Well, normally I'd say something over-the-top and hammy like "NNNNOOO! WE'LL STORM CHICAGO WITH A TEAM OF CRYSTAL-METH CLYDESDALES AND DRAG YOUR ASS THERE!" but I won't on account of, well, 3-4 inarguable reasons. Unfortunate, but understandable. Saying "don't feel bad" won't stop you from feeling...uh, BAD, but take comfort in the fact that you had no control over this. But if you try to miss out next year though and we WILL storm Chicago with an army of Sudafed-snorting Goblins and make you come. Until then, courage.
However, you DO realize that in light of your absence, we'll be calling you up at various times that weekend to harass you and be general irritants. It's the least we can do.
Oh, and on a final note, if you find yourself feeling down and sad May 1-4, just remember to keep your chin up, think about us, and then slap your boyfriend in the back of the head and say
"CAN'T CATCH ME BITCH!"
...and then run.
You should get a familiar feeling shortly thereafter.
Good luck!