Timewarp
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
- Messages
- 1,636
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If any of you had the most unfortunate luck to have to awnser the call of nature and was no where near your house or a trusted friend's house, you know where this is going. All across America, no matter what state or city, you'll find one of mankind's most disgusting inventions: The public restroom. Who has ever had to use a public restroom and said "Thank goodness"? I seriously doubt it. Now I can't speak for all of the population, this rant is for guys only. Maybe a female can discuss their side but I won't get into it.
Okay. 1: Everything is WET!. The first second you enter a restroom you realize every corner, inch, and surface is covered in either a wet or sticky substance. It's as if someone just pissed all over the walls, sinks and toilets without any sense of coordination. (Though I admit it's on of the joys of being a dude....not really.) Sometimes even the toilet paper is wet and that isn't good if you got to do #2.
2: Urinal stalls and wall toilets. If you're in a crowed restroom, you have the make the akward and scary move to go really close to 1 or 2 others and attempt to go. Then there are those times when no one is around and someone decides to piss next to you even though there can be a row of open toilets. Stalls are another unconfortable place. First all stalls have the most closterphobic conditions for a place intended for relief. Opening and closing those doors can be a hassle especially if some evil scientist decided to have the door open inwards. Second all stalls have gaps between the walls and under them. So at anytime you're sitting down, anyone can check out how your bodily functions work.
3: Toilets. After thousands of uses a toilet can become an instrument of torture. First you can't sit on one unless you use a piece of paper or are incrediably lucky to enter one after it was cleaned. Even with the paper you still have to confront the horror of any part of your skin touching any part of the toilet, including the handle. Millions of germs from others, some who are so sloppy, everywhere. And trying to use the toilet paper is hard because it's incased in a triple pad locked large piece of sharp metal. Trying to get to it is like sticking your hand into a bag of glass, hoping not to end up with a sliced hand. In the end you end up with a few pieces and sometimes a couple of wonds, not good in a place filled with germs.
4: Sinks. This is an interesting complaint because it only applies to only poor facilities or poorly planned ones. Some sinks are desinged with time-limit knobs, so you're trying to beat the clock just to lather and rinse. Some are automatic, which makes it a guessing game when it will come on or not. These two particular fashioned sinks also have another problem, temperture control. They're desined to reach tempertures that normal human beings would never endure and thus were probably desinged for those without nerve endings.
5: Air Dryers. If there is one thing I hate drying my hands with, it's with the power of the air. I can tell you the power of the winds blows. It never completely dries your hands, never. No mater how long or if you rub your hands toghther. In the end you just rub them on you clothes, leaving a unfufilled feeling of emptyness.
6: The final complaint I have againts public restrooms, Women restrooms. Men can not enter them and so there is a profound mystery about them. What is in them? I always think there's like a pot of flowers or frilly wallpaper or rug room floors. WHAT IS IN THERE!?
And that is my rant, discuss and if you think you're offended, i've done my job.
Okay. 1: Everything is WET!. The first second you enter a restroom you realize every corner, inch, and surface is covered in either a wet or sticky substance. It's as if someone just pissed all over the walls, sinks and toilets without any sense of coordination. (Though I admit it's on of the joys of being a dude....not really.) Sometimes even the toilet paper is wet and that isn't good if you got to do #2.
2: Urinal stalls and wall toilets. If you're in a crowed restroom, you have the make the akward and scary move to go really close to 1 or 2 others and attempt to go. Then there are those times when no one is around and someone decides to piss next to you even though there can be a row of open toilets. Stalls are another unconfortable place. First all stalls have the most closterphobic conditions for a place intended for relief. Opening and closing those doors can be a hassle especially if some evil scientist decided to have the door open inwards. Second all stalls have gaps between the walls and under them. So at anytime you're sitting down, anyone can check out how your bodily functions work.
3: Toilets. After thousands of uses a toilet can become an instrument of torture. First you can't sit on one unless you use a piece of paper or are incrediably lucky to enter one after it was cleaned. Even with the paper you still have to confront the horror of any part of your skin touching any part of the toilet, including the handle. Millions of germs from others, some who are so sloppy, everywhere. And trying to use the toilet paper is hard because it's incased in a triple pad locked large piece of sharp metal. Trying to get to it is like sticking your hand into a bag of glass, hoping not to end up with a sliced hand. In the end you end up with a few pieces and sometimes a couple of wonds, not good in a place filled with germs.
4: Sinks. This is an interesting complaint because it only applies to only poor facilities or poorly planned ones. Some sinks are desinged with time-limit knobs, so you're trying to beat the clock just to lather and rinse. Some are automatic, which makes it a guessing game when it will come on or not. These two particular fashioned sinks also have another problem, temperture control. They're desined to reach tempertures that normal human beings would never endure and thus were probably desinged for those without nerve endings.
5: Air Dryers. If there is one thing I hate drying my hands with, it's with the power of the air. I can tell you the power of the winds blows. It never completely dries your hands, never. No mater how long or if you rub your hands toghther. In the end you just rub them on you clothes, leaving a unfufilled feeling of emptyness.
6: The final complaint I have againts public restrooms, Women restrooms. Men can not enter them and so there is a profound mystery about them. What is in them? I always think there's like a pot of flowers or frilly wallpaper or rug room floors. WHAT IS IN THERE!?
And that is my rant, discuss and if you think you're offended, i've done my job.
