Women of TMF, how do you really feel about being approached and hit on?

[A/S/H]

I've never really been a good conversation starter, and I'm somewhat shy when it comes to flirting and all that, so I've always been a little afraid to go up to women to try and get to know them. Now, as I'm getting older, it isn't getting easier. I keep hearing more and more that women don't really like to be hit on as they are hit on multiple times throughout their day. Now, not only am I too shy, but I'm also really worried about being arrested or assaulted, or both. Is it true that women don't like being hit on? How do you all feel about it? Should I just bite the bullet and go for it or would I have more luck waiting for the right situation to arise for me to get to know a woman? Or better yet, would I have more luck trying to meet women on this forum? Thanks in advance for any helpful advice.

 

[Wolf]

I've never really been a good conversation starter, and I'm somewhat shy when it comes to flirting and all that, so I've always been a little afraid to go up to women to try and get to know them. Now, as I'm getting older, it isn't getting easier. I keep hearing more and more that women don't really like to be hit on as they are hit on multiple times throughout their day. Now, not only am I too shy, but I'm also really worried about being arrested or assaulted, or both. Is it true that women don't like being hit on? How do you all feel about it? Should I just bite the bullet and go for it or would I have more luck waiting for the right situation to arise for me to get to know a woman? Or better yet, would I have more luck trying to meet women on this forum? Thanks in advance for any helpful advice.

I've always found that by talking to a woman (you know, like a person, who has thoughts and opinions and feelings about stuff other than whether they're going to be hit on), they will let you know without question when they want to be hit on. And in my opinion, looking for a woman on this forum is a fool's pursuit; the vast majority of the good ones are taken. Your odds are much better in the real world.

 

[chicago]

Personally, I hate it. When someone comes on to me, especially here, 9 times out of 10,its for no other reason than I'm female and / or what I look like. This translates to me that my personality and intelligence are unimportant and that's frustrating. Not that I'm even in the market to be getting hit on, but it'd be cool to feel like someone wanted to be my friend based on me, not the trivial shit.

 

[maniactickler]

Chicago, ive always been your friend based on your personality. your looks and ticklishness are not important to me.

 

[A/S/H]

Personally, I hate it. When someone comes on to me, especially here, 9 times out of 10,its for no other reason than I'm female and / or what I look like. This translates to me that my personality and intelligence are unimportant and that's frustrating. Not that I'm even in the market to be getting hit on, but it'd be cool to feel like someone wanted to be my friend based on me, not the trivial shit.

Huh, that makes sense. I guess I never really thought about it that way,that there's a difference between hitting on someone and just starting a conversation. Damn, now I feel kinda slow lol. It just seems so obvious now. Thanks for your input. You too Wolf.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

The best advice I can give you is to first and foremost - get rid of that God awful sig picture. I'm not saying this to be a prick. I'm seriously trying to help. Your sig picture should be representative of you, not your favorite movie or video game when you were a teenager. You might be scoffing and thinking, "Who cares about somebody's sig pic?" But that's the first thing they see about you. It's their first impression. You want a picture that looks inviting to them, not make them run screaming into the night.

I recommend you go with something cerebral. Philosophical. Women like deep thinkers. They also like soldiers. You got any pics of your Basic Training? Maybe the platoon marching to Omaha Beach or Casablanca.

As far as approach, the key is to be interested in her. Not in having sex with her, but what her personality is like. What does she like. Does she have any family. Find out everything about her, but within reason. Don't get too personal, too early. But you want to make her the focus of the discussion. If she starts asking about you, take the hint and tell her about yourself, but only if she asks. And as soon as is reasonable, turn the topic back to her.

As long as you stay cool and don't get flustered, you'll be fine.

 

[CapturedDoll]

1st off- SMILE! Fake it till you believe it till you have to. But... you have to enjoy your own company first. Take some smile driven pics and add those to you profile. 🙂

And.. Women should not be hit on but talked too like any other person. Flirtation happens naturally. Take the pressure off of yourself and the women. You can't go in thinking "I'm going to find a wife, a girlfriend, a soul mate..." NO! Go into every convo with the expectation of literally having a conversation about pizza. Not literally so much but mentally. But literally if you want to! Because If you build it up to something more grandiose than that the pressure becomes ridiculous to both you and the women. And that way... you'll never get let down and neither will they.

And remember YOU come first. This is about you and who would be a good match for YOU. You must treat yourself with as much love and respect as you want to give someone when they show you they have EARNED them. They have to prove it to YOU as well.

Everyone loves pizza, so for the most part we all have that in common. Remember the things YOU enjoy and share those. Like a video game. Like pizza. Like the funny story that happened in the news today. It's like your sharing your bit of news with a good friend. Like a bestie. Talk to a woman like you would a good friend. Keep that friend in mind and I assure you will find someone at some point. Pressure OFF. Pizza ON.

 

[Libertine]

Amon, your profile says you're 19. Thus, inevitably, I'm afraid you are going to be a complete idiot until you reach your late twenties, and any woman you ask will sigh as she confirms that. By your mid-30s you'll reminisce and cringe.

Your task, and it will be an onerous one, is learning to overcome your paralysing horror of rejection while simultaneously using your brain and conversational ability to back up your physique (I checked your profile) when you converse with females. And by this I mean females of any age and degree of attractiveness; one never knows who might have an attractive sister or daughter or niece she'd like you to meet if you happen to impress her.

In all seriousness the uniform will help. Rightly or wrongly it bespeaks a certain standard and ability, as it testifies to the fact that you're (a) patriotic and (b) employed.

As for your being a 'lee, some women will find this charming. Admittedly not many, but how many women do you want to romp with? Yes, of course thousands upon thousands now, but realistically speaking?

Change your profile picture, get out there and start searching. The only 'wooing' a woman finds offensive is the type coming from the wrong man. Unfortunately, about 99% of the time, that man will be you, but at least you have that in common with the overwhelming majority of men on this planet. And unless you're a complete pig about it I assure you the object of your desires won't phone the police.

Above all, never pay directly for female companionship. You'll learn nothing about women from prostitutes except the fact that you're irresistible for an hour as long as you have money.

But i assure you that once in a while, a woman will sleep/perve with you because she genuinely wants to.

My final piece of advice is to try and schedule leave for April 29th to May 2nd, 2016 and apply to attend NEST in Philadelphia. Everyone there, males and females, (generally a 60-40% split) will share your perversions in various forms. http://www.ticklingforum.com/forumdisplay.php?36-NEST

When your application's been accepted you can even request to be kidnapped and tormented by a bevy of beauties.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?234030-NEST-Fantasy-Kidnapping-Information

and

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showth...signing-up-to-be-kidnapped-you-re-missing-out!

Best of luck.

 

[Bohemianne]

I've never really been a good conversation starter, and I'm somewhat shy when it comes to flirting and all that, so I've always been a little afraid to go up to women to try and get to know them. Now, as I'm getting older, it isn't getting easier.

Then don't start a conversation at all. At times we like the mysterious and snob. You can be noticed without saying a word at all. Use your creativity to pull it off.

 

[ISUmark]

Personally, I hate it. When someone comes on to me, especially here, 9 times out of 10,its for no other reason than I'm female and / or what I look like. This translates to me that my personality and intelligence are unimportant and that's frustrating. Not that I'm even in the market to be getting hit on, but it'd be cool to feel like someone wanted to be my friend based on me, not the trivial shit.

I see a lot of validity in the points you make. Personally I befriend and talk to people who have pictures on the site just because I can put a face to the name of the person whom I'm speaking. Personality and intelligence may not be important INITIALLY simply because said person doesn't know you yet. Most of the time Ill talk to people(such as yourself) that make interesting points in threads Ive noticed. For you personally I really get a kick out of your reverse google image search prowess and outing peoples fake pictures. I totally get it though, I cant imagine what women go through on this site in terms of guys weird messages and such.

 

[ISUmark]

I've never really been a good conversation starter, and I'm somewhat shy when it comes to flirting and all that, so I've always been a little afraid to go up to women to try and get to know them. Now, as I'm getting older, it isn't getting easier. I keep hearing more and more that women don't really like to be hit on as they are hit on multiple times throughout their day. Now, not only am I too shy, but I'm also really worried about being arrested or assaulted, or both. Is it true that women don't like being hit on? How do you all feel about it? Should I just bite the bullet and go for it or would I have more luck waiting for the right situation to arise for me to get to know a woman? Or better yet, would I have more luck trying to meet women on this forum? Thanks in advance for any helpful advice.

You should just talk to women like you would any other person. THAT creates more interest then going up to them simply with the intention of hitting on them. Talk to a woman long enough casually and you will notice whether or not she has any interest in you. From THERE you can hit on her a little and feel out the situation. Respect given is a powerful thing.

 

[a7hgsir4h3jk]

The best advice I can give you is to first and foremost - get rid of that God awful sig picture. I'm not saying this to be a prick. I'm seriously trying to help. Your sig picture should be representative of you, not your favorite movie or video game when you were a teenager. You might be scoffing and thinking, "Who cares about somebody's sig pic?" But that's the first thing they see about you. It's their first impression. You want a picture that looks inviting to them, not make them run screaming into the night.

I like his sig pic, personally.

OP, I'm an unattractive girl who lives in a small town and rarely goes outside; being approached and hit on pretty much never happens to me. (I've been catcalled once, but that just made me laugh because I'm weird like that.) That said, I still expect to be treated equally as I would if I were male. I would rather be liked for my personality and interests than my physical appearance. I'm not sure what else to add other than I agree with what most people have said here. In terms of starting conversations in general, it helps if you both have something in common such as classes together or work, similar tastes in music etc. It's probably best to wait for the right situation to arise instead of walking up to strangers and talking to them. As long as you're polite and don't objectify anyone, you're probably not very likely to be assaulted or arrested, haha.

 

[A/S/H]

Everyone thanks for the advice. I'm starting to regret posting this because I feel like such a dumbass now lol ��. All of this seems like common sense now that I'm reading it. And I can see how being constantly hit on could get annoying fast. Either way, I'm taking all of this advice. Thanks again.

 

[Wolf]

Everyone thanks for the advice. I'm starting to regret posting this because I feel like such a dumbass now lol ��. All of this seems like common sense now that I'm reading it. And I can see how being constantly hit on could get annoying fast. Either way, I'm taking all of this advice. Thanks again.

Don't feel like a dumbass; most guys who are single don't have the guts to even ask for advice. They'd rather whine about how women are being unfair to them. And Libertine's right; one side benefit of your service is that a lot of women love a man in uniform. You're young (compared to some of us, anyway), so you've got plenty of time. Try to relax and get comfortable with yourself. You'd be surprised how many women find that attractive.

 

[a7hgsir4h3jk]

Don't feel like a dumbass; most guys who are single don't have the guts to even ask for advice. They'd rather whine about how women are being unfair to them.

Entitled, self-proclaimed "Nice Guys" are one of my pet hates. They don't seem to understand what they're doing wrong and are not willing to change how they act.

 

[amandahaze]

If a man is polite and respectful I don't mind being approached. Even though I wear a wedding ring I am still sometimes asked by guys in such a way that I know what they're asking. I take it as a compliment, and so often I wish I could step out of the present situation and offer some advice on how to do it better next time. But any woman who gets offended by a sincere question from a decent man is just being a heifer.

Several years ago Jeff and I were at a club in Atlanta and he went to the bathroom. While he was gone a (somewhat) younger man approached me and with a smile asked "I'm fun Bob. Just tell me this. Are you in love with him?" I smiled and said that yes, that was my husband, and the young man shook my hand and said "I just had to know. Good luck to you both." And he left. It was very sweet and I was flattered.

 

[Wally West]

I will be the first to admit that I have hit on women on the forums before. I came across as a total jackass. I am truly sorry if I offended anyone.

 

[The_Darkweb]

As a male I can't say I've experienced much (if any) "harassment" on line, but in bars I have. So much so that in my early 20s i just stopped going. Simply got tired of being pawed at by women looking to mooch free drinks, most of whom would call me a "******" because they didn't like hearing the word no. It's wrong no matter who it happens to, but it doesn't just happen to women.

 

[unclebill]

Treat them like real human beings instead of tickle toys. Asking questions like "On a scale of 1-10 how ticklish are your feet??" and "How ticklish are your feet while standing barefoot on a step ladder??" are just plain creepy. If all else fails, forget about it and get a puppy.

 

[Wolf]

Treat them like real human beings instead of tickle toys. Asking questions like "On a scale of 1-10 how ticklish are your feet??" and "How ticklish are your feet while standing barefoot on a step ladder??" are just plain creepy. If all else fails, forget about it and get a puppy.

Actually, that's really good advice; what woman can resist a puppy? 🙂

 

[maniactickler]

Treat them like real human beings instead of tickle toys. Asking questions like "On a scale of 1-10 how ticklish are your feet??" and "How ticklish are your feet while standing barefoot on a step ladder??" are just plain creepy. If all else fails, forget about it and get a puppy.

I agree. the tickling scale makes me sick to my stomach. its not even remotely accurate.

 

[Bohemianne]

Treat them like real human beings instead of tickle toys. Asking questions like "On a scale of 1-10 how ticklish are your feet??" and "How ticklish are your feet while standing barefoot on a step ladder??" are just plain creepy. If all else fails, forget about it and get a puppy.

Right haha!

 

[alchemy]

Amon, your profile says you're 19. Thus, inevitably, I'm afraid you are going to be a complete idiot until you reach your late twenties, and any woman you ask will sigh as she confirms that. By your mid-30s you'll reminisce and cringe.

Your task, and it will be an onerous one, is learning to overcome your paralysing horror of rejection while simultaneously using your brain and conversational ability to back up your physique (I checked your profile) when you converse with females. And by this I mean females of any age and degree of attractiveness; one never knows who might have an attractive sister or daughter or niece she'd like you to meet if you happen to impress her.

In all seriousness the uniform will help. Rightly or wrongly it bespeaks a certain standard and ability, as it testifies to the fact that you're (a) patriotic and (b) employed.

As for your being a 'lee, some women will find this charming. Admittedly not many, but how many women do you want to romp with? Yes, of course thousands upon thousands now, but realistically speaking?

Change your profile picture, get out there and start searching. The only 'wooing' a woman finds offensive is the type coming from the wrong man. Unfortunately, about 99% of the time, that man will be you, but at least you have that in common with the overwhelming majority of men on this planet. And unless you're a complete pig about it I assure you the object of your desires won't phone the police.

Above all, never pay directly for female companionship. You'll learn nothing about women from prostitutes except the fact that you're irresistible for an hour as long as you have money.

But i assure you that once in a while, a woman will sleep/perve with you because she genuinely wants to.

My final piece of advice is to try and schedule leave for April 29th to May 2nd, 2016 and apply to attend NEST in Philadelphia. Everyone there, males and females, (generally a 60-40% split) will share your perversions in various forms. http://www.ticklingforum.com/forumdisplay.php?36-NEST

When your application's been accepted you can even request to be kidnapped and tormented by a bevy of beauties.

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?234030-NEST-Fantasy-Kidnapping-Information

and

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showth...signing-up-to-be-kidnapped-you-re-missing-out!

Best of luck.

What he said ^^^

 

[Wolf]

Well, if anything, this thread has provided the OP with some clear examples of what not to do.

 

[A/S/H]

Oh man I thought this thread ended. Well since people are still reading I'm just going to say I'm gonna continue to be a decent person go from there. It's sort of worked for me so far.