Tossing in the tickling towell?

[magic fingers]

I'm seriously considering doing everything I can(self-hypnosis, therapy, etc.) to suppress my love of tickling. Why? Because the overwhelming majority of women(at least the one's I'm attracted to) either dislike, or hate being tickled! The vanilla world is winning! 🙁 . If you can't beat them, join them. I mean, just look at this forum; It's all guys! (and please, I'm tired of hearing the same old crap about women being shy, or reserved. It's no longer the 1950's. If a women's interested in something, she'll come out, and participate.) Don't get me wrong. I love all you people. You're all wonderful, intelligent, funny, loving individuals, but I'm tired of fooling myself into thinking there's a lee/ler out there for me. I'll just have to settle for a nice female non-ticklefile, and get my thrills from video's & the internet. I realize, I'm just feeling sorry for myself, and right now I'm not in the best frame of mind, but I'd like feedback from WOMEN ONLY, on this post. Am I over-reacting, or facing reality? If there are any female lurkers out there(which I doubt) feel free to respond. Prove to me, that I'm making a mistake, by trying to completely join the Vanilla world.

 

[U.N.Owen]

I discussed my tickling taste with a therapist once, who I'd gone to see about school-related stress. She thought it was very funny that I was worried about it, and told me strongly that it was perfectly normal... indeed, that it was a common part of sexual play.

So, therapy may not give you a "get away from it" answer, after all.

 

[siamese dream]

I doubt you'll be able to "suppress" it, I think for most people on the forum it's something that's been there since childhood, maybe since birth...nothing we can explain but it's still there. You can't just 'turn it off', if it's an inherent part of your sexuality. You can try to ignore or repress all you want, but all that's going to do is cause more depression that you don't feel free to really be yourself.

Yes, not many women are on this forum, and it's likely that the vast majority of tickling fetishists are men. I think in most fetishes, males tend to overwhelm. I'm not totally sure why, but it seems that way. I always felt weird myself being a female with this fetish, though it turns out most of the guys on this forum want nothing more than just that. I still feel weird sometimes, cause it's like, "why me, out of so many women who don't feel that way?"

Yet I think that you can get someone to enjoy what you enjoy, if that person really understands you and cares for you. It's likely not going to happen in casual relationships. I think trust and friendship between the two people is very important, before trying to get them into something they might not have considered sexual before. Some women (and men) just hate it, and aren't going to change. I don't think most women are like this. I think many of them enjoy tickling on a playful level, and haven't thought of it as anything else... but they may be uncomfortable with the idea of bondage, or something intense like that. Still, even if you can't get everything you want, there can still be a happy medium... I think a lot of girls, when it comes down to it, really do enjoy tickle-fighting with a lover, and may love it even more once they realize that you get something extra out of it... and perhaps a really open-minded woman eventually would let you fufill fantasies more "risky" than tickle fighting.
All I'd say is look for a woman who's confident, fun-loving, an easygoing person, and most definitely open-minded. And I'd venture to say a little naughty at times... you may find what you want.

 

[Dave2112]

"To hell with love, I'm just looking for kinky sex..."

I knew there was a reason I liked you, EQ!

😎

 

[Krokus]

LOL

Mind if I use that line on my partner, EQ?? 😀

 

[qjakal]

The Hell with Love...

It's gonna be a heck of a T-Shirt and coffee cup sale EQ!

 

[Krokus]

Nah...lol...

I wouldn't dare say such a thing..... 😀 😎

 

[magic fingers]

This just proves my point. I ask for "WOMEN ONLY" to respond, and the majority of people who post a response are guys. That pretty much proves that 99.9% of the women out there aren't into tickling. Damn, I wish I could be more "normal"

 

[Myriads]

That males responded proves nothing about women and tickling. it simply exhibits that males on the TMF don't always follow directions 🙂 See I didn't either.

Women who like tickling are about. I've met many in my years of play . And you know what. i've met more that don't. But just because the first half dozen you've tried don't, doesn't mean they are not about. It's a numbers game. Keep trying.

Myriads.

 

[Barlow]

Just another male reply!

Actually, in all seriousness, any type of sexual fetish is very powerful. We all experience it. I have a background in psychology to which I was attracted because I wanted to better understand my own fetish. It's all about reinforcement, i.e. some stimulus that causes pleasure. If you were to find some sort of therapy that would "fix" your fetish, then you would have to literally avoid all tickling. Because if you saw or experienced any type of tickling that would have turned you on prior to the therapy then you would be reinforced again and all of the years of reinforcement would come back to affect you again. I, for one, have decided to enjoy myself, and I agree with Myriads, there are women out there who would allow you to at least indulge yourself from time to time. Maybe even in time this woman you speak of will allow you to tickle her some. You never know...

 

[Dave2112]

Aww, Dave....only one reason? 😉

No, there's more than that, but I ran out of fingers to count on.😉

 

[njjen3953]

This just proves my point. I ask for "WOMEN ONLY" to respond, and the majority of people who post a response are guys. That pretty much proves that 99.9% of the women out there aren't into tickling. Damn, I wish I could be more "normal"

Well, you also asked if there were women lurkers. There are plenty, but they are still lurking.
Have you ever gone to a gathering? There are many happeneing all over and the ratio of men to women has grown considerably as well in more equal proportions.

Don't give up. I never thought I would find my ideal mate either, but love has blessed me. It took a while and he was absolutely worth waiting for.


Jen

 

[Krokus]

Well

This just proves my point. I ask for "WOMEN ONLY" to respond, and the majority of people who post a response are guys. That pretty much proves that 99.9% of the women out there aren't into tickling. Damn, I wish I could be more "normal"

Wish?? After reading this, I no longer care. Make it happen. If you do not like the fact that there are more men at the TMF than women, and if you can't cope with the FACT that there are plenty of women who are into tickling (just refuse to "come out")...Easy Solution. Leave the TMF, and get "Normal". Last time I checked though, loving tickling didn't make me any less "Normal". It's all in the mind, buddy.....and that is obviously where you are lacking in this situation. Get your head on straight, and re-think this problem, or.....leave, and become "Normal".

 

[ontheverge]

I've been skulking around here for almost a year before I got together the nerve to register, last week. And I've been walking around with this tickling fetish for going on thirty years. I still haven't gotten the nerve to "come out."

Believe me, there are female ticklephiles in the world. The one up-side to world overpopulation is that there are undoubtedly more now than ever. I know it's a needle-in-a-haystack proposition, especially since American society still regards women who enjoy sex as "sluts." Being a woman who not only enjoys sex immensely, but also longs for it to involve tickling, I am often tempted to curve or obliterate both behaviors to fit the social norm. But you know something? My affinity for tickling is a lot like my nasal South Jersey accent: it's part of who I am. Without it, I wouldn't be "me." Additionally, conforming to society's ideal of "normal" is adding to the problem. Doing that will keep willing women like me from baring our souls (soles?) to you.

The only man I've ever tried to tell about my tickling thing was shocked, and said I was a "freak". We're divorced now. Don't put yourself in that position. Be patient, and you will find the woman you are looking for. You have my moral support all the way.

 

[Myriads]

Welcome to the forum ontheverge, great first post, and glad that you have chosen to join us.

Myriads

 

[SmileyTkls]

I know I'm not a gal, but I have found several women who love to be and to tickle, but with lots of time, patience, and effort. And welcome, ontheverge, thanks for giving even we who haven't given up more hope of finding gals like yourself. 😀

Smiley

 

[njjen3953]

Welcome ontheverge.
Always glad to see another female posting. I hope you keep yourself visible. 😉

Jen
an ex Jersyite

 

[dvnc]

Also not a gal. From my perspective, it's always been a patience deal. I've known a number of ladies who WEREN'T into this, but dug playing, 'cause it was playful. Some liked playin' wit' bondage, some didn't. Some kept the interest, some didn't. Just gotta apply a bit of childhood sensibility to it, and play nice, and often it's all good.

OTOH, it's a LOT easier to find one of us that's already into this, if you can. I can't recommend that highly enough! There's many fine contributors, like ontheverge. Havin' met many, through gatherings and through friendships made over the years online, I found "the one" from an old pal from USENET. I live for the lady, now, and I ain't the only one that found another, online. Wasn't like a personals ad for me, though that works for some. It WAS an effort, and continues to be, 'cause we're far apart, short term.

Short and sweet - if y'keep lookin', she's out there, likely lookin' for you. Don't disappoint the lady, now.

As for women responding, have you noticed the volume of men who will flood 'em with wannas? That spooks anyone. Hell, it'd spook me if every women in the scene suddenly just mailed me to tell me their desires. That loses novelty damned quick. Make friends wit' enough folk, meet your community, get comfortable wit' your interest (so no one can effectively tease ya 'bout it) and you WILL find someone. Matter o' time.

 

[ontheverge]

Thank you all. It's good to be in a space where there's so much acceptance. I am happy to be a part of it.

 

[Seraph777]

I know you were looking to hear from women only and I'm a guy, but you are not the first guy(and probably not the last) to have these feelings. I've seen many posts of guys complaining that they cannot find ticklees. My advice start dating. The TMF is great. You can meet a lot of people with same interest, read great stories, find celebs news, and so on. It is, however, not the best place to meet women. I agree that overwhelming majority of the forum is guys, and the chance of you meeting a woman that you find attractive, intelligent, compatible, and lives within 50 miles of you is slim to none. And Slim is half way out the door. Hopefully tickling is not the only thing you are looking for. There are women all around you where you live, and that is true whereever you live. Yes, it takes some work, but that work can pay off. I admit, some people have found ticklees here, but some people have won the lottery too. But again look around you there are women all around. There are at least few that would be willing to experiment with tickling. Just don't push it too hard, and ask to tie her up on the second date. Wait untill you are comfortable with each, and that is my two cents on the subject

 

[magic fingers]

Thank you all for your feedback. And by the way, Seraph, I do date, but the women I date either don't like tickling, or don't understand my fascination with it, and they definitely don't think of it as sexual. And thanks especially to ontheverge. Your reply was the best response I've ever gotten on the forum. If there were more women out there, like you, the dating scene would be a better place for frustrated ticklefiles, like myself. And you're better off without your ex. Any man who calls his wife a "freak", doesn't deserve a classy lady like yourself! Part of my problem is that I'm just as much, if not more, of a ticklee, and a lot of women can't understand why a guy would want to be tickled. I guess it's not very tough, or macho

 

[ontheverge]

It has been my experience that "tough" and "macho" are irrelevant when you're naked. It takes a secure man to relinquish control of a situation, such as bottoming requires. I'd submit that your masculinity is far more evolved than you think. Now...to find an evolved female...

And thank you for your kind remarks. Best regards and good luck.

 

[dvnc]

in the category of fwiw, Seraph, you aren't the first woman who's been called names by her HUSBAND when she shared this. None of the women I met, who told EXACTLY the same tale, were still with the poor excuse for a person that treated 'em thusly.

Screw him for sayin' it, lady. Glad you found us here!

ontheverge's comment on the strength needed to bottom is a good and interesting comment. Most don't think about how it is to do so. Done it myself several times now, and it's not only not gonna kill ya (at least, it didn't kill ME) but it makes for one DELIGHTED switch. 'Sides, you learn, quickly, where they think a person should be ticklish... 😉