What do I do?!?!?

[LeatherTrap]

Well, this is the first time I've been on the boards in months. The reason?

Well, I met this girl. She is so awesome. If I looked for a million years, I can't imagine finding anyone like her. And she seems to have a faint interest in me. 🙄

As I am apt to do when pursuing a lady's interest, I tend to exhibit chivalristic behavior. This includes banning myself even the thought of another desirable person. I devote 100% of my interest to her and her alone.

In doing so, I decided it would not be very chivalrous of me to be oogling over these boards and have since meeting her kept away from the boards. I've also quite writing and drawing pictures for my unresponsive tickling homepage.

But now I'm beginning to wonder how interested she is in me. We talk very rarely, as our schedules do clash a bit. And after not talking to or hearing form her for over a week, I ran into her today and she barely gave me a minute to catch up. I know she is very busy, but it was really depressing.

So anyways, back on track, is it wrong to endulge myself in these boards and in writing and drawing media fitting of these boards while trying to win her affection? It is rare (20yo and this would be my second relationship...) for me to have a relationship like this, and I don't want to befowl it or screw it up. And yet, should I keep myself happy in the midst of feeling like I'm failing miserably again.

Any input would be appreciated. I'll check back a soon as I can. Thanks for your help.

(P.S. (not really) My website hasn't been updated for a long time not only because of my sought out relationship, but also because the server I host it on has been doing several months worth of redesigning. Once they've got their act together, I'll be able to get my website up to date.)

 

[Eternal Tomboy]

I have two points of advice to pass along to you...

The first is that in the early stages of a relationship, it is very rarely expected for anyone to devoted themselves ENTIRELY to the other person involved. I don't know about any other girls here, so I can only speak for myself, but when I see that a guy is 100% devoted to me from the get go, I get very scared. I think that a nice slow warm up is usually preferred, and if you come on too strong in your pursuits of this girl, you might end up chasing her off. If you want to display "chivaristic behavior", then open some doors for her and help her on with her coat 🙂 Save the hopeless devotion for after the honeymoon (lol).

And to answer the real question that you posted, I would say that there is nothing wrong with watching the boards and allowing yourself your own creative outlet of writing and drawing. You need to satisfy yourself, and only by doing that can you then in turn make someone else happy. That may sound selfish, but think it's true.
I've been married for almost 7 years, and I also have a small child. Even though I take care of my family on a daily basis, I also take time everyday just for me. It's not a luxury, it's a necessity. If you feel good writing and drawing, then I don't care what the subject is about, DO IT! It doesn't mean that you care for this girl any less or that you're somehow being disloyal to her, and besides, I'm pretty sure that she isn't giving up parts of who she is just to be with you. Think about it.

Don't ever sacrifice who and what you are (or what you love to do) for someone else...it will make you miserable, and in the long run it will make the other person lose respect for you. Any girl you're with should stick by you no matter what you like to do, and if they don't, then they weren't worth worrying about anyway. First and foremost, stay true to yourself....the rest will fall in line.

Maggie

 

[mabus]

I say, say on the board, even if it does work out. Are you looking for other women on here? If no, then what's the problem?

The big problem with relationships and the net is guys and girls having a spouse or "loved one" in the real world, and then they go looking for someone else in a chat room or on a forum. Then they begin an affair and now have another partner on the internet.

If she's against tickling, you better find out fast. If she thinks it is weird, well, that will cause a lot of friction in your relationship. I mean, you can leave this forum, but you will still be a ticklephile. One day you will want to tickle her, and if she refuses, and/or belittles you about it, that will cause a rift in your relationship. Relationships are about accepting the whole person. If this is a big part of you, and is important to you, and she rejects it, you will eventually break up. Or, you will start looking for someone who will accept you, and that will lead to an affair, in real life or internet life. There are plenty of married people on the board, or people in a relationship who come here, and this place doesn't cause a problem.

But after all you said, sadly, it doesn't seem she is very interested in you. She may have just been too busy, but it sorta kinda sounds like she doesn't care, but I don't know. You might need to ask her for a few more minutes of her time, tell her how you feel about her, and see if she is truly interested or not. If the cycle you described continues, you may waste years pursuing her, and then one day she'll say, "Hey, I got a boyfriend!" and you will have lost many chances over those years finding someone who cares about YOU. I really wish you luck, and hope you find love, if not with her, with someone else.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Leathetrap

Listen bro...no long story from me. I will make it simple easy and right to the heart.

BE YOU.

Everything else will fall into place eventually.
Time...patience, a PINCH of persistance and a dash of confidence, lots of honesty and sencerity.

Main ingerediant.....BE YOU.


No matter what anyone out there says or tells you to do or how you should be......just be who you are and who YOU want to be.

TTD



Geeeeeze...20 years old and a delima already , I remember vagely, 20.
I have scars that are older!😉 🙄 😀

 

[houdini]

LT,
Not to rain on your parade, so to speak, but if this woman felt the same way about you, as you do about her.....well she would make time. Or at the very least, make the time when the 2 of you are together as special as possible.
I have to agree with daisycrazy5496 and say too much....too soon...can be harmful. Most importantly, DON"T GIVE UP BEING YOU. If she takes you, she takes ALL of YOU....not just the parts of you that interest her. Good Luck my friend and remember....you're young take your time. 🙂

 

[LeatherTrap]

Thank you all for the reply. There's some good adivice here. Some real good advice.

I don't think I'm coming on too strong on this girl. (I know my devotion is weird and try to curb how much I show it to people.) The biggest problem is she is currently in the proccess of graduating college, so she spends a lot of time at school and doing homework. So I can't tell if she's busy or "busy", ya know?

As far as continuing to frequent these boards and continue to produce original media, I think your advice is top-notch. I'll start up again soon, though the server I host on is still futzting around so I won't be able to upload anything until they get their act together...

In no way do I mean any disrespect to you, TickledToDeath, but although 20 years may be a memory to you, I'm currently living it. I barely remember the problems I had when I was 15, so I understand how "time heals all wounds".
Nevertheless, It has seemed like a long (lonely) 20 years. I keep on doing the math in my head. Should I live to be 100, I've already spend 1/5 of my life alone. If I die at 80, that's one quarter of my life I can never go back to. If I'm unluck and check out at only 40, half of my life has been had. Of course I can't really count those years as a child, but I still can't help thinking this way.

I always figured I'd be married by my mid twenties. The way my life has gone thus far, I'm hoping I'm married before my 35th birthday.

Thank you again for all the advice. I'll try to keep everything you've told me in mind.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

this is simple

Now, I'm no relationship guru and i am pretty new to the forum but this seems like a relatively easy one so i might as well get my feet wet 🙂

I think it's great that you can be so passionate and devoted to one woman, believe me that's a GOOD quality! 🙂 But you need to be devoted to yourself and keeping yourself happy first! There's no shame or blame in doing what you want to do. Live for yourself and you're happiness rather than someone else's and if it's meant to be between the two of you, you'll know when it's time to start showering her with love and affection 🙂