Twilight: The Abridged Version

[Excess]

Because I haven't seen it posted before and it should be.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

Btw, I heard that the actor unfortunate enough to be playing Edward has been trying to get out of his contract which has him signed to be in two more Twilight movies. Is this true? I can believe it, poor bastard. I hadn't heard anything about it until the movie either.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Btw, I heard that the actor unfortunate enough to be playing Edward has been trying to get out of his contract which has him signed to be in two more Twilight movies. Is this true? I can believe it, poor bastard. I hadn't heard anything about it until the movie either.

Huh? Where'd you hear that?

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

For all the people who don't like Twilight they sure put a lot of effort into doing research on it. I mean to write that script you would have had to seen the movie or even read the book. Why put all this time into bashing something that you don't even like?

My favorite part was this:

PETER FACINELLI

Kristen's been bitten! She'll be turned into a vampire within minutes unless you suck the venom out! I can't do it for some reason or another.

lollllll

 

[Excess]

For all the people who don't like Twilight they sure put a lot of effort into doing research on it. I mean to write that script you would have had to seen the movie or even read the book. Why put all this time into bashing something that you don't even like?

My favorite part was this:


lollllll

Well obviously I didn't write it, I'm far too lazy for such an undertaking. But people do that, just because. Hell, one person on the site apparently read THE WHOLE SERIES! Or at least that is what we are to believe.

Huh? Where'd you hear that?

Scratch that, HAD been. I've read from various sources, although I can't say for sure if it's proven accurate. But from what I've heard, he's trashed the series and it's fans repeatedly, probably mostly it's fans. He also apparently wants to do things with the character that are a bit more...extreme than in the books, for whatever reason.

 

[PeopleWatcher]

That was really funny. 😀

ROBERT PATTINSON

There's more. I want to eat you.

KRISTEN STEWART

Holy shit, really? I need to go home and do some waxing first, but...

Heehee.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

My favorite part was this:


lollllll

HAW!! That actually is a very good point.

 

[c7_assassin]

BILLY BURKE: So I hear you're 100-years-old. And interested in my 17-year-old daughter. So, mathematically that's like, what, a 40-year-old dating a 6-year-old?

LOL! Twilight was the lamest movie EVER!

 

[Perduabo]

LOL! Twilight was the lamest movie EVER!

Oh the book was MUCH worse. Read like fanfiction written by a 13 year old giggly schoolgirl (no offense to giggly schoolgirls)

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

Oh the book was MUCH worse. Read like fanfiction written by a 13 year old giggly schoolgirl (no offense to giggly schoolgirls)

None taken.



...I'm kidding.

 

[venray]

http://www.angryalien.com/aa/twilightbuns.asp

 

[Powah]

Though i can see why people don't like twilight hell i don't much care for it i have seen young teenage girls actually base their life off of the book. But everyone has a right to like what they do and i respect that. i don't know why i don't like it really maybe its cause i am more of a werewolf guy. >.> <.<

 

[Perduabo]

maybe its cause i am more of a werewolf guy. >.> <.<

Werewolves are cool and all...but it seems as though its always the lycanthropes and vampires that get all the attention.

When are we going to see a romance based around humans and liches? Where's the lich love people?

....God that's a disturbing image

 

[chicago]

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It is so sad the amount of people that worship this series when there are books out there like Women by Charles Bukowski and Crime and Punishment and A Farewell to Arms. I mean, I couldn't get into the Lord of the Rings but at least that series was worthy of the following it got.

 

[Powah]

It is so sad the amount of people that worship this series when there are books out there like Women by Charles Bukowski and Crime and Punishment and A Farewell to Arms. I mean, I couldn't get into the Lord of the Rings but at least that series was worthy of the following it got.

Annie i think you owe me those minutes of my life back for that video.😉
But yeah i agree, too many people think that this book has achieved some form of unprecedented literary prowess. when really its nothing new i don't deny the books are good. But if anyone has read vampire books before twilight you most likely heard a girl named Ann Rice, and i have a feeling most of today's vampire books pay homage to her excellent vampire chronicles series.

And By the way I don't know I am alone on this but the movie was pretty bad.

 

[c7_assassin]

But yeah i agree, too many people think that this book has achieved some form of unprecedented literary prowess.

My mom is an English teacher, and she actually wrote the publisher a letter, asking how they could publish such worthless garbage. And explaining to them the rules of grammar, apparently Stephanie Meyers can't even manage basic sentence structure.... my mom's a kook, but I laughed when I heard that... 😀

 

[♡AimLEE♡]

Seriously 9mins for the TRAILER of Twilight?
hahahaha

 

[Dussicar]

When are we going to see a romance based around humans and liches? Where's the lich love people?

I'm down for that! There is nothing cooler than a magically empowered, dessicated corpse that can obliterate the life force of even the greatest of champions with but a swipe of its pinky finger!

Ditzy teenage girl: I love you, "Darrenthar of the skin flaying pits! Make sweet love to my nubile pre-teen body right now!"

Darrenthar: Awesomness! Here I come!!!

1st level commoner rolls Fortitude save to resist energy drain DC 26. Gets 5. Loses two levels. Dies.

Darrenthar: Aw, piss!

ROBERT PATTINSON

So, the next generation of young women are currently flocking to see a female lead starring in a movie by a female director based on a bestselling book by a female author, and in this movie the main character wants to become completely submissive and self-sacrificing for a male.

KRISTEN STEWART

I love you. Put a baby in me.

Yep. This pretty much sums up modern, corporate media in a nut shell.

 

[Shade]

I was watching the MTV Movie Awards the other week. I devised a drinking game where you do a shot every time someone mentioned Twilight, or Robert Pattinson was shown on camera. Then I realized I did not want to die of alcohol poisoning, so I scrapped that particular game.