devious, first let me say that I'm very sorry that you're being treated this way by people, and that you feel as you do. Unfortunately, I can relate to your feelings.
I dont know if or how closely you've read my posts, but.. my mom died last April, and my father came back into my life after a long estrangement. . I was really suffering over my mom's death, as she and I were very close.
At the time of her death, my uncle, and cousins on my father's side, all of whom I hadnt seen in 25 years, came back into my life, not an easy thing when one has just lost the closest person in the world to them.
I posted this previously, but dont know if you saw it. One of my father's cousins proceeded to attack my mom at a family party I attended, literally 24 hrs after my mom's funeral, while I was still in mourning. Very feeling. I resumed communication with my uncle, who lives in Vegas, and who I saw this past Dec, for the first time since my 18th bday party, and I just turned 43 last week.
My uncle proceeded to tell me how my father and I should be estranged, and how my father should have dishonored his court ordered alimony obligaton to my mom,, and put my mom in the street. My parents had been married for 23 years at the time they split, and my mom was at an advanced age, had never worked, and earning money was not easy. In addition, she was screwed in the divorce badly, as my dad and his wife had always lived far better financiallly than how my mom was living. This enraged me, as my uncle had sent me an email after my mom died, saying how sorry he was, and how he wanted to create a new beginning. Additionally, after I went out of my way to remember my uncle's 65th bday with a nice gift, my uncle never sent me good wishes for the new year, or my bday last week.
I told my dad just yesterday, that I will not accept treatment like this from these people, and that I am finished with my uncle. As for his cousins, they are now on probation. I saw the cousins a couple of times since the attack on my mom on Passover, and the sister of the lady who attacked my mom, proceeded to attack me. I told my dad that I will attend the family party for Passover, but that if I hear of a single attack on either my mom or me from any of these people, they are all out for life. These are people who sat by for 25 years, and did nothing to help, as my dad and I were estranged. I went out of my way to be civil to them, to try and forgive the past, and to please my dad. However, I wont accept treatment like this from them.
Having been through this with many family members on my father's side, the only advice I can give is to try and weed out those people who do treat you badly, and dont deal with them, much like I try to. Focus in on those who do care for you. You seem like a good guy,and you deserve to be treated better than that.
If you ever want to chat or vent to me about this, I'm a good listener. Please pm me anytime and I will get back to you in short order.
