39 reasons why cucumbers are better than men:
1. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
2. A cucumber won't tell you "size doesn't count."
3. cucumbers are very easy to pick-up.
4. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket.
5. ...and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
6. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
7. With a cucumber you can get a single room.
8. ...and you won't have to register as "Mrs. Cucumber."
9. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
10. A cucumber won't ask you "Am I your first?"
11. Cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin.
12. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers that you are a
virgin.
13. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin
anymore.
14. With cucumbers you don't have to be a virgin more than
once.
15. A cucumber will never leave you for:
a. another woman
b. another man
c. another cucumber
16. A cucumber never:
a. snaps your bra
b. pinch your butt
c. gives you a snuggy
17. You always know where your cucumber has been.
18. A cucumber never has to "call the wife."
19. Cucumbers don't have mid-life crises.
20. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find
themselves.
21. You won't find out later your cucumber:
a. is married
b. is on penicillin
c. likes you but loves your sister.
22. A cucumber won't ask for a transfer just when you're up
for promotion.
23. cucumbers don't care if you make more money than
they do.
24. You won't have to wait until half time to talk to your
cucumber.
25. Your cucumber won't make you wear kinky clothes.
26. You only eat cucumber when you feel like it.
27. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
28. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are
other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
29. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when
your mother comes over.
30. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh
cucumber.
31. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
32. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover.
35. ...or speculate about your next.
36. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for
them.
37. A cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you
intellectually.
38. A cucumber will never:
a.contest a divorce.
b. demand a property settlement
c. seek custody of anything.
39. No matter how you slice it, you can have your cucumber
and eat it to.
1. Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
2. A cucumber won't tell you "size doesn't count."
3. cucumbers are very easy to pick-up.
4. You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket.
5. ...and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
6. Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
7. With a cucumber you can get a single room.
8. ...and you won't have to register as "Mrs. Cucumber."
9. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
10. A cucumber won't ask you "Am I your first?"
11. Cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin.
12. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers that you are a
virgin.
13. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin
anymore.
14. With cucumbers you don't have to be a virgin more than
once.
15. A cucumber will never leave you for:
a. another woman
b. another man
c. another cucumber
16. A cucumber never:
a. snaps your bra
b. pinch your butt
c. gives you a snuggy
17. You always know where your cucumber has been.
18. A cucumber never has to "call the wife."
19. Cucumbers don't have mid-life crises.
20. Cucumbers don't play the guitar and try to find
themselves.
21. You won't find out later your cucumber:
a. is married
b. is on penicillin
c. likes you but loves your sister.
22. A cucumber won't ask for a transfer just when you're up
for promotion.
23. cucumbers don't care if you make more money than
they do.
24. You won't have to wait until half time to talk to your
cucumber.
25. Your cucumber won't make you wear kinky clothes.
26. You only eat cucumber when you feel like it.
27. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
28. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are
other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
29. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when
your mother comes over.
30. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh
cucumber.
31. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
32. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover.
35. ...or speculate about your next.
36. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for
them.
37. A cucumber won't tell you he's outgrown you
intellectually.
38. A cucumber will never:
a.contest a divorce.
b. demand a property settlement
c. seek custody of anything.
39. No matter how you slice it, you can have your cucumber
and eat it to.
