Well, when I was a boy out here in West Texas, I would occasionally visit my uncle's ranch in the summer. It wasn't a huge place by Texas standards...about the size of New Hampshire and half of Vermont, I'd say.
Anyhow, one Saturday afternoon, after it had gotten too hot to fish, I was lazing around the yard, leaning on a fence rail watching the horses in the corral. Among the quarter horses was one old mule Uncle Dud kept for plowing the vegetable garden. Jasper...that was the mule's name, Jasper...was standing across the corral next to the fence and on the fence sat our rooster. Gallo was the rooster's name. It's pronounced GUY-oh; it's a Spanish word that means "rooster."
!!!WARNING: THE STORY IS ABOUT TO GET KIND OF GROSS!!!
Directly, Jasper decided the time was ripe to relieve himself. I don't know how many of you city boys have ever seen a horse or mule take a dump, but the rectum distends to a great degree, just to get the matter at hand well out into the open.
Well, sir, as Jasper was doing his business, something in what he was passing caught the interest of Gallo. He leaned forward to peck out a little morsel and, just as he did, Jasper's chute retracted and pulled the rooster in up to the neck. Jasper, as you might well imagine, was startled by the sensation of a rooster's head in his rectum. Braying like a foghorn, he began to buck around the corral, too frightened to relax his hold on Gallo, who was flapping and kicking like crazy at the rear entrance. Any seasoned farmer or rancher could see that this was a situation that could quickly get out of hand and that's exactly what it did. Jasper finally kicked down a section of fence and galloped off into the prairie, taking Gallo with him.
He ran and ran until he collapsed with exhaustion in a dry arroyo, where we found him three days later. We'd have discovered him a lot sooner, but we had to search the whole time in the dark. Gallo being the only rooster for a hundred miles around, the sun couldn't come up in that vicinity until he was set free and able to crow.
