us "nice guys"

[primetime]

there have been several posts on relationships and stuff. well, i agree with a lot of them. women do seem to want a$$holes, and always seem to disregard the "nice guy". like the saying goes, "nice guys finish last." WHY? i am a nice guy. there have been a lot of disappointments in my life with women, MORE than successes, and have always wondered "why me?" and after thinking about becoming an a$$hole over an over, i just cant do it. my personality is too much of a nice guy. as much as i think i should treat women bad, i cant. i want to see a woman smile. i want her to trust me. i want her to talk to me with no worries about me not listening. i learned to become a good listener, and i love to give advice. which is funny sometimes as i give advice to married couples and relationships, but i have never been married. i dont have kids, but yet i seem to give good advice on the topic. why? because i listen well enough from other's problems and figure "do the opposite".

but why do women tend to be more attracted to the "bad boys"?? i think it is because of the excitement that goes with a bad boy. you know a nice guy is going to be a nice guy, but with a bad boy, you never know what you're going to get. one moment good, one moment, complete jerk. the part i find amazing is that they go crying to a nice guy and actually ask us why the guy is an a$$hole. but, the nice guy will be there to comfort you, and make you feel safe and secure.

so, what do us nice guys do? do we just be patient and go through heartaches in the meantime? i guess so, we dont have a choice. we are nice guys. but i want the women to know something. us nice guys will always be there for you. when you need to talk to someone without them thinking they just want you for sex. when you know you can talk to them and they wont be critical of what you did, and try their best to make you feel special again. when you want to be cuddled, and feel loved. when you want someone who can be your soulmate, who wont forget things like anniversaries or birthdays, and someone who is willing to share their own desires and needs, think about that friendly neighborhood nice guy. you never know, he may be the perfect match for you. guys like myself are waiting for that special someone to come into our lives, so we can be a part of theirs and make you feel special, like you deserve. not treated like a queen, and fall at your every whim mind you, but to make you feel like that special person. just give it a chance. you wont be disappointed....


let's hear it for the nice guys!!!! 😀 😀

 

[Shaggy]

This "nice guy" was cursed by a girl for the first time in his life today. Im on my way to jerk, so watch out ladies, here I come!

 

[JoBelle]

This "nice guy" was cursed by a girl for the first time in his life today. Im on my way to jerk, so watch out ladies, here I come!

GRrrrr....Don't you DARE!
Jo😡

 

[strokeofgenius]

bad boy image

I think you might be right that women (SOME women, not all, ladies) are attracted to that bad boy image.

But here's the thing...many of my female friends have told me that the "bad boy" image is not the type of guy a woman MARRIES. Sure, they might be attratced to them and go out and blah, blah, blah but when it comes to getting married, women are in for a big dissapointment when they try to tie the knot.

I suppose, most "bad boys" are not the marrying type anyway. And if they are, they suck at it.

I know several women who married bad boys and lived to regeret it very much.

Take someone like Howard Stern...his marriage busted up after 20+ years and the reasons he gave were that he a) worked all the time and was never around, b) ignored his family because he was always thinking of the next way to shock people or piss them off, and c) was surrounded by naked women all day, which I fail to see how that could have sat well with his wife.

Howard loves to rant and rave about how he was a great provider for his family (the guy's loaded, let's face it) and made life so easy for them that they should worship the ground he walks on.

Myabe there's a tiny bit of that that's true, but come on...marriage involves closeness, intimacy, frienship, sacrifices and all those other words that make some men squirm. Bad boys cannot provide this, so where do you turn....?


To the GOOD/NICE GUYS. These are the ones who WORK at marriage and learn how to love their mate anew every day. (Awwwwwwwwwww.)

There's hope for all us nice guys. Don't give up! 🙂

 

[Myriads]

"The race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. "

Ecclesiastes 9:2, 11-12, NIV


What you are is but a starting point it promises nothing in outcome. It's how you project that self into the world that makes the difference. A "Good Guy" can make just as strong an impression as a "Bad Boy" on someone whom they are looking to begin a relationship with. After all, relationships are built on a complex series of things, not just one part of a personality.

Myriads

 

[mpath]

preach on, Myr!

Having been stricken with chronic "nice guy-itis," I've certainly learned that to be true.

You can have bad things happen to you BECAUSE you're a "nice guy"--e.g., have a marriage fail--just as easily as you can have them happen because you're a jerk. (I'm speaking from personal experience on this one. lol)

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson:
"Trying is the first step towards failure." 😀

Ahhhh..there's nothing like freshly-brewed pessimism in the morning, eh? 😛

 

[guitman69]

I tried the whole "nice guy" thing all through high school. It wasn't really an act, its how I really am. I didn't get a single date back then. Then when I went to college, I grew my hair long, bought a motorcycle, and wore a leather jacket. That was when I met my wife.

The key is to project the "bad boy" image, while maintaning the "nice guy" personallity.

 

[TickledToDeath]

primetime..

..we must be twins of the heart. I relate and understand and agree with every single word you expressed. Been that way for a lifetime.
Have many scars. Have many experiences. Learned at the school of HARD KNOCKS. The best teacher is LIFE.
Better than any book or classroom.


Us nice guys go on, injured and limping through life, in search of the good in everyone and the end to the pain inflicted.

Us nice guys may finish last...but the BEST is always saved for last.
WE will reap what WE soe and that harvest will be sweet albeit late coming where the A**holes will taste only the sour in the end.


TTD

 

[UnclStevel]

Wow

I've been able to define a few things that have helped me out over the years, and hopefully will help you out too. There are certain characteristics that women find attractive in men. These have nothing to do with style or looks.

1. Confidence is king. Talk, walk, and BE confident in yourself and your actions.

2. Listen to them. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. A guy who is a good listener will always have women to talk to.

3. Meet women everywhere, and flirt. Ever notice how you sometimes catch a girl looking at you? If she looks twice, smile back. If she holds eye contact, get off your arse and go say hi.

Follow these 3 points and I guarantee you'll meet more women, all while being yourself.

Steve 🙂

 

[TickledToDeath]

Re: Wow

I've been able to define a few things that have helped me out over the years, and hopefully will help you out too. There are certain characteristics that women find attractive in men. These have nothing to do with style or looks.

1. Confidence is king. Talk, walk, and BE confident in yourself and your actions.

2. Listen to them. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. A guy who is a good listener will always have women to talk to.

3. Meet women everywhere, and flirt. Ever notice how you sometimes catch a girl looking at you? If she looks twice, smile back. If she holds eye contact, get off your arse and go say hi.

Follow these 3 points and I guarantee you'll meet more women, all while being yourself.

Steve 🙂

All three points are absolutely true! Especially 2 and 3. Even more especially...2
Especially if it comes natural and not as if you are doing it with "other than honorable motives.

TTD

 

[QBWeaver]

Keep on being a "good guy". There are SO many of us women around who would love to be on the arm of a gentleman.

I figure if she left like that she didn't deserve you. You're too good for her. This was just God's way of making room for the right girl to come into your life. Who knows... she may have walked right by you while you were focusing on that other gal.

So keep your eyes open. Be yourself and follow what the guys said above. You'll see. She'll be there and she'll be SO much more fun and SO much better for you overall.

Relax and just enjoying living Babe.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Keep on being a "good guy". There are SO many of us women around who would love to be on the arm of a gentleman.

I figure if she left like that she didn't deserve you. You're too good for her. This was just God's way of making room for the right girl to come into your life. Who knows... she may have walked right by you while you were focusing on that other gal.

So keep your eyes open. Be yourself and follow what the guys said above. You'll see. She'll be there and she'll be SO much more fun and SO much better for you overall.

Relax and just enjoying living Babe.

I can attest to what QB said.
I have waited a lifetime, literally, for the right woman to come along and I have found her. Just when I pretty much decided to give up all hope.
I look back on past relationships and have seen quite clearly that there is NOBODY more suited for me than Patti.
True love is worth waiting for. It does exist.

TTD

 

[toyou444]

Re: preach on, Myr!

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson:
"Trying is the first step towards failure." 😀

Ahhhh..there's nothing like freshly-brewed pessimism in the morning, eh? 😛

Or: "You tried your best kids and you failed. The lesson is: never try."

~ toyou <-- a nice guy too