Timewarp
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,636
- Points
- 0
(KABOOM!!!)
What happened?
Someone Set us up the bomb.
We get signal...it's you.
How are you TT. All your rant are belong to us. You are on your way to destruction.
What you say?
You have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha Ha Ha.
okay....so maybe it's the most farfetched intro i've done so far. At least it wasn't over 9000!!!!!!!
(erhm). Alright now that i've destroyed all chance of mating...let's get onto the rant.
Okay so continuing from my first rant, as some who actually read it, iwas going on and on about gift cards. Of course that was only #2 on my fucked up gift item list. Now it's time for the number one worst gift ever created by man, beast or killer robot. Hallmark Store bought cards.
Remember when you were a kid and father's day or mother's day was coming? And in class everyone was making cards for them. Sure...you didn't know how to spell...you had lame scissors...macaroni everywhere...and half eaten paste. And who the hell can tell what you drew on the card...it could've been squiggles and lines for all we'd care. Yet they were the most thoughtful cards any kid could ever give a parent.
That said...those cards are 1.00x10^100 times more thoughtful than the worst gift idea in history, Hallmark store bought cards. A card idea so vile and putrid that not even the people recieving them will ever, ever, EVER consider it to be anywhere close to a real thoughtful present. I question two things whenever I see this rack in any store. 1: Who buys this? 2: Who makes this?
I mean it's madness upon madness wrapped in frilly madness. Alright let's go to format.
1. Laziness: Okay of course the first problem with this gift is the fact it's the laziest of all gift ideas. I'm dead serious about this...it is the truth. You can go to about any store and find one rack full of these cards. And I mean any store. Gas station, Grocery, Pharmacy, seafood...uhh...in space..it doesn't matter where, it will be there. Cause you know...even if you forgot your wife had her birthday...there always a place to go in 5 mins to show that you care. And I know I said you can get gift cards about anywhere but Hallmark cards are actually everywhere. And is it really so hard to go out and buy some construction paper, markers and put a little more effort than Hallmark? I mean which is more sincere? Buying or making?
2. Cheapest: Got a birthday/marriage/holiday coming up but living on a zimbabwae budget? Well don't fret because even you can afford the 30 cents of bubble gum money for a card. Seriously I will make this statement here and now. A gift card is actually 5x more worthful than a Hallmark card. At least with a gift card you got some more money to spend even if it is at one place. A hallmark card...no. It's a cheap piece of paper and you can't do anything with it. You can't play with it. You can't us it in your everyday life. Hell it won't even be around for a week. I guarantee that. I will be gone within one week cause it will far apart. Guess you should get those sweat shopped ones for long lasting reminders of better spent bubblegum money.
3. Thoughtless: I can't imagine all but the weakest of emotional piles of shit actually have something change about them from a Hallmark card. I can tell you the only emotion range most people change into is one of disgust and anger. My problem with those cards....thousands upon millions for just about any situation. From "sorry I gave you an STD" to "happy birthday to my imaginary friend". There is just no meaning in a mass produced message that is recycled over and over and over to please every nook and cranny. There's is a huge difference between a card made by you with "I love you" and a store bought "I wuv u".
4. Creator: I'm not sure who creates these cards exactly...but it has to be people who are the exact opposite of what cards they made. I mean after printing happy birthday for the 100000000000 time, I'd probably be hoping for mass extinction too. Happy holidays? More like, "fuck, another 10 million cards". Wow this card has the most frillious pink, lace and cute bears ever. "Boy being gay and spreading it is so much better 597,596 ways everyday. Get ready for the reach around K-mart shoppers".
The worst though has to be those erotic cards. "pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat....well I guess i'll make some cards for about 40 mins. my boils hurt anyway".
5. It still exist: Why? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!!!!???? Please tell me why this gift is still in existence after billions of disappointed events ruined by it, after billions of lives destroyed by it, after Trillions of moneys wasted on them? My assumption: You are all idiots and you allow it to exist cause you won't stand up to say, "HEY! How about you go make me a card before you wish me a happy birthday you thoughtless son of a bitch"!
(Song time)
Make the world less stupid.
Try to think for once in your life.
After all your brain is now decaying.
You all make me sick.
Cause your stupidity will not die.
Darwin I hope you are right, because the future looks grim
You can only hope stupid people won't ever mate,
so they don't grow older to screw up fate.
So here's hoping to
Some dumbass doesn't screw you
So only smart people are still alive.
Everyday they grow larger.
So many dumb people running around.
You have to wonder how we've gone so far.
We've invented computers.
Even the concept of AI
I only wish we actually could put it to good use
Cause people are hitting each other with doors
and there's stupid people trying to start wars.
So let's us just pray that they blow themself's away
so only smart people are still alive.
still alive
still alive.
(Song end).
Yay...now leave commits, or sing commits...or just freakin sing.
What happened?
Someone Set us up the bomb.
We get signal...it's you.
How are you TT. All your rant are belong to us. You are on your way to destruction.
What you say?
You have no chance to survive, make your time. Ha Ha Ha.
okay....so maybe it's the most farfetched intro i've done so far. At least it wasn't over 9000!!!!!!!
(erhm). Alright now that i've destroyed all chance of mating...let's get onto the rant.
Okay so continuing from my first rant, as some who actually read it, iwas going on and on about gift cards. Of course that was only #2 on my fucked up gift item list. Now it's time for the number one worst gift ever created by man, beast or killer robot. Hallmark Store bought cards.
Remember when you were a kid and father's day or mother's day was coming? And in class everyone was making cards for them. Sure...you didn't know how to spell...you had lame scissors...macaroni everywhere...and half eaten paste. And who the hell can tell what you drew on the card...it could've been squiggles and lines for all we'd care. Yet they were the most thoughtful cards any kid could ever give a parent.
That said...those cards are 1.00x10^100 times more thoughtful than the worst gift idea in history, Hallmark store bought cards. A card idea so vile and putrid that not even the people recieving them will ever, ever, EVER consider it to be anywhere close to a real thoughtful present. I question two things whenever I see this rack in any store. 1: Who buys this? 2: Who makes this?
I mean it's madness upon madness wrapped in frilly madness. Alright let's go to format.
1. Laziness: Okay of course the first problem with this gift is the fact it's the laziest of all gift ideas. I'm dead serious about this...it is the truth. You can go to about any store and find one rack full of these cards. And I mean any store. Gas station, Grocery, Pharmacy, seafood...uhh...in space..it doesn't matter where, it will be there. Cause you know...even if you forgot your wife had her birthday...there always a place to go in 5 mins to show that you care. And I know I said you can get gift cards about anywhere but Hallmark cards are actually everywhere. And is it really so hard to go out and buy some construction paper, markers and put a little more effort than Hallmark? I mean which is more sincere? Buying or making?
2. Cheapest: Got a birthday/marriage/holiday coming up but living on a zimbabwae budget? Well don't fret because even you can afford the 30 cents of bubble gum money for a card. Seriously I will make this statement here and now. A gift card is actually 5x more worthful than a Hallmark card. At least with a gift card you got some more money to spend even if it is at one place. A hallmark card...no. It's a cheap piece of paper and you can't do anything with it. You can't play with it. You can't us it in your everyday life. Hell it won't even be around for a week. I guarantee that. I will be gone within one week cause it will far apart. Guess you should get those sweat shopped ones for long lasting reminders of better spent bubblegum money.
3. Thoughtless: I can't imagine all but the weakest of emotional piles of shit actually have something change about them from a Hallmark card. I can tell you the only emotion range most people change into is one of disgust and anger. My problem with those cards....thousands upon millions for just about any situation. From "sorry I gave you an STD" to "happy birthday to my imaginary friend". There is just no meaning in a mass produced message that is recycled over and over and over to please every nook and cranny. There's is a huge difference between a card made by you with "I love you" and a store bought "I wuv u".
4. Creator: I'm not sure who creates these cards exactly...but it has to be people who are the exact opposite of what cards they made. I mean after printing happy birthday for the 100000000000 time, I'd probably be hoping for mass extinction too. Happy holidays? More like, "fuck, another 10 million cards". Wow this card has the most frillious pink, lace and cute bears ever. "Boy being gay and spreading it is so much better 597,596 ways everyday. Get ready for the reach around K-mart shoppers".
The worst though has to be those erotic cards. "pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat....well I guess i'll make some cards for about 40 mins. my boils hurt anyway".
5. It still exist: Why? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY!!!!???? Please tell me why this gift is still in existence after billions of disappointed events ruined by it, after billions of lives destroyed by it, after Trillions of moneys wasted on them? My assumption: You are all idiots and you allow it to exist cause you won't stand up to say, "HEY! How about you go make me a card before you wish me a happy birthday you thoughtless son of a bitch"!
(Song time)
Make the world less stupid.
Try to think for once in your life.
After all your brain is now decaying.
You all make me sick.
Cause your stupidity will not die.
Darwin I hope you are right, because the future looks grim
You can only hope stupid people won't ever mate,
so they don't grow older to screw up fate.
So here's hoping to
Some dumbass doesn't screw you
So only smart people are still alive.
Everyday they grow larger.
So many dumb people running around.
You have to wonder how we've gone so far.
We've invented computers.
Even the concept of AI
I only wish we actually could put it to good use
Cause people are hitting each other with doors
and there's stupid people trying to start wars.
So let's us just pray that they blow themself's away
so only smart people are still alive.
still alive
still alive.
(Song end).
Yay...now leave commits, or sing commits...or just freakin sing.
Last edited:
