Word Play

[Ticklerguy4u]

I think when I get married I am going to get a cat for myself.
A rooster for my wife
and two donkeys for her and me.

That way in a conversation I can say:

"I have a pussy. My wife has a cock. We both love it when they ride on our asses." 😀

 

[tkrexx]

A bird was stubborn about flying south for the winter. He waited too long, and snow began to fall. Thus he decided it was time to head for warmer climes. Unfortunately, ice began to form on his wings, and ultimately he fell to the ground, landing in a pasture, where a cow promptly emptied it's bowels on the poor bird.

The bird truly thought his life could get no worse.

But he realized that the big pile of feces he was under melted the ice from his wings and was actually comfortable. He was so happy he began to sing!

Just then a passing cat heard the birdsong. Investigating, he dug at the pile of cow dung until he found the bird, and quickly ate him.

The moral of the story:

Everyone who shits on you is not nessecarily your enemy.
Everyone who gets you out of shit is not nessecarily your friend.
And if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth closed.