Why do people make such a big deal over tickling? it's just part of intimacy....

[TickleTexGirl]

People have been tickling each other, romantically, flirting, etc forever. Its no big deal... it arouses, causes laughter and joy, and makes sense more intense. I expect a guy to tickle me while kissing, as 4play, and in bed when we get serious. I will tease him for sure, and know exactly where hes ticklish before we become sexual. When and if we do, I will totally have fun with that spot on his tummy, foot, underarm, butt as we make love. And if he does not tickle me too, I'll let him Know "I'm tickling my feet" as we make love... or reverse and place my foot in his mouth. My the times its serious, you know how your lover will respond... its that simple, to me. No drama, no out of closet...just amazing pleasure to make the good really fun and good.

Drop hints, wiggle toes, tickle as u kiss, find his /her spots, and if they dont likey... wrong person friends.

Love it... or find another lover.

TTG

 

[maniactickler]

Playful tickling is acceptable. tickling as a hard core fetish is considered weird.

 

[milagros317]

It shouldn't be a big deal. It can become a big deal if you do it too much or if you insist on it or if the male can't get an erection without it.

 

[Wolf]

It's not a big deal, to most people; even if someone has a fetish, and wants/needs it to become sexually aroused.
But when someone doesn't want to have sex (for whatever reason), and prefers just to tickle (and maybe masturbate), some people can find that off-putting.

 

[duderino84]

Why do they make a big deal about it? Because often times you don't find the "right" people out there, that don't want the compromise. That's it.

 

[Wolf]

Why do they make a big deal about it? Because often times you don't find the "right" people out there, that don't want the compromise. That's it.

What compromise?

 

[duderino84]

What compromise?

The compromise of having someone to spend time with in exchange for being tickled? A lot of people can't/won't/don't want anything to do with it, no matter how you finesse it.

 

[Wolf]

The compromise of having someone to spend time with in exchange for being tickled? A lot of people can't/won't/don't want anything to do with it, no matter how you finesse it.

That sounds like their only worth is as a masturbatory aid; like they'd be alone if they didn't let someone tickle them.
Do you really think there are people like that?

 

[duderino84]

That sounds like their only worth is as a masturbatory aid; like they'd be alone if they didn't let someone tickle them.
Do you really think there are people like that?

This is not relevant to the topic of discussion. How you and I view people (which I know you're simply trying to generate argument) will be different. This is based on our own histories and assessments of people from the past that shape the future.

Now to actually contribute to the thread. The topic is "intimacy". People share "intimacy" here by tickling. If you meet someone who does not prefer tickling, your "intimacy" is diminished. You aren't as "appealing" to the other person because you want to tickle.

People can do whatever the fuck they want. Thanks for playing.

 

[Wolf]

This is not relevant to the topic of discussion. How you and I view people (which I know you're simply trying to generate argument) will be different. This is based on our own histories and assessments of people from the past that shape the future.
Now to actually contribute to the thread. The topic is "intimacy". People share "intimacy" here by tickling. If you meet someone who does not prefer tickling, your "intimacy" is diminished. You aren't as "appealing" to the other person because you want to tickle.
People can do whatever the fuck they want. Thanks for playing.

Of course they can. Of course, if they want to be happy, they might try communicating with partners or prospective partners.
And there are a lot more ways to share intimacy than just by tickling. Not everyone here is so binary, either.

 

[duderino84]

Of course they can. Of course, if they want to be happy, they might try communicating with partners or prospective partners.

But there really isn't anything to discuss. If someone doesn't want to be tickled, it's not a suggestion, it means they don't want to be tickled. What am I supposed to do, bribe them? At that point, people work in their own direction of interests.

If people don't want to collaborate, there's nothing to share. That's kind of the allure of relating to people. If someone likes having their feet massaged, it's a potential in. If someone likes cuddling, it's a potential in. But that doesn't make the physical exchange of tickling welcome.

A lot of this "you can get _____ to like tickling" business is the idea that a few quick fixes will get someone to conform when really, the only reason they give a shit about it is because it gets the person they're seeing horny.

 

[Wolf]

But there really isn't anything to discuss. If someone doesn't want to be tickled, it's not a suggestion, it means they don't want to be tickled. What am I supposed to do, bribe them? At that point, people work in their own direction of interests.
If people don't want to collaborate, there's nothing to share.

You've never met someone who didn't want to be tickled because someone else had been creepy, or overdone it?
Like I said, no one's that binary, and sometimes, people need to feel comfortable about something before jumping into it.

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

I think the main issue is you have people who cannot control themselves and tend to think they can tickle anyone they want in an act to fill their fantasies or desire to tickle others. I mean I've heard stories at times of people who just tickle random people and people forget you can't just go around tickling anyone you want. Tickling is fun and everyone should be opened minded about it, but it also has to do with relationship. Some people really hate to be tickled and others ignore that fact. Some have had bad experiences and people ignore that too. There are many aspects to why people make a big deal over tickling. Not everyone enjoys it, some people find it weird or uncomfortable and a lot of people in the fetish community like to force their desires upon people and it makes a bad image. I mean the same can be said about people with foot fetishes and I've seen and heard many stories of people just licking random women's feet, had people call into work wanting to take pictures of a person's foot, so people tend to think its creepy, same thing goes with tickling.

 

[duderino84]

You've never met someone who didn't want to be tickled because someone else had been creepy, or overdone it?
Like I said, no one's that binary, and sometimes, people need to feel comfortable about something before jumping into it.

That's a cause for someone to dislike tickling. The other cause is the sensation being too intense. Another reason people don't like it is because they feel it weakens their personality to the person doing the tickling.

Sure people need to be comfortable with someone before doing anything with them, but is that really worth it? Some people simply talk to you because they like the attention. It crafts a very reactive (as opposed to proactive) relationship. If you wanted to see someone who was a 10 but didn't like tickling at all but knew someone else who was an 8 to you and loved tickling, which would you take? Would you try to make the 10 "comfortable" when you had a window of opportunity wide open? How would you know that your efforts to make someone else comfortable weren't wasted?

I think the main issue is you have people who cannot control themselves and tend to think they can tickle anyone they want in an act to fill their fantasies or desire to tickle others. I mean I've heard stories at times of people who just tickle random people and people forget you can't just go around tickling anyone you want. Tickling is fun and everyone should be opened minded about it, but it also has to do with relationship. Some people really hate to be tickled and others ignore that fact. Some have had bad experiences and people ignore that too. There are many aspects to why people make a big deal over tickling. Not everyone enjoys it, some people find it weird or uncomfortable and a lot of people in the fetish community like to force their desires upon people and it makes a bad image. I mean the same can be said about people with foot fetishes and I've seen and heard many stories of people just licking random women's feet, had people call into work wanting to take pictures of a person's foot, so people tend to think its creepy, same thing goes with tickling.

I think you just need to acclimate to it and get comfortable 😉. But yea, there's a lot of lessons to be learned in the fetish world about how people see your kink. I mean shit, I thought the long hair thing was a big deal to women, the tickling outweighed it.

 

[Wolf]

That's a cause for someone to dislike tickling. The other cause is the sensation being too intense. Another reason people don't like it is because they feel it weakens their personality to the person doing the tickling.

Sure people need to be comfortable with someone before doing anything with them, but is that really worth it? Some people simply talk to you because they like the attention. It crafts a very reactive (as opposed to proactive) relationship. If you wanted to see someone who was a 10 but didn't like tickling at all but knew someone else who was an 8 to you and loved tickling, which would you take? Would you try to make the 10 "comfortable" when you had a window of opportunity wide open? How would you know that your efforts to make someone else comfortable weren't wasted?

People have all kinds of reactions to tickling. Even people who really, really, really enjoy it. I've known people who loved it, but didn't like being touched by people they didn't know very well.
Relationships aren't a zero-sum game. I don't see how getting to know anyone is wasted effort.
And I thought that whole 0-10 rating system went out in the 80's. You either find people attractive, or you don't.
Numbering them is more about how worried you are about how other people will view them.

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

People have all kinds of reactions to tickling. Even people who really, really, really enjoy it. I've known people who loved it, but didn't like being touched by people they didn't know very well.
Relationships aren't a zero-sum game. I don't see how getting to know anyone is wasted effort.
And I thought that whole 0-10 rating system went out in the 80's. You either find people attractive, or you don't.
Numbering them is more about how worried you are about how other people will view them.

sums it up in a nutshell

 

[duderino84]

People have all kinds of reactions to tickling. Even people who really, really, really enjoy it. I've known people who loved it, but didn't like being touched by people they didn't know very well.
Relationships aren't a zero-sum game. I don't see how getting to know anyone is wasted effort.
And I thought that whole 0-10 rating system went out in the 80's. You either find people attractive, or you don't.
Numbering them is more about how worried you are about how other people will view them.

Well, transplanting a bit of conversation from the "industry" thread, who sees you now is much more of a "topic" than the person now. Like I said, "reactive relationships" are not that great. Some people just want someone to show them attention and to feed them back one word responses to legitimate efforts for conversation and learning about a person. That's "wasted", is it not? Dealing with someone who doesn't give much of a shit about you?

Was the 80s when you got married? Because it's stayed around forever. The rating system was used as an example. Either way, you never answered the question.

The best reason I can give for bringing up the rating system is because to me, there's the "real world" and the "ideal world".....You choose which one you want.

 

[Wolf]

Well, transplanting a bit of conversation from the "industry" thread, who sees you now is much more of a "topic" than the person now. Like I said, "reactive relationships" are not that great. Some people just want someone to show them attention and to feed them back one word responses to legitimate efforts for conversation and learning about a person. That's "wasted", is it not? Dealing with someone who doesn't give much of a shit about you?
Was the 80s when you got married? Because it's stayed around forever. The rating system was used as an example. Either way, you never answered the question.
The best reason I can give for bringing up the rating system is because to me, there's the "real world" and the "ideal world".....You choose which one you want.

The world as you see it, you mean. Everyone has their own perceptions.
Assuming your own personal perspective is "the real world" is kind of assuming you know everything.
As for your question, it's moot, because I don't rate people like that. They're attractive, or they're not. And attractiveness is so much more than physical. That's just one part of it.
Anyway, to follow your lead, back to point: Tickling is only as big a deal as you make it. If you're willing to trash a relationship over not having things precisely the way you want, that's a big deal.

 

[duderino84]

The world as you see it, you mean. Everyone has their own perceptions.
Assuming your own personal perspective is "the real world" is kind of assuming you know everything.
As for your question, it's moot, because I don't rate people like that. They're attractive, or they're not. And attractiveness is so much more than physical. That's just one part of it.
Anyway, to follow your lead, back to point: Tickling is only as big a deal as you make it. If you're willing to trash a relationship over not having things precisely the way you want, that's a big deal.

Yea but if you knew someone that liked tickling more than someone else that didn't like tickling, wouldn't you just go for the one who liked it?

As for all this "real world" buffoonery, alright, let me clarify it as a matter of what's feasible and what's fantasy.

You can't "make" someone "like" what you like. Regardless of how "open" we should all be towards each other, everyone's in it for their own carnal interest.

 

[Wolf]

Yea but if you knew someone that liked tickling more than someone else that didn't like tickling, wouldn't you just go for the one who liked it?

As for all this "real world" buffoonery, alright, let me clarify it as a matter of what's feasible and what's fantasy.

You can't "make" someone "like" what you like. Regardless of how "open" we should all be towards each other, everyone's in it for their own carnal interest.

Hell, man, people can get their carnal interests satisfied anywhere.
You're judging people by your own viewpoint.

 

[duderino84]

Hell, man, people can get their carnal interests satisfied anywhere.
You're judging people by your own viewpoint.

All I got these days.

 

[Wolf]

All I got these days.

How's that working out so far, then?

 

[duderino84]

How's that working out so far, then?

Not as bad as you'd think. Talking to a few girls on and off.

 

[Wolf]

Not as bad as you'd think. Talking to a few girls on and off.

I don't think it's bad. I don't know.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

its never been sexual for me