Why Are You Afraid Of Being Associated With This Site Publicly?

[kcantankerous]

Hello,

I know the generic responses, "because it is no one's business," "I don't want to be judged," etc. What I am looking for is some detail. Specifically, who are you concerned that friends, coworker's and family may find out you belong to this site? I'll answer when I more clearly can crystallize my thoughts.

Thanks,

K

 

[OmahaTickler]

Because they just would not understand, or else they would jump to the wrong conclusions, and why should I go through the awkwardness and discomfort of that? Then wonder if they would ever view me the same way again? People have pre-conceived notions, and they're usually hard-wired.

 

[The Internet]

Because they just would not understand, or else they would jump to the wrong conclusions, and why should I go through the awkwardness and discomfort of that? Then wonder if they would ever view me the same way again? People have pre-conceived notions, and they're usually hard-wired.

Absolutely this. To be honest, a lot of people associate this phenomenon with kids, not flirtatious behavior. I know my brother (who has always known about this "thing") and my sister-in-law (who he probably told) yell at their kids if they even mention the word tickling around me. (for the record, the thought of anything to do with kids makes me want to puke.)

Aside from that, I'm a guy, and guys are already looked upon as perpetually horny and dog-like, so any kind of online sexual outlet, no matter what the fetish is, would be construed as "he must be a chronic masturbator" and a "pervert", not understanding at all that this is not ONLY a "jerk-off material receptacle" as some have recently put it, but it's also a "social media" site where people interact, make friends, discuss lots of stuff not related to the fetish, and seek community with others who feel the same way, sometimes even meeting in real life, sometimes even marrying.

It seems to me that most "jerk off material receptacles" are virtually entirely guys. This fetish is novel in that both sexes are represented here. I know years ago when I said as much to my then-girlfriend, she laughed and said "No they're not, Leo, that's all guys pretending to me women."

So the connotation, unfortunately, is "eww, you loser pig male! You're on the internet doing that filthy, disgusting act!" Not that it's a walk in the park for a woman to be "found out", but I think the stigma around a man's participation in any site like this immediately means he's getting off like a bonobo monkey and it's only a matter of time before he has hairy palms and sightless eyes and he shouldn't be trusted around your wives, girlfriends or daughters.

Lastly, quick anecdote: my Dad needed to use my laptop recently. Instead of clicking on Firefox, he clicked on Chrome, which I hadn't used in a while. When he clicked on it, "System Restore" went into effect, and up popped the "Ticklish Discussion" page. All of a sudden I hear from the other room: "The Tickling Media Forum?" and then, as he read the first post listed on the top of the Ticklish Discussion page, "Show Us Your Feet?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????"

Oh well. lol.

 

[milagros317]

I was afraid because my employer could have fired me under a "moral turpitude" clause, that phrase being not well defined.
Now that I am retired, I don't give a damn who knows that I am a member here.
Hence: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?275641-milagros317

 

[Comfort Eagle]

I have more concerns about being associated with some of the bizarre, childish manner some of you go about speaking of and indulging in your fetishes (most of you know what I mean) than I would be for being "on a fetish board". The website I have means like 75% of my social circle knows what I do so I have few reservations about being "outed", but if someone found this specific account and then browsed the board a little while and saw how some other posters behaved on here, I'd try and explain some of that away. I can make a good case for what I do, a lot of what you guys do, not so much...

 

[chicago]

No one is a fan of being judged harshly or rejected for things you can't control, but after I got outed, I really don't give a fuck. I have separate emails for this site and so forth, but if someone I knew came across me on this website, I really wouldn't care. If someone wants to be an asshole and compare me to creeps here or think I'm crazy or weird for liking tickling, they're probably a narrow minded **** anyway

 

[Pghtkltorture]

There are a couple reasons for me personally.

One was stated above. Yes this website provides a certain physical relief that many of us partake in, but it's not the only reason why I'm here. I've had this fetish ( and the accompanying foot fetish) for as long as I can remember. It's nice to feel like you're not alone. That there are lots of other sane, normal people in the same boat. Especially those who are in relationships where the SO does not enjoy tickling.

Like many on the TMF, the foot fetish is a package deal. This fetish has been vilified and ridiculed in pretty much every medium out there. I don't want a person to be uncomfortable to be barefoot or wear open toed shoes around me thinking I'm busting out of my shorts because their feet are in my presence.

Tickling, like nudity, is very much about context with me. I have kids and like any parent, tickling is a normal part of roughhousing, goofing around and interacting with your children. I would be terrified to have people believe that the separation doesn't exist and that me goofing around with my kids is anything remotely sexual for me.
Even with adult, a playful poke in the ribs to a friend is a lot different to me than a full on sexual tickling session.

Finally the belief that taking enough interest in something sexual outside of the bedroom is enough to paint you as a sexual deviant in many vanilla eyes.

That's all I got.

 

[Bohemianne]

There is no useful purpose of letting people know. They won't benefit from knowing it. It's none of their business.

 

[Wolf]

I guess my answer would be, why would you want everyone who knows you to know something so personal about you?

 

[milagros317]

There is no useful purpose of letting people know. They won't benefit from knowing it. It's none of their business.

That is also true. I don't bring up the subject myself. But if a friend or family member begins a discussion of non-vanilla sexual practices, then I tell the truth.

An example, from 2013. My brother and sister-in-law and I were sitting in a restaurant having already ordered dinner waiting for it to be served.

Below, I will use B for my brother's name, S for my sister-in-law, and Z for the name I use when talking about Goddess Shelly with family.

B: S is reading 50 Shades of Grey. I don't understand why it is so popular.

Me: It is one of the few BDSM novels that has crossed over into the mainstream.

B: What is BDSM?

Me: BD stands for bondage & discipline, DS stands for domination and submission, and SM stands for sadism & masochism. When you were in college, the BDSM novel that became popular and known was The Story of O by Pauline Reage.

B: I read that one, The Story of O. I don't understand why people enjoy that stuff.

Me: It can be fun with the right partner. Z and I do lots of kinky things. Nothing that leaves scars or draws blood, but definitely kinky.

S: Really?

Me: Yes. In fact, several times when I said I would be in Philadelphia for the weekend visiting Z's friends, we were attending a kinky convention there.

S: What kind of stuff do they do at a convention like that?

Me: Bondage, certainly. But not to be branded or whipped after being tied up, just to be tickled without mercy.

S: Ah.

Me: If you don't do anything kinky at all, then members of the BDSM community would call you "vanilla." That is an insult, actually.

B: I see. So you and Z are not vanilla, even though you don't do branding and whipping?

Me: Exactly.

At that point the food was delivered.

No big deal, I told the truth as needed in the conversation and didn't dwell on it.

 

[Zeezil]

There is no useful purpose of letting people know. They won't benefit from knowing it. It's none of their business.

That's as simple as it gets, and I couldn't agree more. I'd take it a step further and say I actually feel EMPOWERED that I have never, ever told anyone about it, and don't ever plan to. I've never even told my loving wife, who I think kinda knows but has never flat out called me out on it (which makes me love her more.) It's my one secret that will go to my grave, and because it's never been "out" there, it's secure inside me. It's my One Big Secret, safe inside me forever. I cherish it.

That being said, I'm not judging at all anyone else who doesn't mind telling people about theirs. Whatever works for people. I can just remember in college I had a friend who was very open about his foot fetish (I've got one of those too, ha ha). It worked for him sometimes, but there were other times when he was publicly embarrassed about it, and it didn't go well. And once it's out, there's no putting it back in.

 

[chicago]

Lol to clarify what I said earlier, there are some people like friends, family, coworkers that don't need to know and telling them would probably be out of line. I can't imagine going my whole life not sharing this with significant others though. Definitely couldn't go without indulging it on the regular.

 

[TKLVR18]

Because I aim to work in a school. Nuff said.

~K

 

[arachnid95]

There are already three people in my life who are aware of my tickle kink. One of them doesn't care, and bless him for that.
The other two mock and ridicule me relentlessly every time the T word comes up.
Watching some cartoons and a tickle scene comes on? "Oooooh, hey Miiiiichael, look! It's your fetish! Does that turn you on? You gettin' hoooooorny?"
Playing with my kid brother and a playful tickle fight breaks out? "Ewwwww, don't do that! I know you're into that! That's like--incest!"
Fuck that shit. I don't need this in my life. It's bad enough that those two individuals are aware of it; the last thing I need is for more people to find out about it and react the same way. Or for those same two people to find out that I draw and write fetish stuff, and that I frequent forums like this one. Just more fuel for their judgmental fire...

 

[Wolf]

There are already three people in my life who are aware of my tickle kink. One of them doesn't care, and bless him for that.
The other two mock and ridicule me relentlessly every time the T word comes up.
Watching some cartoons and a tickle scene comes on? "Oooooh, hey Miiiiichael, look! It's your fetish! Does that turn you on? You gettin' hoooooorny?"
Playing with my kid brother and a playful tickle fight breaks out? "Ewwwww, don't do that! I know you're into that! That's like--incest!"
Fuck that shit. I don't need this in my life. It's bad enough that those two individuals are aware of it; the last thing I need is for more people to find out about it and react the same way. Or for those same two people to find out that I draw and write fetish stuff, and that I frequent forums like this one. Just more fuel for their judgmental fire...

Damn, that's awful.

 

[a7hgsir4h3jk]

There are already three people in my life who are aware of my tickle kink. One of them doesn't care, and bless him for that.
The other two mock and ridicule me relentlessly every time the T word comes up.
Watching some cartoons and a tickle scene comes on? "Oooooh, hey Miiiiichael, look! It's your fetish! Does that turn you on? You gettin' hoooooorny?"
Playing with my kid brother and a playful tickle fight breaks out? "Ewwwww, don't do that! I know you're into that! That's like--incest!"
Fuck that shit. I don't need this in my life. It's bad enough that those two individuals are aware of it; the last thing I need is for more people to find out about it and react the same way. Or for those same two people to find out that I draw and write fetish stuff, and that I frequent forums like this one. Just more fuel for their judgmental fire...

Awww, bubba! That sounds like a complete nightmare!

How did they even find out?

 

[piyr]

People will use it to their advantage even if they wouldn't ordinarily give a shit. You become marginalized for no apparent reason. Your loss equals their gain. Let your secret out in a professional environment and see what happens.

 

[maniactickler]

Because its a silly, embarrassing fetish. 😱

 

[duderino84]

Because I look at my sex life as a bunch of baggage that doesn't really fit anywhere.

I don't care to be known on any forum anymore, really. The Internet is not a real place to a large chunk of the population.

Basically what I'm getting to is that it's hard to have productive communications with people when it's established you're out of "the norm". My friends I've actually played in bands with, for example, know I'm into a shit load of death metal, noise variety of music, you know, stuff you don't learn and perform overnight. A (almost) constant learning curve that winds in every direction. So I'll try to share things and it just turns to bullshit memes. I know that basically I ruined any chance of intelligent conversation by demonstrating I know anything additional compared to other people.

 

[Wolf]

Because I look at my sex life as a bunch of baggage that doesn't really fit anywhere.

I don't care to be known on any forum anymore, really. The Internet is not a real place to a large chunk of the population.

Basically what I'm getting to is that it's hard to have productive communications with people when it's established you're out of "the norm". My friends I've actually played in bands with, for example, know I'm into a shit load of death metal, noise variety of music, you know, stuff you don't learn and perform overnight. A (almost) constant learning curve that winds in every direction. So I'll try to share things and it just turns to bullshit memes. I know that basically I ruined any chance of intelligent conversation by demonstrating I know anything additional compared to other people.

What?

 

[duderino84]

Let's simplify it with "people fear the unknown".

 

[Wolf]

Let's simplify it with "people fear the unknown".

Oh, you're talking about trying to broaden other people's horizons.
Tougher to do if you're not comfortable telling them. But everyone's boundaries are their own business.

 

[duderino84]

Oh, you're talking about trying to broaden other people's horizons.
Tougher to do if you're not comfortable telling them. But everyone's boundaries are their own business.

No. ...tough to do in general. You can't influence people who say "just want to have fun" to learn that learning IS fun. But lowered expectations I guess.

On the fetish, I had a couple people ask "how could you be into tickling?" And the usual aggressive line of questioning. Add in that most people "HATE BEING TICKLED!" and I'm just shutting up about it. I make it about anything else other than thinking about tickling a person I'm attracted to.

 

[chicago]

People will use it to their advantage even if they wouldn't ordinarily give a shit. You become marginalized for no apparent reason. Your loss equals their gain. Let your secret out in a professional environment and see what happens.

Not true. While I wouldn't share the info at a job, I don't think everyone is out to ridicule people.

Because its a silly, embarrassing fetish. 😱

Also false, but that is sad you feel that way.

No. ...tough to do in general. You can't influence people who say "just want to have fun" to learn that learning IS fun. But lowered expectations I guess.

On the fetish, I had a couple people ask "how could you be into tickling?" And the usual aggressive line of questioning. Add in that most people "HATE BEING TICKLED!" and I'm just shutting up about it. I make it about anything else other than thinking about tickling a person I'm attracted to.

I feel like those people don't understand how kink develops and you could compare it yo being gay or bi in that it's not like you can control what turns you on.

 

[Wolf]

No. ...tough to do in general. You can't influence people who say "just want to have fun" to learn that learning IS fun. But lowered expectations I guess.

On the fetish, I had a couple people ask "how could you be into tickling?" And the usual aggressive line of questioning. Add in that most people "HATE BEING TICKLED!" and I'm just shutting up about it. I make it about anything else other than thinking about tickling a person I'm attracted to.

I think the whole "XXXX says she hates being tickled" needs to be taken in context. I know a lot of women who don't like other people (outside of the ones they're close to) putting their hands on them without permission, which is kind of what most people think of when they say that.
Let's face it, a lot of guys (who don't have a fetish) use tickling to try and cop a feel.
A lot of those same women loved being tickled, when they felt safe.