svegau
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Here is my spoof on the Disney and Pixar movie Wall-E. I especially liked doing this because I enjoyed to movie greatly. In this rewrite new characters have been created and old ones have been revamped.
This is the tale of a young man names Wah-Lee. All his life he has labored in the trash fields on his island just as his acestors did. Day in and day out he packs it and stacks it. His life is turned upside down as a ship visits his island for the first time and drops off the first female he has ever seen. Lust and hilarity ensue as his fate and hers become intwined, and the decisions they make could affect the future of an entire alien species.
Please note: This is a spoof/parody of Wall-E, a story owned by Disney and Pixar. It is meant purely for the enjoyment of my readers. I am not affiliated with these two aformentioned businesses in any way. Please don't sue me!
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---Pack & stack, pack & stack, pack & stack. These words summarize Wah-Lee’s life perfectly. On his vast island, that is what he has done all his life. He sniffs out trash, packs it into neat 1’x1’x1’ cubes, and stacks it into neat towers. The piles of trash form giant monoliths that dot the island and create the silhouette of a metropolitan skyline. The stench of garbage fills the air where he lives, but this is normal for him. It’s the only smell he has ever known. Occasionally a tropical storm may blow in from the sea, toppling one or more of his large mountains of garbage. At the end of the storm, he emerges from his shelter and begins again. He lives off of the mushrooms that grow in the moist areas of his trash piles. To him, the garbage is both a never ending drudgery and the source of his sustenance.
---The trash on the island is also a source of ancient knowledge. Among the heaps of filth lay documents, magazines, newspapers, and other records of how things used to be long ago. Once the island he lived on was home to a great many people of a different race altogether. They were tall, thin, and pale humanoid creatures of incredible intelligence. Evidence indicated that the island at the time was akin to a U.S. western boom town. A short distance off the coast there was a deep sea mining operation designed to harvest some mineral of great value. However a very long time ago the mineral deposits dried up and the people of the alien race moved away, leaving the indigenous people to clean up after them. Centuries passed and the population of the island dwindled. Some moved away while other toiled and labored all their lives in the trash heaps until old age or illness brought an end to their work. Either way, Wah-Lee was the last humanoid left on the island. He had an uncommonly intelligent pet beetle that kept him company, so he didn’t feel lonely. His days passed predictably, with the occasional storm being the exception until one day…
---He had finished his trash collecting and harvested a bucket full of mushrooms for supper. Upon returning home, just before closing the door on his shelter, he heard a strange rumbling in the sky. “What could it be?” he thought, he hadn’t seen a single dark cloud all day. Still, as he sat down to roast his mushrooms the thunderous sound became louder. He threw an eye outside and saw that the sky was still clear. When the sound became too loud for him to ignore he put his mushrooms aside and went to investigate. To his shock and dismay there was a large ship touching down in one of his fields of garbage. Up until now he had only seen ships in old magazines, newspaper clippings, and pictures. He darted toward it without a single moments hesitation. Something new had come into his life for the first time since he met his beetle friend. The ship fired its thrusters as it landed which kicked up a large dust cloud, this blocked Wah-Lee’s vision. However he knew the island like the back of his hand and was able to press on even though his path was shrouded by dust & debris. When he arrived at the site, the ship had already touched down and its engines were still humming. Wah-Lee marveled at the large shiny vessel but maintained what he felt was a safe distance from it. If it started to “spew fire” from it’s bottom again he didn’t want to be too close. He gazed at it for almost an hour, taking in all the lights, contours, colors, and sounds. Finally he heard the sounds of mechanisms at work within the hull. A door opened up and a large mechanical arm extended from the side of the ship. In the arm it held what looked like a metallic casket shaped pod. It set the pod down, pressed some buttons on it, and returned into the hull of the ship. Once securely inside the engines of the ship hummed even louder and the thrusters fired. Wah-Lee took cover as the ship blasted off towards the highest clouds in the sky.
---After a long time had passed, Wah-Lee emerged from his cover to inspect the site. The ship’s thrusters left large burnt craters and the force of the thrust knocked over several of his trash towers, but he cared not. These matters seemed trivial compared to discovering what the first visitor he has ever had left behind. At first he thought it might be some new exciting piece of trash, something he could learn more about the past from! He darted toward the pod until it made a sound. It beeped and hummed. He thought that meant that the object might start to spew fire too and fled for cover again. When safely behind two large rocks he peered out at the pod. The top started to move. It let of a jet of gas and sounded like when he first throws water into his pot after having just used it to cook mushrooms. He stared wide-eyed at the object to see what would happen next… Was a gift or a curse just dropped into his lap? Finally the hatch opened completely and out came…a boot?! A rather large boot, attached to a rather large leg! Then out came another large boot and leg! Two boots and two legs! They turned to the side and hung out of the side of the pod. Then two hands attached to two arms grasped the side and out came the rest. The hands, arms, legs, and boots were in turn attached to a torso. A somewhat slim and muscular torso. In the front were two large masses of flesh that Wah-Lee also recognized from certain magazines as breasts. Above them was a head, with long flowing hair, piercing eyes, a petite nose, and a mouth with big full lips. Wah-Lee’s mouth hung open as he stared at the creature which emerged from the object and begun to stretch and twist. Once she was done she returned to the pod, pushed a few buttons on it, and opened a compartment on the side. From this compartment she retrieved a gauntlet which she placed on her right arm and a small device that looked like an ancient device called a television remote he saw in another magazine marked “TV guide”.
---With her equipment on, she looks up at the departing ship just before it disappears into the clouds. She takes a deep breath and coughs violently. The stench from the garbage that the thruster had blown away had apparently returned. So she frantically fetched a sort of face mask from the open compartment and affixed it over her nose and mouth. She takes a few deep breaths in the mask and then surveys her surroundings with a very bored expression in her eyes. She then goes to her task, scanning the garbage and debris around her immediate area with a blue ray emanating from the remote-like device. She scans here and there for a few moments, then stops. Wah-Lee hasn’t once taken his eyes off of her. He his completely transfixed on her.
---Suddenly she bursts into an incredibly fast sprint! Has Wah-Lee been spotted?! She dashes toward the heaps of stacked garbage and begins to use a mixture of Parkour, Free-running, and other acrobatic movements to navigate over, under, and around the stacks. Wah-Lee does his best to keep up until he sees her turn around in the distance. He crouches behind another rock and observes. She returns at dazzling speed! Her movements are direct and aggressive yet smooth and graceful. While watching her he accidentally knocks over a pebble, and with lightning fast reflexes the female fires a shot from the gauntlet on her right hand which obliterates the rock Wah-Lee was hiding behind. Luckily the blast didn’t hit him, but he is terrified all the same. If she could do that to such a big rock what could she do to him? He wasn’t eager to find out. After destroying the rock she went back to scanning the immediate area and moved on shortly after.
---Wah-Lee, knowing full well that she could easily destroy him too, followed her anyway. As if compelled to by some force within him which defied all logic and reason. In his mind he equated the act of following her with standing at the top of the tallest cliff on the island holding a long metal rod during a thunderstorm. In short, suicide! But still, he followed.
---She scanned and he followed, she scanned and he followed, she scanned and he followed. Wah-Lee couldn’t help but notice that she was scanning mostly long cylindrical objects. Pipes, poles, old bats, pens, mushrooms, etc. It continued like this for several hours until they reached a sort of clearing. There wasn’t much cover to be had here so Wah-Lee was extra careful, unfortunately his beetle friend was not. It scurried out of his pocket and over to the armored vixen, perhaps to extend a friendly greeting, but was met with an energy blast just like the one from earlier. It survived though and crawled toward the female. It crawled on her boot, then up her leg, then across her torso which caused her to giggle. It continued to crawl toward her busts and then between her cleavage. This caused her to giggle even more. Finally to made a turn once it climbed out and crawled down her right arm and onto her gauntlet. If she fired now a kill was assured! But she didn’t. She holstered her scanner and petted it! She admired it and it seemed to admire her. Wah-Lee, still behind his cover admired them both. Without thinking he let out a deep heartfelt sigh, which the female immediately caught on to! With her previous lightning fast reflexes she fired at Wah-Lee, again destroying his cover. But this time he could hide himself fast enough and was spotted! He ran as fast as he could, barely avoiding her blasts until he finally stopped and threw his hands up. She approached him with her gauntlet fully energized and trained on him and demanded to know who he was. Wah-Lee was to scared to speak, so she scanned him. Her scan came up negative, so she left. Still, even though he had almost met his end yet again, he followed her.
---He now tried time and time again to purposely get the female’s attention, but she completely ignored him, choosing instead to continue with her scans. She scanned to and fro, here and there, over and over and over and over again! She continued the rest of the day, clear through the night, and through the next morning with Wah-Lee following closely behind. By the afternoon of the second day, a good 24 hours later, her frustration was beginning to show. It is unclear what she is looking for, but it is obvious that her efforts were thus far completely fruitless. She began to stomp around the island, scanning anywhere and anything. As her frustration increased Wah-Lee put more and more distance between them as he followed. As she furiously stomped around the island she got one of her boots caught in a sink hole in the trash. Try as she might she simply couldn’t free herself from it. She pointed her gauntlet at the ground and fired, blasting her foot free. Then, completely annoyed by now, begins to blast away randomly around her environment. Wah-Lee once again narrowly avoids being vaporized by one of the shots. Once she was satisfied and blew off enough steam she kneeled down and sat on the ground, appearing to be sulking. Wah-Lee, against all rationality, once again decides to approach her. (Even though he has barely escaped death at her hands several times already.) He approaches slowly with both hands in the air, trying to appear non threatening. When he is near, he reaches out and just as he is about to touch her she raises her head and looks at him, finally acknowledging his existence.
---She asks him, “What is your purpose?”, at first he doesn’t answer. She asks again, “Your purpose?”. Wah-Lee backs away from her, picks up a pile of trash, packs it into a perfect square-foot cube, and lays it before her exclaiming, “Taa-daa!”. She seems unimpressed at first, but upon review of her surroundings and remembering her journey up to this point she finally noticed that the entire island is covered with these trash cubes. She looks at the young man again, somewhat awe struck. Wah-Lee then reciprocates her inquiry, “What is your purpose?” he asks. She harshly responds that it is none of his concern. She then asks what is his name, to which he replies, “Wah-Lee!” He then asks what is her name, expecting another cold response. But she replies, “Eivah.” “Aava?” said Wah-Lee. “E-V-Ah!” she retorted. “Eivah?” he said. “Yes!” she responded. The scene now is actually rather light hearted. Eivah started to power down her gauntlet when Wah-Lee noticed a dark cloud over here shoulder.
---It was a sudden storm. Wah-Lee rushed to grab Eivah’s hand and warn her of the impending storm, but she withdrew and stuck her gauntlet in his face again. Wah-Lee pleaded with her and tried to point out the fast approaching storm but she ignored him. Soon she would feel the wind and hear the first crack of lightning, but before she could properly react the storm was already on top of them. A mixture of torrential rain and high velocity wind kept bombarding them with mud, dust, trash, and debris. Visibility was almost 0%. Eivah braced herself against the storm and sought out Wah-Lee. She was just able to make out his silhouette beckoning her to follow, and so she did. Together they dashed towards Wah-Lee’s shelter. Lightning flashed and thunder roared which only served to blind and deafen them even more. They did however, eventually make it. Wah-Lee ushered Eivah inside and shut the doors behind them. The storm beat and battered the walls and roof of the shelter but could not get in.
---Wah-Lee’s shelter had withstood countless storms in the past and would indeed withstand this one. It is a testament to the ancient era of occupation by the more advanced Species. The sturdy shelter was probably some sort of bunker the alien race built in anticipation of the regular storms that plagued the island. Since Wah-Lee has been staying there he has accumulated piles of trash there that paint a picture of what the past civilization was like. Pictures of happy people, various foods, exotic ships that ferried people to exotic lands, etc. The place, though cleaner than outside, still harbored a layer of dirt. Seeing as Wah-Lee goes out to handle trash everyday it is understandable that over the years he would track much of it back home. And since trash and dirt are as natural to him as breathing, he doesn’t clean the place the place until the dirt becomes inhibitive toward his activities.
---The two of them were completely soaked from head to toe. Wah-Lee was unbothered by the fact. As mentioned before, many times while working in the garbage fields he had come home covered in filth, this time was just like any other. Eivah on the other hand was quite bothered! Very bothered!!! She peered down at her armor in a flustered manner. “Moh will not stand for this!” She cried. “Who is Moh?” asked Wah-Lee. “None of your concern!” retorted Eivah. She began to peel off her armor and the outer layer of clothing until she was left in what appeared to be a short underwear and stocking like leggings. She threw her clothing and armor on the ground. Wah-Lee quickly went over and collected them. When Eivah asked what he was doing, he said that he was going to clean them.
---He sniffed around her discarded armor and started to scrape the dirt and muck off. Eivah even had mud on her underwear and skin. She still seemed dismayed, possibly because of this Moh person. She drew her scanner again and scanned around the shelter. Once more paying special attention to long cylinder type objects. It was probably the only thing she could think of doing while waiting for Wah-Lee to clean her armor and for the storm to pass.
---Just then an old friend popped out again to say hello, the beetle! It crawled out of a crevasse in her gauntlet, up her arm, and into her underwear. The squealed, squirmed and giggled as the beetle crawled all over her upper body. She screamed, “Beetle! Beetle!” as the little critter started to make its way south. Wah-Lee ran over to assist help her. Once again using his sensitive nose, he starts to sniff out the beetle. (Wah-Lee’s beetle friend is actually a dung beetle, so it has a distinctive odor.) As the beetle makes its way down Eivah’s legging, she quickly pulls it off yelling, “Get it! Get it! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!” Wah-Lee sniffs his way down her leg and finally catches the beetle between her toes. He removes the beetle, prompting Eivah to breath a sigh of relief. However she is quickly tickled again. Wah-Lee has his nose jammed up against her foot and is vigorously sniffing it, not because it smelled bad though. In fact Eivah’s foot smelled heavenly! For someone who has smelled nothing but trash, filth, and fungi all his life the smell of her foot was the best thing that has ever drifted into his nose! It was certainly cleaner and had a soft & soothing musk which he couldn’t get enough of! She tossed and laughed as his impromptu olfactory probing continued. As Eivah’s foot was quite large, Wah-Lee had a lot of area to explore. He pulled off her other legging to see if her other foot had the same heavenly aroma, which it did! He soon had both of her feet pressed firmly against her face and inhaled deeply. Eivah is practically in hysterics by now. She pulls back both legs and kicks Wah-Lee hard in the head, sending him flying across the shelter and slamming against the wall (producing a large dent in the process.) Eivah again trains her gauntlet on Wah-Lee believing she was under attack just now when she notices one more long rod she hadn’t seen before, the one protruding from Wah-Lee’s pants! She scanned it and her machine finally tested positive. Eivah’s expression changes from that of utter annoyance to joyful and cheery. She exclaimed, “Hooray! I’ve found it at last!” “Um… Found what?!”, Wah-Lee asked.
---She runs over to Wah-Lee, drops his trousers, mounts him, and starts riding him as if competing in a bucking bronco contest. She vigorously moved her hips up and down on his phallus. This is the first time Wah-Lee has ever had sex in his life. At first he tries to demand what she is doing to him, but soon the euphoric feeling takes over. His toes curled in his boots, his eyes rolled, he grinded his teeth, and clenched his fists. His breathing became shallow and irregular. All thought and questions melted away as a feeling from deep inside his loins began to well up. What was it? Where is it coming from? It felt like urine in the beginning but soon it felt MUCH better. His testicles rocked and twitched in anticipation, he could hold it back no longer. Every nerve and muscle in his body tensed all at once and then…release. Everything! All at once. Every nerve and muscle loosened as the warm feeling in his loins seemed to flow out through his penis. He breathing became deep and slow. His drew long breaths and released them slowly and unevenly. He shivered as the flow continued. Every time his phallus pushed and pumped it sent a warm rush down his spine causing him to arch his back every few seconds. He wondered if the feeling would ever end. He felt ensorcelled. “Did she just cast some sort of spell on me?”, he wondered. It was his only coherent thought. Eventually it did come to an end, as all good things must. He laid motionless on the ground, only looking up at the ceiling and wondering what just happened. Eivah dismounted him and stood up. Being careful not to let any of Wah-Lee seed leak out. In an almost trance-like daze she muttered through shallow breaths of her own into her scanner, “Primary objective met…” and began to stagger away. Wah-Lee tried to get up, but his legs felt like wet noodles. A sound could be heard outside. A sort of banging. The storm had passed in the time it took them to recover so Wah-Lee grabbed onto a nearby pole and used it as a crutch to go to the door. When it was open he was surprised to see the casket-like pod that Eivah first came out of hovering in mid-air. It suddenly tilted up, opened, and fired a blue light straight at Eivah. The light surrounded her, picked her up, and propelled her into the pod. The hatch on the pod immediately slammed shut as soon as she was inside. On the outside a symbol started to flash, one that resembled a football with a long narrow tail on it. Wah-Lee was still stunned by his first sexual encounter and in fact didn’t properly react until several minutes after Eivah was locked in the pod.
---The events of the last to days were just surreal to him. In the last 48 hours he saw a ship for the first time, saw a woman for the first time, saw the destructive power of her gauntlet for the first time, was scanned for the first time, smelled a woman’s feet for the first time, and last but certainly not least he had sex for the first time! Not bad! But then a deep feeling of concern overtook him. He rushed over to the pod the moment he was able to and banged on the hatch screaming Eivah’s name. “Eivah! Eivah! E-Eivah! EEEEEIVAAAAAH!!!” Despite his best efforts though she remained motionless in the pod. The Strange flashing symbol being the only thing he can see still active. Hours later he remembered he hadn’t eaten for over two days, so he finally got around to roasting the mushrooms he picked before she arrived and ate them. Brooding over the fact that he would have like to talk about the lands outside of his island domain with her. She was obviously a traveler and most likely knew far more than him. Also, he fancied the though to engaging in the activity they were doing just before she was drawn into the pod again…
---For a period of almost a week he stayed near the pod. He took it with him when he worked in the garbage fields, he brought it inside when a storm was going to hit, and he slept next to it at night. However at the end of a week’s time he stopped clinging to it so much. He left the pod in a clearing while he proceeded to work on a new pile of garbage several meters away when he heard a familiar thundering. He looked up, but there wasn’t a dark cloud in the sky. He remembered this phenomenon and rushed back to where he left Eivah cursing himself for letting her go. His hunch was right. He could see the same large ship landing in the clearing. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, praying he will make it in time. As the ship set down, in a replay of the last time, the side of the hull opened and a large mechanical arm came out and picked up Eivah’s pod. As the arm retracted back into the ship he arrived. He sprinted to the mechanical arm, leapt up and grabbed onto it. In the same motion he reached into his pocket and pulled out his beetle. He tossed it back toward the ground and waved goodbye to it as he and the mechanized arm went into the ships hull. He thought, “There’s no need to get us both killed…” as he hung on to dear life. The hull closed and the engines started to rumble. He could feel the pressure all over his body as the ship took off towards the clouds from whence it came.
---Aboard the ship, Wah-Lee stayed near Eivah’s pod. Once in a while he stole glances out of the windows of the ship. To his amazement he could make out land masses in the distance. Whole continents with mountains rivers and plains. He wished that he could go visit them someday. But today he had a much more pressing engagement, being with Eivah. The ship rose above all of the clouds. Out of the window Wah-Lee could make out another ship, a BIG one! The ship was so massive in size it utterly dwarfed the one he was currently on. He remembered marveling at the size of the one he now occupied, thinking it was some grand ship in it’s own right. It is only now he realized that this ship barely qualifies as a mini-shuttle compared to the one he was approaching. The small ship pulled along side the Massive one. A door opened on the larger ship and two arms (Much like the arm in the smaller ship) came out, grabbed the smaller ship and pulled it in.
---Inside the larger ship there was a full sized hanger. Once again the hull of the smaller ship opened and the mechanical arm lowered Eivah’s pod and Wah-Lee toward the bottom of the hanger. The arm pushed a few buttons on the pod and retracted back into the hull of the smaller ship for the last time. The pod opens up and Eivah awakens. Likewise she exit’s the pod just as before and begins to yawn, twist, and stretch just as she did when Wah-Lee first saw her. And finally to bring all events to full circle Wah-Lee was very intently staring at her while she stretched just as he did back on the island. She takes off her face mask, the one she used to protect herself from the foul odor of the island, takes a deep breath, and coughs again. She is suffocated by the same odor she encountered back on the island. Upon reviewing herself she realized that she is still soiled by the mud and muck of the island. She turns around and sigh out loud, “Moh is going to have a field day on me!” Wah-Lee now speaks, “Who is this Moh Eivah?” “Not now Wah-Lee…WAH-LEE!!!” She glares at him, totally stunned by his presence. “What are you doing here?!”, she asked. “I came to be with you.”, he responded. “You silly person! This is no place for you! Of all the…”, she said. Wah-Lee did nothing but stare lovingly at her. She thought for a moment, “Okay, we just have to get you to an escape pod. That will take you back home. We just have to pass the way station and…Oh crap, Moh!” Again Wah-Lee asks “Who is Moh?” and Eivah finally answers his question. She takes him by the hand and ushers him to a sort of check-point between the docks and the outer hull and the interior of the ship. In this space stood a lone woman. A tall and beautiful lass that wore a long flowing white robe, large baggy white pants, a white headband, and a white muff. She seemed to be wearing an backpack of some sort. She was of course bare foot with large broad feet. She stood in the middle of the space with a meditative stillness. Wah-Lee looked at the new female with equal amazement. He was eager to talk to her but Eivah stopped him. She said, “Watch this…”, took a dirty leaf out of the pod she came in on and threw it into the way station. It slowly drifted toward Moh, who made a rapid movement and returned to her original position before Wah-Lee could fully perceive it. Eivah tapped him on the shoulder and whispers, “Look there”. He looks to where Eivah pointed. It was the leaf still flying through the air, but now it was sparkling clean.
---“Moh is in charge of sanitation. It is a protocol up here that all foreign contamination be cleansed before anyone is allowed into the interior of the ship. She obeys that protocol religiously! Moh will not allow a single micron of dirt to enter the ship from the outside, and as you can see we are both covered in dirt!”, explained Eivah. “What is so bad about that?” asked Wah-Lee. “Moh only cares about dirt and will relentlessly scrub anything or anyone that tries to enter the ship from the outside! If either of us tries to pass through here she will brutally scrub our every nook and cranny until we beg for mercy!!! She brushed another scout so much she nearly laughed herself to death when she got a little sand between her toes a few years ago. Look at us! You and I are completely covered in dirt! The only difference is I’m almost completely naked! And my feet are filthy!!!”, Eivah said in a distraught manner. She takes a few deep breaths and composes herself. “This is the only path into the ships interior. I need to sneak you in. Here is the plan. I’ll go in and get Moh’s attention. As I’m getting the scrubbing of my life…(eep!)…you cross the way-station and enter the ship. Got it?”, said Eivah. “Got it!”, responded Wah-Lee.
---Eivah steeled her nerves and proceeded into the way-station first while Wah-Lee stayed behind the corner and out of sight. Moh, standing in the middle like a lone sentry, waited for an opportunity to perform her duties when she eyed the scum-covered scout approaching. At first she expected nothing more than a routine “Fluff & Buff” but upon inspection of the returning scout she was completely covered in muck. Moh’s eyes became wide and bloodshot as she also noticed that every step the scout took produced a dirty footprint in her wake. She winced when she smelled the foul stench of the garbage she had been bombarded with earlier. Eivah on the other hand whistled anxiously as she slowly tried to make her way passed the seemingly dumbstruck Moh. She was more than half the way through when Moh made a strafing step to the side and put herself directly in Eivah’s path. “Oh! H-Hello Moh. I did not…notice…you there…”, she nervously said. She closed her eyes and gave a polite bow. When she opened them again Moh seemed transfixed on her visage! She could actually perceive a warm sensation on her face. She began thinking the stare she was receiving from Moh could have melted a hole in a 1-inch thick steel plate! “Dirty…”, said Moh. “I trust you are in good health…”, said Eivah. Moh ignored her pleasantries entirely, her gaze traveled down Eivah’s body taking the warm sensation with it. “Dirty… Dirty…”, said Moh. “Heh…heh… uh read any good books lately?”, Eivah said nervously. Moh gaze traveled down to her feet. They were stained by mud, had ample amounts of dirt between her ample toes and under her nails. “SO DIRTY!”, exclaimed Moh. Eivah tried to at least calm Moh down, but she knew all to well how this situation was going to end. She backed up and slowly retreated as mechanical tentacles emerged from Moh’s back which in turn produced brushes of every size and shape. Finally Moh yelled, “This won’t do, not one little bit! No! No! Won’t do at ALL!” The mechanized tentacles coil around and ensnare Eivah as Moh closes in with her brushes. Eivah is then introduced to a bristly HELL!!! With NO regard to the tender flesh underneath it all, Moh ferociously attacks the dirt all over Eivah’s body! Big and small brushes, some hard some soft, glided over Eivah exposed and vulnerable skin over and over again as Eivah bawled for mercy! She was simultaneously shampooed, bathed, manicured, and pedicured! “Bwahaha haha ha, M-MOH! P-Pfft-PLEASE! NO MORE! I CA-HA HA HA-AN’T TAKE IT! I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! HE HE HE HA HA HA!!!”, screamed Eivah. Again Moh ignored the anguished cries of the dirty scout, she was wholly focused on destroying the filth on her body. After 30 minutes of non-stop cleaning and polishing, Eivah now laid unconscious on the ground sparkling from head to toe. Moh stands over the scout fully satisfied with her work. She proceeds to signal a team to come and retrieve her. The recovery team comes in, puts Eivah on a hovering gurney, and carries her inside. Moh turns around intent to resume her post in the center of the way-station when she sees another set of dirty tracks stretching straight from one end to the other. Moh eyes once again become wide and bloodshot. She looks at the tracks again and again in disbelief. It was obvious that someone had snuck past her, but who? There was only supposed to be one scout coming in. It was a long while since she last left her pristine way-station, but she felt duty bound to pursue the “source” of the dirt and clean it. She gathered her best cleaning supplies and began the Hunt.
This is the tale of a young man names Wah-Lee. All his life he has labored in the trash fields on his island just as his acestors did. Day in and day out he packs it and stacks it. His life is turned upside down as a ship visits his island for the first time and drops off the first female he has ever seen. Lust and hilarity ensue as his fate and hers become intwined, and the decisions they make could affect the future of an entire alien species.
Please note: This is a spoof/parody of Wall-E, a story owned by Disney and Pixar. It is meant purely for the enjoyment of my readers. I am not affiliated with these two aformentioned businesses in any way. Please don't sue me!
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WAH-LEE
---Pack & stack, pack & stack, pack & stack. These words summarize Wah-Lee’s life perfectly. On his vast island, that is what he has done all his life. He sniffs out trash, packs it into neat 1’x1’x1’ cubes, and stacks it into neat towers. The piles of trash form giant monoliths that dot the island and create the silhouette of a metropolitan skyline. The stench of garbage fills the air where he lives, but this is normal for him. It’s the only smell he has ever known. Occasionally a tropical storm may blow in from the sea, toppling one or more of his large mountains of garbage. At the end of the storm, he emerges from his shelter and begins again. He lives off of the mushrooms that grow in the moist areas of his trash piles. To him, the garbage is both a never ending drudgery and the source of his sustenance.
---The trash on the island is also a source of ancient knowledge. Among the heaps of filth lay documents, magazines, newspapers, and other records of how things used to be long ago. Once the island he lived on was home to a great many people of a different race altogether. They were tall, thin, and pale humanoid creatures of incredible intelligence. Evidence indicated that the island at the time was akin to a U.S. western boom town. A short distance off the coast there was a deep sea mining operation designed to harvest some mineral of great value. However a very long time ago the mineral deposits dried up and the people of the alien race moved away, leaving the indigenous people to clean up after them. Centuries passed and the population of the island dwindled. Some moved away while other toiled and labored all their lives in the trash heaps until old age or illness brought an end to their work. Either way, Wah-Lee was the last humanoid left on the island. He had an uncommonly intelligent pet beetle that kept him company, so he didn’t feel lonely. His days passed predictably, with the occasional storm being the exception until one day…
---He had finished his trash collecting and harvested a bucket full of mushrooms for supper. Upon returning home, just before closing the door on his shelter, he heard a strange rumbling in the sky. “What could it be?” he thought, he hadn’t seen a single dark cloud all day. Still, as he sat down to roast his mushrooms the thunderous sound became louder. He threw an eye outside and saw that the sky was still clear. When the sound became too loud for him to ignore he put his mushrooms aside and went to investigate. To his shock and dismay there was a large ship touching down in one of his fields of garbage. Up until now he had only seen ships in old magazines, newspaper clippings, and pictures. He darted toward it without a single moments hesitation. Something new had come into his life for the first time since he met his beetle friend. The ship fired its thrusters as it landed which kicked up a large dust cloud, this blocked Wah-Lee’s vision. However he knew the island like the back of his hand and was able to press on even though his path was shrouded by dust & debris. When he arrived at the site, the ship had already touched down and its engines were still humming. Wah-Lee marveled at the large shiny vessel but maintained what he felt was a safe distance from it. If it started to “spew fire” from it’s bottom again he didn’t want to be too close. He gazed at it for almost an hour, taking in all the lights, contours, colors, and sounds. Finally he heard the sounds of mechanisms at work within the hull. A door opened up and a large mechanical arm extended from the side of the ship. In the arm it held what looked like a metallic casket shaped pod. It set the pod down, pressed some buttons on it, and returned into the hull of the ship. Once securely inside the engines of the ship hummed even louder and the thrusters fired. Wah-Lee took cover as the ship blasted off towards the highest clouds in the sky.
---After a long time had passed, Wah-Lee emerged from his cover to inspect the site. The ship’s thrusters left large burnt craters and the force of the thrust knocked over several of his trash towers, but he cared not. These matters seemed trivial compared to discovering what the first visitor he has ever had left behind. At first he thought it might be some new exciting piece of trash, something he could learn more about the past from! He darted toward the pod until it made a sound. It beeped and hummed. He thought that meant that the object might start to spew fire too and fled for cover again. When safely behind two large rocks he peered out at the pod. The top started to move. It let of a jet of gas and sounded like when he first throws water into his pot after having just used it to cook mushrooms. He stared wide-eyed at the object to see what would happen next… Was a gift or a curse just dropped into his lap? Finally the hatch opened completely and out came…a boot?! A rather large boot, attached to a rather large leg! Then out came another large boot and leg! Two boots and two legs! They turned to the side and hung out of the side of the pod. Then two hands attached to two arms grasped the side and out came the rest. The hands, arms, legs, and boots were in turn attached to a torso. A somewhat slim and muscular torso. In the front were two large masses of flesh that Wah-Lee also recognized from certain magazines as breasts. Above them was a head, with long flowing hair, piercing eyes, a petite nose, and a mouth with big full lips. Wah-Lee’s mouth hung open as he stared at the creature which emerged from the object and begun to stretch and twist. Once she was done she returned to the pod, pushed a few buttons on it, and opened a compartment on the side. From this compartment she retrieved a gauntlet which she placed on her right arm and a small device that looked like an ancient device called a television remote he saw in another magazine marked “TV guide”.
---With her equipment on, she looks up at the departing ship just before it disappears into the clouds. She takes a deep breath and coughs violently. The stench from the garbage that the thruster had blown away had apparently returned. So she frantically fetched a sort of face mask from the open compartment and affixed it over her nose and mouth. She takes a few deep breaths in the mask and then surveys her surroundings with a very bored expression in her eyes. She then goes to her task, scanning the garbage and debris around her immediate area with a blue ray emanating from the remote-like device. She scans here and there for a few moments, then stops. Wah-Lee hasn’t once taken his eyes off of her. He his completely transfixed on her.
---Suddenly she bursts into an incredibly fast sprint! Has Wah-Lee been spotted?! She dashes toward the heaps of stacked garbage and begins to use a mixture of Parkour, Free-running, and other acrobatic movements to navigate over, under, and around the stacks. Wah-Lee does his best to keep up until he sees her turn around in the distance. He crouches behind another rock and observes. She returns at dazzling speed! Her movements are direct and aggressive yet smooth and graceful. While watching her he accidentally knocks over a pebble, and with lightning fast reflexes the female fires a shot from the gauntlet on her right hand which obliterates the rock Wah-Lee was hiding behind. Luckily the blast didn’t hit him, but he is terrified all the same. If she could do that to such a big rock what could she do to him? He wasn’t eager to find out. After destroying the rock she went back to scanning the immediate area and moved on shortly after.
---Wah-Lee, knowing full well that she could easily destroy him too, followed her anyway. As if compelled to by some force within him which defied all logic and reason. In his mind he equated the act of following her with standing at the top of the tallest cliff on the island holding a long metal rod during a thunderstorm. In short, suicide! But still, he followed.
---She scanned and he followed, she scanned and he followed, she scanned and he followed. Wah-Lee couldn’t help but notice that she was scanning mostly long cylindrical objects. Pipes, poles, old bats, pens, mushrooms, etc. It continued like this for several hours until they reached a sort of clearing. There wasn’t much cover to be had here so Wah-Lee was extra careful, unfortunately his beetle friend was not. It scurried out of his pocket and over to the armored vixen, perhaps to extend a friendly greeting, but was met with an energy blast just like the one from earlier. It survived though and crawled toward the female. It crawled on her boot, then up her leg, then across her torso which caused her to giggle. It continued to crawl toward her busts and then between her cleavage. This caused her to giggle even more. Finally to made a turn once it climbed out and crawled down her right arm and onto her gauntlet. If she fired now a kill was assured! But she didn’t. She holstered her scanner and petted it! She admired it and it seemed to admire her. Wah-Lee, still behind his cover admired them both. Without thinking he let out a deep heartfelt sigh, which the female immediately caught on to! With her previous lightning fast reflexes she fired at Wah-Lee, again destroying his cover. But this time he could hide himself fast enough and was spotted! He ran as fast as he could, barely avoiding her blasts until he finally stopped and threw his hands up. She approached him with her gauntlet fully energized and trained on him and demanded to know who he was. Wah-Lee was to scared to speak, so she scanned him. Her scan came up negative, so she left. Still, even though he had almost met his end yet again, he followed her.
---He now tried time and time again to purposely get the female’s attention, but she completely ignored him, choosing instead to continue with her scans. She scanned to and fro, here and there, over and over and over and over again! She continued the rest of the day, clear through the night, and through the next morning with Wah-Lee following closely behind. By the afternoon of the second day, a good 24 hours later, her frustration was beginning to show. It is unclear what she is looking for, but it is obvious that her efforts were thus far completely fruitless. She began to stomp around the island, scanning anywhere and anything. As her frustration increased Wah-Lee put more and more distance between them as he followed. As she furiously stomped around the island she got one of her boots caught in a sink hole in the trash. Try as she might she simply couldn’t free herself from it. She pointed her gauntlet at the ground and fired, blasting her foot free. Then, completely annoyed by now, begins to blast away randomly around her environment. Wah-Lee once again narrowly avoids being vaporized by one of the shots. Once she was satisfied and blew off enough steam she kneeled down and sat on the ground, appearing to be sulking. Wah-Lee, against all rationality, once again decides to approach her. (Even though he has barely escaped death at her hands several times already.) He approaches slowly with both hands in the air, trying to appear non threatening. When he is near, he reaches out and just as he is about to touch her she raises her head and looks at him, finally acknowledging his existence.
---She asks him, “What is your purpose?”, at first he doesn’t answer. She asks again, “Your purpose?”. Wah-Lee backs away from her, picks up a pile of trash, packs it into a perfect square-foot cube, and lays it before her exclaiming, “Taa-daa!”. She seems unimpressed at first, but upon review of her surroundings and remembering her journey up to this point she finally noticed that the entire island is covered with these trash cubes. She looks at the young man again, somewhat awe struck. Wah-Lee then reciprocates her inquiry, “What is your purpose?” he asks. She harshly responds that it is none of his concern. She then asks what is his name, to which he replies, “Wah-Lee!” He then asks what is her name, expecting another cold response. But she replies, “Eivah.” “Aava?” said Wah-Lee. “E-V-Ah!” she retorted. “Eivah?” he said. “Yes!” she responded. The scene now is actually rather light hearted. Eivah started to power down her gauntlet when Wah-Lee noticed a dark cloud over here shoulder.
---It was a sudden storm. Wah-Lee rushed to grab Eivah’s hand and warn her of the impending storm, but she withdrew and stuck her gauntlet in his face again. Wah-Lee pleaded with her and tried to point out the fast approaching storm but she ignored him. Soon she would feel the wind and hear the first crack of lightning, but before she could properly react the storm was already on top of them. A mixture of torrential rain and high velocity wind kept bombarding them with mud, dust, trash, and debris. Visibility was almost 0%. Eivah braced herself against the storm and sought out Wah-Lee. She was just able to make out his silhouette beckoning her to follow, and so she did. Together they dashed towards Wah-Lee’s shelter. Lightning flashed and thunder roared which only served to blind and deafen them even more. They did however, eventually make it. Wah-Lee ushered Eivah inside and shut the doors behind them. The storm beat and battered the walls and roof of the shelter but could not get in.
---Wah-Lee’s shelter had withstood countless storms in the past and would indeed withstand this one. It is a testament to the ancient era of occupation by the more advanced Species. The sturdy shelter was probably some sort of bunker the alien race built in anticipation of the regular storms that plagued the island. Since Wah-Lee has been staying there he has accumulated piles of trash there that paint a picture of what the past civilization was like. Pictures of happy people, various foods, exotic ships that ferried people to exotic lands, etc. The place, though cleaner than outside, still harbored a layer of dirt. Seeing as Wah-Lee goes out to handle trash everyday it is understandable that over the years he would track much of it back home. And since trash and dirt are as natural to him as breathing, he doesn’t clean the place the place until the dirt becomes inhibitive toward his activities.
---The two of them were completely soaked from head to toe. Wah-Lee was unbothered by the fact. As mentioned before, many times while working in the garbage fields he had come home covered in filth, this time was just like any other. Eivah on the other hand was quite bothered! Very bothered!!! She peered down at her armor in a flustered manner. “Moh will not stand for this!” She cried. “Who is Moh?” asked Wah-Lee. “None of your concern!” retorted Eivah. She began to peel off her armor and the outer layer of clothing until she was left in what appeared to be a short underwear and stocking like leggings. She threw her clothing and armor on the ground. Wah-Lee quickly went over and collected them. When Eivah asked what he was doing, he said that he was going to clean them.
---He sniffed around her discarded armor and started to scrape the dirt and muck off. Eivah even had mud on her underwear and skin. She still seemed dismayed, possibly because of this Moh person. She drew her scanner again and scanned around the shelter. Once more paying special attention to long cylinder type objects. It was probably the only thing she could think of doing while waiting for Wah-Lee to clean her armor and for the storm to pass.
---Just then an old friend popped out again to say hello, the beetle! It crawled out of a crevasse in her gauntlet, up her arm, and into her underwear. The squealed, squirmed and giggled as the beetle crawled all over her upper body. She screamed, “Beetle! Beetle!” as the little critter started to make its way south. Wah-Lee ran over to assist help her. Once again using his sensitive nose, he starts to sniff out the beetle. (Wah-Lee’s beetle friend is actually a dung beetle, so it has a distinctive odor.) As the beetle makes its way down Eivah’s legging, she quickly pulls it off yelling, “Get it! Get it! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!” Wah-Lee sniffs his way down her leg and finally catches the beetle between her toes. He removes the beetle, prompting Eivah to breath a sigh of relief. However she is quickly tickled again. Wah-Lee has his nose jammed up against her foot and is vigorously sniffing it, not because it smelled bad though. In fact Eivah’s foot smelled heavenly! For someone who has smelled nothing but trash, filth, and fungi all his life the smell of her foot was the best thing that has ever drifted into his nose! It was certainly cleaner and had a soft & soothing musk which he couldn’t get enough of! She tossed and laughed as his impromptu olfactory probing continued. As Eivah’s foot was quite large, Wah-Lee had a lot of area to explore. He pulled off her other legging to see if her other foot had the same heavenly aroma, which it did! He soon had both of her feet pressed firmly against her face and inhaled deeply. Eivah is practically in hysterics by now. She pulls back both legs and kicks Wah-Lee hard in the head, sending him flying across the shelter and slamming against the wall (producing a large dent in the process.) Eivah again trains her gauntlet on Wah-Lee believing she was under attack just now when she notices one more long rod she hadn’t seen before, the one protruding from Wah-Lee’s pants! She scanned it and her machine finally tested positive. Eivah’s expression changes from that of utter annoyance to joyful and cheery. She exclaimed, “Hooray! I’ve found it at last!” “Um… Found what?!”, Wah-Lee asked.
---She runs over to Wah-Lee, drops his trousers, mounts him, and starts riding him as if competing in a bucking bronco contest. She vigorously moved her hips up and down on his phallus. This is the first time Wah-Lee has ever had sex in his life. At first he tries to demand what she is doing to him, but soon the euphoric feeling takes over. His toes curled in his boots, his eyes rolled, he grinded his teeth, and clenched his fists. His breathing became shallow and irregular. All thought and questions melted away as a feeling from deep inside his loins began to well up. What was it? Where is it coming from? It felt like urine in the beginning but soon it felt MUCH better. His testicles rocked and twitched in anticipation, he could hold it back no longer. Every nerve and muscle in his body tensed all at once and then…release. Everything! All at once. Every nerve and muscle loosened as the warm feeling in his loins seemed to flow out through his penis. He breathing became deep and slow. His drew long breaths and released them slowly and unevenly. He shivered as the flow continued. Every time his phallus pushed and pumped it sent a warm rush down his spine causing him to arch his back every few seconds. He wondered if the feeling would ever end. He felt ensorcelled. “Did she just cast some sort of spell on me?”, he wondered. It was his only coherent thought. Eventually it did come to an end, as all good things must. He laid motionless on the ground, only looking up at the ceiling and wondering what just happened. Eivah dismounted him and stood up. Being careful not to let any of Wah-Lee seed leak out. In an almost trance-like daze she muttered through shallow breaths of her own into her scanner, “Primary objective met…” and began to stagger away. Wah-Lee tried to get up, but his legs felt like wet noodles. A sound could be heard outside. A sort of banging. The storm had passed in the time it took them to recover so Wah-Lee grabbed onto a nearby pole and used it as a crutch to go to the door. When it was open he was surprised to see the casket-like pod that Eivah first came out of hovering in mid-air. It suddenly tilted up, opened, and fired a blue light straight at Eivah. The light surrounded her, picked her up, and propelled her into the pod. The hatch on the pod immediately slammed shut as soon as she was inside. On the outside a symbol started to flash, one that resembled a football with a long narrow tail on it. Wah-Lee was still stunned by his first sexual encounter and in fact didn’t properly react until several minutes after Eivah was locked in the pod.
---The events of the last to days were just surreal to him. In the last 48 hours he saw a ship for the first time, saw a woman for the first time, saw the destructive power of her gauntlet for the first time, was scanned for the first time, smelled a woman’s feet for the first time, and last but certainly not least he had sex for the first time! Not bad! But then a deep feeling of concern overtook him. He rushed over to the pod the moment he was able to and banged on the hatch screaming Eivah’s name. “Eivah! Eivah! E-Eivah! EEEEEIVAAAAAH!!!” Despite his best efforts though she remained motionless in the pod. The Strange flashing symbol being the only thing he can see still active. Hours later he remembered he hadn’t eaten for over two days, so he finally got around to roasting the mushrooms he picked before she arrived and ate them. Brooding over the fact that he would have like to talk about the lands outside of his island domain with her. She was obviously a traveler and most likely knew far more than him. Also, he fancied the though to engaging in the activity they were doing just before she was drawn into the pod again…
---For a period of almost a week he stayed near the pod. He took it with him when he worked in the garbage fields, he brought it inside when a storm was going to hit, and he slept next to it at night. However at the end of a week’s time he stopped clinging to it so much. He left the pod in a clearing while he proceeded to work on a new pile of garbage several meters away when he heard a familiar thundering. He looked up, but there wasn’t a dark cloud in the sky. He remembered this phenomenon and rushed back to where he left Eivah cursing himself for letting her go. His hunch was right. He could see the same large ship landing in the clearing. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, praying he will make it in time. As the ship set down, in a replay of the last time, the side of the hull opened and a large mechanical arm came out and picked up Eivah’s pod. As the arm retracted back into the ship he arrived. He sprinted to the mechanical arm, leapt up and grabbed onto it. In the same motion he reached into his pocket and pulled out his beetle. He tossed it back toward the ground and waved goodbye to it as he and the mechanized arm went into the ships hull. He thought, “There’s no need to get us both killed…” as he hung on to dear life. The hull closed and the engines started to rumble. He could feel the pressure all over his body as the ship took off towards the clouds from whence it came.
---Aboard the ship, Wah-Lee stayed near Eivah’s pod. Once in a while he stole glances out of the windows of the ship. To his amazement he could make out land masses in the distance. Whole continents with mountains rivers and plains. He wished that he could go visit them someday. But today he had a much more pressing engagement, being with Eivah. The ship rose above all of the clouds. Out of the window Wah-Lee could make out another ship, a BIG one! The ship was so massive in size it utterly dwarfed the one he was currently on. He remembered marveling at the size of the one he now occupied, thinking it was some grand ship in it’s own right. It is only now he realized that this ship barely qualifies as a mini-shuttle compared to the one he was approaching. The small ship pulled along side the Massive one. A door opened on the larger ship and two arms (Much like the arm in the smaller ship) came out, grabbed the smaller ship and pulled it in.
---Inside the larger ship there was a full sized hanger. Once again the hull of the smaller ship opened and the mechanical arm lowered Eivah’s pod and Wah-Lee toward the bottom of the hanger. The arm pushed a few buttons on the pod and retracted back into the hull of the smaller ship for the last time. The pod opens up and Eivah awakens. Likewise she exit’s the pod just as before and begins to yawn, twist, and stretch just as she did when Wah-Lee first saw her. And finally to bring all events to full circle Wah-Lee was very intently staring at her while she stretched just as he did back on the island. She takes off her face mask, the one she used to protect herself from the foul odor of the island, takes a deep breath, and coughs again. She is suffocated by the same odor she encountered back on the island. Upon reviewing herself she realized that she is still soiled by the mud and muck of the island. She turns around and sigh out loud, “Moh is going to have a field day on me!” Wah-Lee now speaks, “Who is this Moh Eivah?” “Not now Wah-Lee…WAH-LEE!!!” She glares at him, totally stunned by his presence. “What are you doing here?!”, she asked. “I came to be with you.”, he responded. “You silly person! This is no place for you! Of all the…”, she said. Wah-Lee did nothing but stare lovingly at her. She thought for a moment, “Okay, we just have to get you to an escape pod. That will take you back home. We just have to pass the way station and…Oh crap, Moh!” Again Wah-Lee asks “Who is Moh?” and Eivah finally answers his question. She takes him by the hand and ushers him to a sort of check-point between the docks and the outer hull and the interior of the ship. In this space stood a lone woman. A tall and beautiful lass that wore a long flowing white robe, large baggy white pants, a white headband, and a white muff. She seemed to be wearing an backpack of some sort. She was of course bare foot with large broad feet. She stood in the middle of the space with a meditative stillness. Wah-Lee looked at the new female with equal amazement. He was eager to talk to her but Eivah stopped him. She said, “Watch this…”, took a dirty leaf out of the pod she came in on and threw it into the way station. It slowly drifted toward Moh, who made a rapid movement and returned to her original position before Wah-Lee could fully perceive it. Eivah tapped him on the shoulder and whispers, “Look there”. He looks to where Eivah pointed. It was the leaf still flying through the air, but now it was sparkling clean.
---“Moh is in charge of sanitation. It is a protocol up here that all foreign contamination be cleansed before anyone is allowed into the interior of the ship. She obeys that protocol religiously! Moh will not allow a single micron of dirt to enter the ship from the outside, and as you can see we are both covered in dirt!”, explained Eivah. “What is so bad about that?” asked Wah-Lee. “Moh only cares about dirt and will relentlessly scrub anything or anyone that tries to enter the ship from the outside! If either of us tries to pass through here she will brutally scrub our every nook and cranny until we beg for mercy!!! She brushed another scout so much she nearly laughed herself to death when she got a little sand between her toes a few years ago. Look at us! You and I are completely covered in dirt! The only difference is I’m almost completely naked! And my feet are filthy!!!”, Eivah said in a distraught manner. She takes a few deep breaths and composes herself. “This is the only path into the ships interior. I need to sneak you in. Here is the plan. I’ll go in and get Moh’s attention. As I’m getting the scrubbing of my life…(eep!)…you cross the way-station and enter the ship. Got it?”, said Eivah. “Got it!”, responded Wah-Lee.
---Eivah steeled her nerves and proceeded into the way-station first while Wah-Lee stayed behind the corner and out of sight. Moh, standing in the middle like a lone sentry, waited for an opportunity to perform her duties when she eyed the scum-covered scout approaching. At first she expected nothing more than a routine “Fluff & Buff” but upon inspection of the returning scout she was completely covered in muck. Moh’s eyes became wide and bloodshot as she also noticed that every step the scout took produced a dirty footprint in her wake. She winced when she smelled the foul stench of the garbage she had been bombarded with earlier. Eivah on the other hand whistled anxiously as she slowly tried to make her way passed the seemingly dumbstruck Moh. She was more than half the way through when Moh made a strafing step to the side and put herself directly in Eivah’s path. “Oh! H-Hello Moh. I did not…notice…you there…”, she nervously said. She closed her eyes and gave a polite bow. When she opened them again Moh seemed transfixed on her visage! She could actually perceive a warm sensation on her face. She began thinking the stare she was receiving from Moh could have melted a hole in a 1-inch thick steel plate! “Dirty…”, said Moh. “I trust you are in good health…”, said Eivah. Moh ignored her pleasantries entirely, her gaze traveled down Eivah’s body taking the warm sensation with it. “Dirty… Dirty…”, said Moh. “Heh…heh… uh read any good books lately?”, Eivah said nervously. Moh gaze traveled down to her feet. They were stained by mud, had ample amounts of dirt between her ample toes and under her nails. “SO DIRTY!”, exclaimed Moh. Eivah tried to at least calm Moh down, but she knew all to well how this situation was going to end. She backed up and slowly retreated as mechanical tentacles emerged from Moh’s back which in turn produced brushes of every size and shape. Finally Moh yelled, “This won’t do, not one little bit! No! No! Won’t do at ALL!” The mechanized tentacles coil around and ensnare Eivah as Moh closes in with her brushes. Eivah is then introduced to a bristly HELL!!! With NO regard to the tender flesh underneath it all, Moh ferociously attacks the dirt all over Eivah’s body! Big and small brushes, some hard some soft, glided over Eivah exposed and vulnerable skin over and over again as Eivah bawled for mercy! She was simultaneously shampooed, bathed, manicured, and pedicured! “Bwahaha haha ha, M-MOH! P-Pfft-PLEASE! NO MORE! I CA-HA HA HA-AN’T TAKE IT! I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! HE HE HE HA HA HA!!!”, screamed Eivah. Again Moh ignored the anguished cries of the dirty scout, she was wholly focused on destroying the filth on her body. After 30 minutes of non-stop cleaning and polishing, Eivah now laid unconscious on the ground sparkling from head to toe. Moh stands over the scout fully satisfied with her work. She proceeds to signal a team to come and retrieve her. The recovery team comes in, puts Eivah on a hovering gurney, and carries her inside. Moh turns around intent to resume her post in the center of the way-station when she sees another set of dirty tracks stretching straight from one end to the other. Moh eyes once again become wide and bloodshot. She looks at the tracks again and again in disbelief. It was obvious that someone had snuck past her, but who? There was only supposed to be one scout coming in. It was a long while since she last left her pristine way-station, but she felt duty bound to pursue the “source” of the dirt and clean it. She gathered her best cleaning supplies and began the Hunt.
