish to a vanilla person and found he/she had clichés about it, like «I thought tickling was THIS but now I realized it’s THAT»?

What are the most common misconceptions about tickling you came across so far?

Also, is there in your opinion any myth or misconception among people in the community?

 

[milagros317]

The most common misconception that I've seen is that the fluffy end of a feather is the best tickling implement.

 

[aberdeen]

That tickling and an association with sex or sexual activities is a given or 'automatic' association !

I refer to having a tickling fixation, bec it is a fixation of which I am very aware of and enjoy , but does not have to involve sexual activity in any way to be fulfilling for the positive nature of the fixation ( ie taking a Lee from zero to the maximum levels of ticklishness, in various ways...slow and relentless, abrupt assault of some known spot....enjoying the exploration and process of it all and seeing, hearing and feeling the subject go thru the various stages of ticklishness until they are ultimately a gasping, sweating wreck !
You may enjoy being on the receiving end of a period of helpless while being driven to near insanity by a LER as well.
There is also simple tickle play that is slower and relentless but gives much satisfaction (an ASMR type experience) and crates a feeling of relaxation and mental. de-stressing and mental rebalancing (this comment from many who suffer from ASHD or on the autism spectrum and who know that tickling acts like a natural calming drug for their mind and body)

now, I realize there can be and for many there is a sexual component to their tickling enjoyment, but that is not automatic! I've been platonic tickle play partner for others and also been involved in tickling as from of sensual foreplay.

But the misconception that tickling is always a sexual thing is what has kept us from being able to treat in in a normal fashion.
If one says they enjoy massages, or pedicures, or haircuts...no one automatically assumes sex is involved. But with tickling its different--and gets hidden by society bec of the connotation that people who enjoy tickling are only interest in sexualizing the play.

In actuality. tickling is just another form of play therapy that involves touch ( a special type of touch, I will grant you)! The fact that our society is touch starved as a whole is why I believe so many on the boards (TMF, Tumblr, others) are seeking tickle play partners (and not all for extreme or intense tickling sessions but simpler amounts of gentle to moderate sensations to be enjoyed.

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

"Oh you want tickled? That's easy. I can do that."

Being a Ler is NOT easy. Being a lee is also not easy. There is so much that goes into tickling that vanilla people will never understand. And I do not have the patience to explain anymore haha

Also, I once told a kinky person (they do not have the tickling fetish) & their response was " Oh. Tickling. Okay. You like being tickled. What do I get out of it?"

I'll stick to the tickling people... you all are the only ones that understand me! 😊

 

[Jamesplaining]

"Oh you want tickled? That's easy. I can do that."

Being a Ler is NOT easy. Being a lee is also not easy. There is so much that goes into tickling that vanilla people will never understand. And I do not have the patience to explain anymore haha

Also, I once told a kinky person (they do not have the tickling fetish) & their response was " Oh. Tickling. Okay. You like being tickled. What do I get out of it?"

I'll stick to the tickling people... you all are the only ones that understand me! 😊

Personally I think that even though tickling someone else is easier for people already into this kink, even a vanilla person could learn how to be a magnificent tickler.

 

[tickle_maniac]

I knew someone who believed that the thinner a person is the more ticklish they are....

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

Personally I think that even though tickling someone else is easier for people already into this kink, even a vanilla person could learn how to be a magnificent tickler.

Agreed.
Nothing more frustrating, for me, than a vanilla "Ler" who doesn't know when to keep going or when you should really stop. It takes a tickling mind, years of watching tickling vids, reading stories, and doing some research!
I once played with a self proclaimed ler who tired out before I did! Oopsie lol I felt so bad & thats not the vibes I'm looking for, ya know?

 

[StoriesAndLaughter]

One misconception I keep coming across, is that tickling is always torture. That they assume that its just tickling someone non consensually repeatedly until they cant breath. Although theres nothing wrong with tickle torture, if all involved enjoy it. It just seems to be that the other styles of tickling, dont really get mentioned much. I feel any mention of tickling among most, gets pre judged. Whether through bad experiences themselves (which is understandable) or just not too knowledgeable on it.

The reality of it is there is so much more to tickling than just torture. Tickling can be a gentle, playful and sensual experience too. Its so much more fun getting to know someone, explore their body within their boundaries and work out what style they enjoy the most. Whether style, another or a mixture of many.

 

[StoriesAndLaughter]

Another misconception Ive come across a lot online. Those that arent successful in finding tickle friends in person or relationships, are branding those that are, as lucky. Especially if they arent getting instant results themselves. They come across as jealous of peoples end results, but never appreciate or acknowledge the journey it took to get there.

 

[aberdeen]

Agreed.
Nothing more frustrating, for me, than a vanilla "Ler" who doesn't know when to keep going or when you should really stop. It takes a tickling mind, years of watching tickling vids, reading stories, and doing some research!
I once played with a self proclaimed ler who tired out before I did! Oopsie lol I felt so bad & thats not the vibes I'm looking for, ya know?

NOT a fatigue issue.. I met a woman who visits this board occasionally and confided that around 10 years ago she did a session with someone she found thru the TMF .... so she said his tickling was great but he was quiet...never talked or engaged in what most of us would call the tickle teasing or tickle talk...
I said that the silence was unfortunate bec I believe that much is added by the right 'tickle talk' ... so she asked 'what would you do differently ?"
I did a quick written sort of RP , adding the 'teases and talk ' into my tickling routine...and so verbally demonstrated the difference!

she then said oh my gosh...if the guy would have done that, I would have been thrilled and gone thru the roof!

we've become online friends and she is hoping to visit in person this year for friendship with tickling benefits but does live a fare distance so scheduling is difficult for her (and work etc)

just saying that ye non ticklers may not get it...but some ticklers don't maximize their skills either (not just from this instance but from other tickling boards like Tumblr...

 

[Jamesplaining]

One misconception I keep coming across, is that tickling is always torture. That they assume that its just tickling someone non consensually repeatedly until they cant breath. Although theres nothing wrong with tickle torture, if all involved enjoy it. It just seems to be that the other styles of tickling, dont really get mentioned much. I feel any mention of tickling among most, gets pre judged. Whether through bad experiences themselves (which is understandable) or just not too knowledgeable on it.

The reality of it is there is so much more to tickling than just torture. Tickling can be a gentle, playful and sensual experience too. Its so much more fun getting to know someone, explore their body within their boundaries and work out what style they enjoy the most. Whether style, another or a mixture of many.

Another misconception Ive come across a lot online. Those that arent successful in finding tickle friends in person or relationships, are branding those that are, as lucky. Especially if they arent getting instant results themselves. They come across as jealous of peoples end results, but never appreciate or acknowledge the journey it took to get there.

I feel that way too much!

 

[aberdeen]

One misconception I keep coming across, is that tickling is always torture. That they assume that its just tickling someone non consensually repeatedly until they cant breath. Although theres nothing wrong with tickle torture, if all involved enjoy it. It just seems to be that the other styles of tickling, dont really get mentioned much. I feel any mention of tickling among most, gets pre judged. Whether through bad experiences themselves (which is understandable) or just not too knowledgeable on it.

The reality of it is there is so much more to tickling than just torture. Tickling can be a gentle, playful and sensual experience too. Its so much more fun getting to know someone, explore their body within their boundaries and work out what style they enjoy the most. Whether style, another or a mixture of many.

Yes, as I mentioned, there is a lot of variation in what people may want /enjoy as a LEE or a LER ...and as we've both said, tickling sessions do not have to involve 'torturous' levels... in my experience I had to find a way to keep my Lee's comfortable enough to keep coming back...and yet thrilling enough to not be bored and reach a level of ticklishness that stressed them far enough without them becoming 'turned off' by the experience...and I did achieve that.. I started slow and 'ramped up' but once at a certain intensity (ie 7,8,9 out of 10) I would reach 10 for a bit,,,then allow them back down but staying at a fairly high level of that 7-9 area, and go up and down as their responses occurred...
I felt like the main thing is safety and comfort with enough excitement levels to make them want to return for more....and we did !

 

[aberdeen]

Personally I think that even though tickling someone else is easier for people already into this kink, even a vanilla person could learn how to be a magnificent tickler.

Yep I fully believe that! It just takes awareness and concentration!

 

[StoriesAndLaughter]

Yes, as I mentioned, there is a lot of variation in what people may want /enjoy as a LEE or a LER ...and as we've both said, tickling sessions do not have to involve 'torturous' levels... in my experience I had to find a way to keep my Lee's comfortable enough to keep coming back...and yet thrilling enough to not be bored and reach a level of ticklishness that stressed them far enough without them becoming 'turned off' by the experience...and I did achieve that.. I started slow and 'ramped up' but once at a certain intensity (ie 7,8,9 out of 10) I would reach 10 for a bit,,,then allow them back down but staying at a fairly high level of that 7-9 area, and go up and down as their responses occurred...
I felt like the main thing is safety and comfort with enough excitement levels to make them want to return for more....and we did !

I couldnt agree with you more!

 

[U.N.Owen]

One misconception I keep coming across, is that tickling is always torture. That they assume that its just tickling someone non consensually repeatedly until they cant breath. Although theres nothing wrong with tickle torture, if all involved enjoy it. It just seems to be that the other styles of tickling, dont really get mentioned much. I feel any mention of tickling among most, gets pre judged. Whether through bad experiences themselves (which is understandable) or just not too knowledgeable on it.

The reality of it is there is so much more to tickling than just torture. Tickling can be a gentle, playful and sensual experience too. Its so much more fun getting to know someone, explore their body within their boundaries and work out what style they enjoy the most. Whether style, another or a mixture of many.

My pick for biggest misconception is closely related to this one, namely "everyone hates being tickled except a few weird masochists into having pain inflicted on them."

Tickling is an extremely intense sensation that can be difficult to process, but it's not just straightforwardly "painful." You can see that even in the many Renfaire scenes, where basically all the people put in stocks are "vanilla" and practically all of them have fun because they cooperate in the playful atmosphere (very often helped by their friends/family egging on the "capture" and tickling).

There have even been surveys done, and in fact most people are either open to tickling or can take it or leave it depending on the situation. Even those that hate it often hate it because of bad experiences (they were bullied with tickling) and can sometimes be helped to learn to enjoy it if a partner is sensitive, patient, and can slowly build up trust.

Tickling, done in a playful atmosphere, is a joyful experience even as it pushes sensory limits. Some people do want more extreme situations, and that's great if it's what both people involved want and consent to - the endorphin high from 'extreme' tickling can be a huge rush in itself, for those that want to pursue it.

It's not just "oh, tickling is torture, it's always mean and nasty and everyone hates being tickled."

 

[Zeezil]

I've got two comments here, first for vanillas, and the second for us.

For vanillas, I think the biggest misconception is that tickling is some sort of affliction to be fixed. Or that if you're accidentally tickling someone, during a massage, for example, that you must immediately stop and change what you're doing. Nothing drives me crazy more (in a bad way, I mean) than when I do a search for videos on tickling in massage or in a medical setting and the medical practitioner or the massage therapist stops or changes their technique when the client/patients starts laughing. If they're wincing or cringing because of PAIN, that's just fine, they gotta power through it and they just keep on going but HEAVEN FORBID they elicit a giggle during, say, an abdominal exam or foot massage. "Stop everything! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I'm tickling you, I will change what I'm doing immediately." Dude, just keep going and do what you gotta do. Except in extremely rare cases, pain is worse than tickling. Now, if the patient is doing a wince or it's clearly an extremely uncomfortable kind of tickling, that's a different story of course, but jovial laughter, which is what it almost always is, COME ON. JUST KEEP DOING THE PROCEDURE, LET THEM LAUGH. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO UN-ALIVE THEM. lol

Man does that grind my gears. Or videos that say things like "how to cure ticklishness" or "how to stop being ticklish during a pedicure." NO, JUST STOP! LOL

Second for us, the biggest misconception, which I incorrectly held for years, was that if someone was ticklish, especially very ticklish in front of other people, that they surely were "one of us." That's almost never the case. Ticklishness and extreme ticklishness does no correlate with being turned on by it, believe me. In all my life, and I'm old, trust me, I've only come across maybe three people who I could sort of tell where "one of us" after their ticklishness was discovered. That's out of hundreds of tickling situations I've been in. I've said it many times on this forum: Our fetish is a rare one.

Anywho, my two cents!

 

[natscott6282]

Personally I think that even though tickling someone else is easier for people already into this kink, even a vanilla person could learn how to be a magnificent tickler.

I have been working with someone on a detailed instruction manual for this which I will publish v soon hopefully

 

[milagros317]

I have been working with someone on a detailed instruction manual for this which I will publish v soon hopefully

I would love to read an instruction manual on how to do those very in depth and methodical tickle tortures that you used to do.
Please provide a link on the TMF to purchase the manual when you have finished it.

 

[natscott6282]

I would love to read an instruction manual on how to do those very in depth and methodical tickle tortures that you used to do.
Please provide a link on the TMF to purchase the manual when you have finished it.

definitely and i dont think u will necessarily have to purchase it i just need to get around to formating and editing and posting it
also i wouldnt of been able to do any of it without @aberdeen.206732 who is like the best listener and writer