Tickling vs. Sex

[Eternal Tomboy]

Stop me if this thread is too personal, but I feel that I've bared my soul to you guys already, so I didn't think too many of you would mind if I dug down a littler deeper....

I was just wondering how many of you thought about sex (and I mean that in the most vanilla sense of the word) during adolescence. In other words, did you lose your virginity early or late? I can say with little to no exaggeration, that I NEVER thought about sex while I was in HS. Never. Is that weird? All I thought about was where my next tickle was coming from (and back then there was plenty!) I saw my other girlfriends going 'around the bases' with the guys they were dating, but I never got the urge to follow suit.
Even now as a married adult, I can say that I've never had a 'vanilla' sex dream or even any sex fantasies. I'd even go one step further and say that if my doctor said that I could never have sex again (speaking only of intercourse here) that I wouldn't shed too many tears.
Is that totally weird or what? I got to thinking, what the hell is the matter with me?! I'm a woman nearing 30 (supposedly nearing my sexual peak) and still don't think about sex like most of the women that I know. Speaking completely honestly here, it makes me feel kind of immature....like I never developed the right feelings where sex was concerned.
Now, on the other hand, if my feelings, thoughts, or fantasies involving tickling, I have NO problem getting all hot and bothered! I realize that this is the case for most (if not all of us here), but shouldn't the other feelings be there too?
Just a question......

Maggie

 

[qjakal]

30?

Okay, I'll beat the TMF women to it...30 is NOT a womans sexual peak...lol.
As for the rest, it's interesting indeed. My fantasies are also not related to vanilla sex. Need tickling/bondage/teasing to really make it an event in my REM world also... Q

 

[Darkknight]

31 and tickling thoughts always beat out vanilla sex thoughts.

And because I was a teen with hyper-crazy hormones, all I thought about was tickling. Sex? Everyone liked sex, where were the girls that loved tickling! How I daydreamed in school...

Always thought I was weird.

Wait...

I am. 😀

DK

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

Re: 30?

Okay, I'll beat the TMF women to it...30 is NOT a womans sexual peak...lol. Q

I know 30 isn't the woman's peak...I said I was nearing it. Actually, if you go by textbook definitions, 35 is a woman's peak. Who knows, maybe it'll all turn around for me in 6 years...lol! I doubt it though.

I totally forgot to add before that I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19. And even then it was more out of curiosity than desire. I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in the low sex drive (hyper tickle drive!) catagory. I really thought that even here on the TMF I would be in the vast minority on this one. Well, I guess I can say now if I'm weird, at least I have good company!

Maggie

 

[qjakal]

Well...

It's VERY tough to be weird in here, believe me! I'm sure we'll hear from a few more of "us" eventually! 🙂 Q

 

[JoBelle]

.....as I stroll into the thread nodding my head and saying YEAH, I know what you mean sweetie! To quote Mr. Q, "Need tickling/bondage/teasing to really make it an event"

Yep, that's about right. I mean...sex is sex is sex. BUT, it's something to get excited about when it's tickle sex or includes various other deviant behavior. LOL I think I've been into the kinky stuff for so long, that I just don't know any other way to get the heart rate to pick up! 😀

Vanilla sex is ok, but it just doesn't blow my skirt up anymore.
Joby

 

[LEB]

I know exactly where you're coming from on this one. I'm male, and never fanatsise about actual intercourse. As in at all. I have a g/f but we haven't had sex yet cause for whatever reason it doesn't appeal to me. Of course I like all the other stuff we do, but I just don't get any urge to have sex for whatever reason.

I suppose that would put me squarely in the weird category, not that it bothers me.

I was never popular with girls (everybody's friend, nobody's girlfriend kind of thing) and I don't know whether it's cause or effect of me never wanting sex, but there you go.

I'm wondering if perhaps I'll just come around once I've got used to the idea of having a g/f (still seems a bit weird).

Or perhaps once I try it I'll really like it or something. Maybe I've spent so long fantasising about foreplay and tickling that now I've got it I'll move on to sex, or perhaps it's been so long I'll be stuck here.

Although I suppose it's better to not particularly want it, but be able to if I need rather than desperately want it and not be able to stop myself trying to get it.

LEB

 

[tickler29]

Now that you mention it, I was the same way. Always thinking about tickling someone, and wondering when my next opportunity would be.😛

 

[ShiningIce]

I never did and still dont have a desire to have sex. All I wanna do is tickle, my friends dont believe me though........*sigh*

 

[Travis]

Now, on the other hand, if my feelings, thoughts, or fantasies involving tickling, I have NO problem getting all hot and bothered! I realize that this is the case for most (if not all of us here), but shouldn't the other feelings be there too?
Just a question......

Maggie

This is a very, very good question and something I've been wondering about myself pretty much ever since I realised I had this...interest.
It seems that sex in itself, or at least the idea, doesn't really do much for me either. At least, no where near as much as tickling does.
And that's something of a worrying thought to a young man, when you realise your 'natural sex instinct' is subjugated to another desire.
Would it even be possible for me to have sex without some form of tickling thrown in at some part of it?
The answer it seems, is a tenative yes, but it's still a worry, and I'm pretty sure..quite weird.
Arrgh, this whole post sounds really stupid now, so I think I'll just stop here..

 

[Pluma]

My sentiment exactly daisy: I don’t recall ever having sexual dreams and at High School I was more worried about exploring my kinkiness than losing my virginity. I had no hurry and I lost it much later (more as a result of curiosity than anything else). I was aware that other kinky people, like me, could perfectly enjoy sex without intercourse, but I always thought that my disinterest for it was somewhat abnormal.

 

[emsindahouse]

hmmm

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well I have a confession.hmmm.I have always fantasied about tickling in one way or another. Since I was a child maybe it is weird, but I didn't think so at the time. I remember fantasizing about really weird crap like remember Linda Carter from the old Wonder Woman T.V series? Man...I use to dream of tying her up and tickling her when I was only eight y.o so.....I don't know about being too weird or what,but I'll tell u what I do know...........I love to tickle....😀 🙄

 

[tactillianlover]

"If she's not laughing, she'd BETTER be cumming!!!"

"Yuh damn skippy!!!"

Won't even try to explain the montage collage above.
Bear with me , I'm punchy and oh so short on attention span.Hmm...

"Dai - sy Cra -zy
Give me your answer do
Al - most thirty
vanilla a buogeous rue
no toppings in your marriage
no caramel in the carriage
Yell "Tie me down!"
dress like a clown
with a feather that's built for two" 😀


My first wet dreams were about my best friend's big sister.
I was 15 I guess ,late bloomer perhaps- not that I care-anywho,
she was about twenty and in the dream we would be out in public,
standing on a side walk near some hedges and a grassy area just the other side of said hedges. oh and the hedges were only like three
feet high(an exibitionist element? Good brain!)and we would talk
briefly, then her hands about me, perhaps a kiss, her devious smile
and then she would shove me down thru said hedge and sit on me and
pull at my clothes and viola!!! Sigh! Hey! was that nocturnal stat-
utorial? Sigh!

If there's a bustle in your hedge row, don't be alarmed now...
Actually, she wasn't wearing a bustle- how lewd!


I must have had that dream half a dozen times!!! Amen!!!

My point is the anticipation of erotica or the big payoff.
As that wascally wabbit so eloquently exclaims- it's the suspense
that gets me! I enjoyed Lethal Weapon but a zillion angles of the
same explosion pales in comparison to a real scare like Psycho!
Leathal Weapon has a storyline but the action is up down up down up down ...to be continued as we have power glitches and I'd be pissed if this was erased!

 

[tactillianlover]

Dear Daisy...

When I was in high school I had plenty of fantasy involving tickling
of course. I did not have intercourse fantasies I guess because as a virgin I wasn't having it. But In fantasy as well as dreams the point
where I'd arrived to tickle or make out or initiate...what have you,
well, that was the payoff -reaching the beginning of a "beautiful friendship" was my payoff.Actually the only 'dream'where there was more than just a hint of tickling came to me a few months ago!

The last couple of years I'd had fantasies about this woman, someone
I had been very close with. The fantasies covered Tickling, sex and then some. At one point, I would dream about her nightly. No tickling
in the dreams.

Now years later and miles apart, I have this tickle dream about her! It was simple but sexy sweet crazy cool!!! Well I'd done ecstacy a few times and I used to fantasize about her doing ex with me and all
the wild satisfying scenarios that would accompany it! And now my
only tickle dream...

We are on a dance floor together, not a rave but a small gathering.
We are amongst friends... She is standing in front of me, smiling
and looking fine ...I only see her from her belly up... and she says
to me "I'm rollin'!" refering to ex... I assume she is kidding to be a wise ass...I smirk and say "Yeah, right." Then she says "No, I'm
really rollin'!!" I think "WOW". Suddenly I'm gently circling her and kissing her bare shoulders while she giggles and coos, my face brushed with her delicious long red hair...then I'm tickle- kissing
up and down that gorgeous nape and she really starts laughing !!!

"OH-HO-HO!!! IT TICKLES!!! AH-HA-HO-HO-HO-NO!!!" Heaven.

And that's it..It wasn't wet but I sure woke up with damasscus steel!!!!

Later, Folks

 

[Iggy pop]

Tickling is an extension of sex for me. I have fantasize about having a great tickling session and having great sex. Sometimes I can fantasize about just tickling and there are times when I fantasize about just sex. However, most of the time it is tickling and sex. I lost my virginity really young(14), but after that experience I did not have sex again util I was 18. Really now that I think about the only time I think about sex is when I am not having it. The same with tickling. Recently I have been thinking about sex and tickling a lot.

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

"Dai - sy Cra -zy
Give me your answer do
Al - most thirty
vanilla a buogeous rue
no toppings in your marriage
no caramel in the carriage
Yell "Tie me down!"
dress like a clown
with a feather that's built for two" 😀

AWWWWWW....that was too cute (I've always wanted to use that smilie, and never had a reason to before..lol) Thanks for the poem TL, that pretty much summed it up for me. Of course, now that it's all summed up, I have NO IDEA what to do with it! 😕

Unfortunately, I didn't come into full understanding about my extreme love for tickling (in the sexual sense) until after I married (I am the poster child for getting married too young...I was only 23.) Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but I don't know if we will ever meet eye to eye on this subject. They say that opposites attract, but is it true for differences in the bedroom? I just don't know.

My thanks to all that replied to this thread. It certainly made me feel a little better to know that I'm not the only person out there that deals with these issues. It's probably a non-issue for those that are lucky enough to be with another tickle lover, but for those of us that are stuck half in and half out of the vanilla world, it becomes a lot harder to balance. Where to go from here....

Maggie

 

[TickleCrazy]

I love personal threads because there's nobody irl to discuss this stuff with. I'm another one like you Maggie. I don't fantasize about vanilla sex or get hot anticipating sex even when I know it will be really good sex. I get horny only if, like Q said, there's bondage with tickling & teasing. In adolescence I was totally insecure about my BD/tickling desires and lack of interest in what seemed to excite everyone else. I found out about BD/SM stuff but tickling wasn't part of it. Back then I thought those people were sick. I thought maybe I was gay, but lesbian sex felt pretty much the same. I really didn't fit in anywhere, I thought. As years went by it became evident that I wasn't going to develop normal feelings or find the magic person who would inspire them in me.

It was reasonable for a teen girl to tease and not deliver. But later, in order to grow a relationship you have to put out, or at least feel confident that you can consummate with your partner at some future point. I was a shameful deviant determined to succeed in love even if my true desires would never be satisfied. I used a clit vibrator that zoomed me to readiness despite the prospect of boring vanilla sex. I would never in a million years have imagined that I could bring BD/tickling into real life.

For years in my marriage I focused on pleasing my honey so he wouldn't feel wanderlust. He'd been really spoiled and now that he has to tie me up and tickle me he says sex is really hard work, but worth it. Before we started tickling about 2 months ago he'd never seen me actually horny. Of course, his good time is even better when I'm really good and horny. He has even tickled me during intercourse. He hasn't asked for vanilla sex since!

Thanks for creating this thread Maggie. It feels really good to share this.

 

[toyou444]

I have to put my two cents in here too!

My "fantasies" have always included tickling, not sex. I was a virgin until I met my wife at age 25 and never even, um, "self-stimulated" until 18. I never knew if it was my Catholic schooling or just my own personal bent, but sex was never that important to me. Now, as a married man, sex is a more importnat part of the relationship, but I still equate it more as an oppertunity to tickle than anything else.

I have spouted repeatedly the fact that tickling is two seperate things to me: 1) it is a fun past time that I enjoy. I like when people laugh or when they tickle me. 2) It can be a very important part of my intimate life with my wife. We use tickle play all the time and with her it is a turn on. She had a hard time understanding that for awhile. I can only be sexually attracted (ie want to actually have intercourse with) someone I am emothionally attracted to also. I could tickle the most beautiful womanin the world as voted on by the good people right here on this forum and never want to have sex with her. But if my wife (or at the time a gf) would just giggle a little while being tickled my hormones are in high gear. Sex is mental with me as much as physical...maybe more so. If my mind isn't into it then I'm not either. That's not say that the little guy doesn't get aroused during a good tickle fight! LOL! I just always felt that just because someone has a woody that doesn't mean they want to have sex! LOL! Maybe I'm the weird one...I just figured that a man can stand at attention for virtually any reason, but the desire to have sex came from the mind more than the penis.

Sorry for the rant!

~ toyou

 

[NYCity]

For me, the 2 are so intertwined, that I can't appreciate one without the other, at least not completely. Don't get me wrong, either one without the other is still fine, but still, there's something missing.

Tickling without sex, is fun, but not complete. Sex without tickling....man, that's frustrating. Kind of like being on a diet, and eating a piece of celery, while all of my dining companions are enjoying a nice, juicy steak, right in front of my eyes. I can see it, smell it, almost taste it, yet I must somehow remain seated, keep my hands to myself, pray my stomach doesn't growl too loudly, and tell myself how much I love celery.

 

[toneus79]

Hi Daisy

I am absolutely with you on this one. I have never fantasied EVER about Shagging (er I mean Intercourse). In fact (and this is where I am really weird) the whole thing has always faintly disgusted me, and I certainly cannot stand to watch any movie that features it. For instance EYES WIDE SHUT was on TV the other night, and although I throughly enjoyed watching all those lovely naked ladies (and the goddess Nicole Kidman), I had to switch it off when that orgy scene started, growling to myself "not shagging again, how boring, why isn't there any Tickling".

In real life Intercourse has been part of my relationships, but not a part I ever go out of my way to initiate. Probably explains why none ever last that long, or possibly ever begin in the first place.

The bottom line I think is that as you get older you get more comfortable with your own sexuality. The whole Intercourse ('I must make myself like it') and Tickling ('I must stop myself from liking it') caused me great anxiety when I was a younger man. Now I know where I am at, and just think Tickling is the norm, and all other aspects of sex (especially Shagging) are weird and devient.

Toneus79

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

you guys are the best!

I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear all of this guys.
Unfortunately, it doesn't change my present situation, but at least I can stop wondering things like "What the hell is the matter with me?!" and going to my obgyn to beg for some kind of hormone pill that might wake up my libido (I kid you not, I actually did this). I now realize that there is nothing wrong with my libido, but rather that it just takes a different kind of wake up call to get it started.
Why the hell couldn't I have known all of this ten years ago?? It would have made for a much easier transition from adolescence into adulthood. I had NO IDEA that there were guys out there who were only into tickling and not into straight sex!! Live and learn I guess.
Oh well, no sense in playing the "if only" game. I'm just going to have to figure out a way to bring a little vanilla into my world, and a little tickling into my husband's. 😉

Maggie

 

[NYCity]

Re: you guys are the best!

you guys are the best!

Maggie

Thanks! We like to think so too!!!!

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

Re: Re: you guys are the best!

Thanks! We like to think so too!!!!

Lol...I can always count on you for a wisecrack NYC. Ya know, it's stuff like that that gets a guy into a lot of trouble around here...

Maggie

 

[NYCity]

Re: Re: Re: you guys are the best!

Ya know, it's stuff like that that gets a guy into a lot of trouble around here.

Sounds like a threat! You NYers are all alike!

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

Re: Re: Re: Re: you guys are the best!

Sounds like a threat! You NYers are all alike!

LOL....Damn straight! Besides, I wasn't threatening you. I was just casually mentioning that wisecracks like that tend to get most guys I know into trouble. 😉

Maggie