A wedding occurred, just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone got drunk and the bride's and groom's families had a storming row and began wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other. The Police got called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appeared in court. The fight continued in the court room until the Judge finally brought calm with the use of his hammer, shouting "Silence in Court!". The court room went silent and Paddy (the best man) stood up and said, "Judge.. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened." The Judge agreed and asked Paddy to take the stand.
Paddy began his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride. "Well", continued Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the Groom leaped over the table, ran towards us, and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates."
The Judge instantly responded: "God.. that must have hurt!"
Paddy replied, "HURT!.. He broke three of my bloody fingers.
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A newlywed couple were preparing to have sex on their wedding night. Just before they were going to get undressed, the bride says to her husband. "I have got something to confess". "I don't care what it is honey, no matter what, I will always love you", replied her husband. "What is it". "I have got a very flat chest", confessed the bride, and began to take her clothes off.
Her husband then said, "That's okay honey, it is pretty flat, but I still love you, we can work through this. The husband then said, "since we are talking about confessions, I must confess something to you.
The bride then said "What is it honey, I'll always love you no matter what it is. The husband then replied, "I'm like a Baby down below", and proceeded to take his trousers off.
His new wife fainted and awoke a few minutes later. She was lost for words, and simply just said "a Baby"
"Yeh! 7 pounds, 21 inches!!"
The following week, all members of both families appeared in court. The fight continued in the court room until the Judge finally brought calm with the use of his hammer, shouting "Silence in Court!". The court room went silent and Paddy (the best man) stood up and said, "Judge.. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened." The Judge agreed and asked Paddy to take the stand.
Paddy began his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride. "Well", continued Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song, when all of a sudden the Groom leaped over the table, ran towards us, and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates."
The Judge instantly responded: "God.. that must have hurt!"
Paddy replied, "HURT!.. He broke three of my bloody fingers.
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A newlywed couple were preparing to have sex on their wedding night. Just before they were going to get undressed, the bride says to her husband. "I have got something to confess". "I don't care what it is honey, no matter what, I will always love you", replied her husband. "What is it". "I have got a very flat chest", confessed the bride, and began to take her clothes off.
Her husband then said, "That's okay honey, it is pretty flat, but I still love you, we can work through this. The husband then said, "since we are talking about confessions, I must confess something to you.
The bride then said "What is it honey, I'll always love you no matter what it is. The husband then replied, "I'm like a Baby down below", and proceeded to take his trousers off.
His new wife fainted and awoke a few minutes later. She was lost for words, and simply just said "a Baby"
"Yeh! 7 pounds, 21 inches!!"
