giantfan121262
1st Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- Oct 6, 2003
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this is for all you parents out there
Read the the last sentence of the first paragraph and you may take some solace when you don't get the response you want from your child (myself included)
Anyway, here it is
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you
chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God
saw His children having an apple break and He was not happy! "Didn't I tell you
not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did
you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!" "Did to!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the
pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE
STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY! Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO
WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN"
Read the the last sentence of the first paragraph and you may take some solace when you don't get the response you want from your child (myself included)
Anyway, here it is
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you
chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied. "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!" "No Way!" "Yes way!" "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God. "Why"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God
saw His children having an apple break and He was not happy! "Didn't I tell you
not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam replied. "Then why did
you?" said the Father. "I don't know," said Eve. "She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!" "Did to!" "DID NOT!" Having had it with the two of them, God's
punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the
pattern was set and it has never changed. BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE
STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom
and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble
raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that
there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY! Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO
WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN"
