Timewarp
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,636
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Hello all and welcome once again to another riviting visit to my world of WTF. I know it's probably some weird time to post these threads but it's only when things are calm can I elaberate my pure hatred for the ignorant and contrive.
So what's this rant's chopping block item? Why it's those shows that use amature or police footage. (Note this is different from my reality TV rant, because it's actually real and I forget if I did actually made said thread).
Well anyway, I hate, hate, HATE, this type of program above all others. Even more than the news.
I mean, it's not only bad enough that the footage is actually real compared to reality TV, but some shows can make the footage either better or worse. Even worse is how they portray the interviews and even reinactments of these scenarios. But I guess right now i'm being to vauge. As always, let's disect the problem, shall we?
1. Okay the very first problem I have with these shows, the title. When animals attack, when good pets go bad, worlds wildest police chases...I mean from the get go, your expectation is rising because you're expecting something different. Something cool. Something increadible. And yet when the show wears on, you feelings sink because of the next offender I'll discribe shortly. Considering how every tape is real, shouldn't every title be, "Real life ...." or "The extreme ..... show"?
2. The next and most biggest offender is repetiveness. If you've seen one show, you've seen them all. There hasn't been any new footage since 1999, i'm serious. It's like after that year the same hundreds of tapes have been passed from station to station to fill out their roster. Because of this, the tapes lose their effectivness of the situation, making them eventually just another segment in the line up.
3. The most obvious offender is the different spins on the tapes by each show. For instance some shows can make the situation funny as hell. Others leave it as it is. And some just go out of the way to make them so outrageously over dramatic, it's embaressing to watch. I'm serious some shows in my mind can make even the simple annoyiance of trying to swollow peanut butter into a life and death situation. I've repeated the same line over in my head, just think of that over dramatic show you've watch and apply it to this short sentence. "Gerorge has just made himself a peanutbutter sandwich, and everything seems okay. Until, he begins to cough. The peanut butter isn't easy to swallow. George only has 28 hourse to drink something before the peanutbutter just naturally makes its way to the stoamch. Luckly a glass of water is nearby. With the last ounce of his strenght, he miracously picks up the cup and takes a sip. He's okay, for now". If you read that in your mind with that dramatic overtone and didn't cringe in your seat, then you just don't get it.
4. Another offender, the tapes themselfs. PEOPLE ARE RETARDS!. I've seen some clips of the most dumbest people ever that in mosr cases probably should have been removed from the human gene tree. I've seen this show called When Animals Attack. And in every example, these dumbasses decide to do the dumbest things to piss off an animal and what happens? They get attacked. And the sad part is, they were saved. Although I'm all for helping a person in need, I also believe in the Survival of the strongest therory. Let me give you an example. A women at a zoo exhibit decided the designated secondary fence was an inconviance for her and she wanted to go closer to the polar bears. So she jumps over the rail. She walks up to the main cage. Guess what happened? The polar bear grabbed her leg from within the cage. I wonder if the sign "stay back for your own safety" register with her or she was just....dee dee dee. After seeing that, the show should be renamed When Animals Attack Stupid People but they're were spared for some reason. But that's a long sentence. I'm not even going to mention police videos cause some people do get what they deserve.
5. Finally misc narrating or reinactments. There are just certain types of narrators I just can't stand. That nasaly voice 50 yr old ones, those who make puns especially women, and John Walsh. (Seriously I don't care what benefits he has done, I DON'T WANT TO HERE ANYMORE OF THOSE HORRIBLE POLICE PUNS). And then there's those interviews or reinactments. Let me just say if you ever say on tv being lighty attacked by a deer and admit you can never look at a deer the same way again...you are a f***in loser. Oh and there is just on other embarssing thing i've got to mention. Noe just a note (I'm not being sexsist or something like that, but it just proves women deep down can't take the extreme in some cases.) SO anyway this bear stumbles onto a camp and peers into a tent, This women, as she descirbes was suddenly under attack by this bear. Now she has a pistol by her side and the bear is right on top of her. You know she should use it. I'm screeming at this point at the actress say, "Shoot the f***in bear!". But she doesn't because she describes she was afraid she would hit someone else. She'S going to die and she's afraid to save herself? I got to tell you that any man in the same place would be pulling the trigger non-stop, even if the gun was empty, until either death claims either or both. ugh....you people...I swear I feel embarassed this world actually contains people this stupid.
Well it's very late now, but basiclly that's my entire rant. But i've got to say you've guys really taken a shine to my rants, at least most of the time anyway. So in submation, leave your commits where you drop...in the 6th Demension...or here. (The toll is a b**** for each demension).
So what's this rant's chopping block item? Why it's those shows that use amature or police footage. (Note this is different from my reality TV rant, because it's actually real and I forget if I did actually made said thread).
Well anyway, I hate, hate, HATE, this type of program above all others. Even more than the news.
I mean, it's not only bad enough that the footage is actually real compared to reality TV, but some shows can make the footage either better or worse. Even worse is how they portray the interviews and even reinactments of these scenarios. But I guess right now i'm being to vauge. As always, let's disect the problem, shall we?
1. Okay the very first problem I have with these shows, the title. When animals attack, when good pets go bad, worlds wildest police chases...I mean from the get go, your expectation is rising because you're expecting something different. Something cool. Something increadible. And yet when the show wears on, you feelings sink because of the next offender I'll discribe shortly. Considering how every tape is real, shouldn't every title be, "Real life ...." or "The extreme ..... show"?
2. The next and most biggest offender is repetiveness. If you've seen one show, you've seen them all. There hasn't been any new footage since 1999, i'm serious. It's like after that year the same hundreds of tapes have been passed from station to station to fill out their roster. Because of this, the tapes lose their effectivness of the situation, making them eventually just another segment in the line up.
3. The most obvious offender is the different spins on the tapes by each show. For instance some shows can make the situation funny as hell. Others leave it as it is. And some just go out of the way to make them so outrageously over dramatic, it's embaressing to watch. I'm serious some shows in my mind can make even the simple annoyiance of trying to swollow peanut butter into a life and death situation. I've repeated the same line over in my head, just think of that over dramatic show you've watch and apply it to this short sentence. "Gerorge has just made himself a peanutbutter sandwich, and everything seems okay. Until, he begins to cough. The peanut butter isn't easy to swallow. George only has 28 hourse to drink something before the peanutbutter just naturally makes its way to the stoamch. Luckly a glass of water is nearby. With the last ounce of his strenght, he miracously picks up the cup and takes a sip. He's okay, for now". If you read that in your mind with that dramatic overtone and didn't cringe in your seat, then you just don't get it.
4. Another offender, the tapes themselfs. PEOPLE ARE RETARDS!. I've seen some clips of the most dumbest people ever that in mosr cases probably should have been removed from the human gene tree. I've seen this show called When Animals Attack. And in every example, these dumbasses decide to do the dumbest things to piss off an animal and what happens? They get attacked. And the sad part is, they were saved. Although I'm all for helping a person in need, I also believe in the Survival of the strongest therory. Let me give you an example. A women at a zoo exhibit decided the designated secondary fence was an inconviance for her and she wanted to go closer to the polar bears. So she jumps over the rail. She walks up to the main cage. Guess what happened? The polar bear grabbed her leg from within the cage. I wonder if the sign "stay back for your own safety" register with her or she was just....dee dee dee. After seeing that, the show should be renamed When Animals Attack Stupid People but they're were spared for some reason. But that's a long sentence. I'm not even going to mention police videos cause some people do get what they deserve.
5. Finally misc narrating or reinactments. There are just certain types of narrators I just can't stand. That nasaly voice 50 yr old ones, those who make puns especially women, and John Walsh. (Seriously I don't care what benefits he has done, I DON'T WANT TO HERE ANYMORE OF THOSE HORRIBLE POLICE PUNS). And then there's those interviews or reinactments. Let me just say if you ever say on tv being lighty attacked by a deer and admit you can never look at a deer the same way again...you are a f***in loser. Oh and there is just on other embarssing thing i've got to mention. Noe just a note (I'm not being sexsist or something like that, but it just proves women deep down can't take the extreme in some cases.) SO anyway this bear stumbles onto a camp and peers into a tent, This women, as she descirbes was suddenly under attack by this bear. Now she has a pistol by her side and the bear is right on top of her. You know she should use it. I'm screeming at this point at the actress say, "Shoot the f***in bear!". But she doesn't because she describes she was afraid she would hit someone else. She'S going to die and she's afraid to save herself? I got to tell you that any man in the same place would be pulling the trigger non-stop, even if the gun was empty, until either death claims either or both. ugh....you people...I swear I feel embarassed this world actually contains people this stupid.
Well it's very late now, but basiclly that's my entire rant. But i've got to say you've guys really taken a shine to my rants, at least most of the time anyway. So in submation, leave your commits where you drop...in the 6th Demension...or here. (The toll is a b**** for each demension).
