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Would Like Some Opinions on a Politically Sensitive Real Life (or not) Event...

OBleedingMe

TMF Expert
Joined
Nov 8, 2001
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The event I'm about to recollect is nonfiction (or not...). Please give me your opinions on it. I've already received many views from friends and family, but I'd rather have some from a few "objective" strangers.
All names have been changed.

I have had a girlfriend for about six months. We'll call her "Theresa". She's really very attractive. Long, naturally curly black hair. Not stick-thin, has a nice figure, well-sized breasts, wide auburn eyes. Of course, she's quite ticklish. 😉
One strange thing I've noticed about Theresa. She attracts tons of lesbians. And I mean by the truckload. Not the feminine kind, either. The butches. Most of them courteous and leave well enough alone when they see us holding hands or that she's taken. A few are arrogant, but so are some of the guys who like her.
One day, while we were lying in bed, Theresa told me of a lesbian at school who was really on her case. We'll call her "Chris". It appeared that, despite the fact that Theresa had told Chris many times that she was not homosexual in the slightest of ways and she had a boyfriend, the girl would not leave her be. It came to a head while she was researching in the school library and Chris walked behind her, grabbed her waist, and kissed her on the neck. She reacted by smacking her in the face and telling her not to do that ever again. After this incident, Chris proceeded to tell everyone she knew that Theresa was her "bitch", etc. Eventually, Theresa had told me, the rumors died down. I asked her if everything was all right after that, and she said yes.
Fast forward one week. I attended a college play Theresa is in. After the play, I see this 4'6", 220 - 240 lb. female approaching me while I talked with Theresa about her performance. The female had short red hair, freckles all over her face - one of those women who wouldn't be attractive even if they had lost the weight, I suppose you could say. She wore essentially a male "wigger" outfit, complete with sagging pants, sweatband, and oversized Jersey. This, as you might have guessed, was Chris. She proceeded to tell me Theresa was "her woman" and that I better "watch my back, yo". I responded to this by treating her like a lady the rest of the evening. Opening doors for her, asking to carry her backpack, etc. Man, she HATED that.
Two weeks later, I'm in the local mall with Theresa on the second floor. We were shopping for a mutual friend's birthday present. Up ahead, I spot Chris with a bunch of her friends, all dressed in similar male ghetto apparel. I figured Chris would have said some snide comment, but I never expected what happened next, and this the part I need opinions on.
As Chris walked by us, she snapped her hand out and crushed Theresa's right breast, then twisted it so viciously I could actually hear the skin making a creaking sound - much like that of a leather jacket. Theresa's face had become a red mask of agony. At the same time, I saw Chris's free hand coming up to smack Theresa in the face.
I didn't think. I reacted. Immediately, a rage boiled up and over inside me that was nearly primal. Male protective instincts, I guess you could call it. I grabbed Chris by the shirt and slammed her against a concrete wall separating two stores, punched her in the gut to knock the wind out of her, then dragged her over to the balcony. When of her friends attempted to intervene and clawed at my neck, my fist rewarded her with a broken tooth for her efforts. I tossed Chris stomach first onto the railing, holding her up by the shoulders of her Jersey. She was gasping and twisting like a fish out of water.
I leaned in as close as I could to her. Looking her dead in eyes, and in a voice that was so raspy and hate-filled I didn't recognize it as my own, I said: "You want to act like a perverted man, prepare to be treated like one. If I catch you near my girlfriend again, I'll throw you over this balcony."
Chris's eyes were wide and afraid. She was sobbing like a child. I dropped her to the floor and took in the scene with uncanny detail (due to adrenaline rush, I suppose). Chris's friends had jetted, save for the one I punched. She too was sobbing, hands cupping her mouth, blood dripping onto her shirt and the sky blue floor tiles. Theresa was leaning against the concrete wall, also sobbing, holding her breast through her shirt. Tiny dots of blood were blooming there. I had drawn quite a crowd, chest heaving, eyes twitching from left to right, heart hammering, my breath coming through my clenched teeth in grunts. Everything was magnified. The lights, the sounds, the smells. Quite an experience.
To my utter astonishment, I felt a severe disappointment. I found myself hoping that they would have tried to hit me so I could retaliate - a VERY alien feeling for me. I'm usually a pretty peaceful guy. But it was there, no doubt about it.
I went to Theresa and asked her it she was all right. The way she was hitching her chest made me angry all over again, but I restrained myself. Besides, as I was trying to soothe Theresa, I heard Chris and her friend take to their feet and flee.
To make a long story short, the mall's "Keystone Cops" showed up on the scene soon after, fully armed with their radios and flashlights... I think their supervisor hand one whole set of handcuffs, LOL. Theresa was treated at the First Aid in the mall. We were referred to the nearest hospital. It appeared that several blood vessels had been burst near the nipple due to extreme trauma. There wasn't much they could do except put some soothing ointment on it and bandage it up. Theresa couldn't wear a bra for four months. It was just too painful. She had marks on her breast for almost five months.
When we spoke to the cops, they were very sympathetic... that is, until I mentioned the assailants were female. All of sudden, the tables turned. I was damn near arrested... until Theresa stepped between me and the cop and quite bravely unwrapped her breast and showed it to the officer (we were in an examination room), who immediately relented. It really scares me how slanted the laws are towards females in this day and age. You can call a woman a dork and get arrested for verbal abuse. You can be clawed half to death and be the one arrested when the cops show. We at least managed to get a complaint in and a restraining order put into affect. A lawyer told us that it was almost useless trying to charge Chris, because the Keystone Cops never tried to retain witnesses. They just let everyone walk off, and no one came forward, of course. That's NJ/NY people for you. As for suing the Security Company for negligence... that is a very real possibility.
Later that night, I made Theresa feel a little better, at least in the intimate way. I think that was the best sex I ever had. I know Theresa told me it was for her, despite her breast. So if you couples are looking to spice up your sex life... sorry, trying to add a bit of levity. 🙁
Anyway, what do you guys think of this whole mess? Should I have not done anything? Should I have done MORE? What about how the police reacted? Please be honest.
None of the story was embellished... I'm a writer and I have a flair for remembering details, especially when you're hypersensitive with adrenaline.
 
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to tell you the truth, i'm behind you. yeah, yeah, it was wrong to hit a woman, but if what you wrote was true, i dont blame you. "Chris" intentionally tried to hurt "Theresa". just because she is a woman doesnt mean a damn thing to me, because Chris decided to act like a male. if a woman wants to act like a man, they better be ready to be treated like a man. Theresa told that woman (and i use that term loosely) to leave her alone, she wasnt interested. but Chris continued. that is sexual harrassment, period. this incident will be jaded because Chris isnt a man, but a woman. to me, doesnt matter. you were protecting your girlfriend. Chris caused you giref before and you handled it quite well. but when you saw Theresa in pain, of course your protective instincts will kick in. try telling a father, who is protecting his child from harm by a woman, if he cares about gender at that point.

i am not for a man hitting a woman, but in self defense, or to protect, i see no gender. all i see is opponent. the police reacted like they probably would. that's the reason why men who are physically abused by their wives dont report it. the police probably wont believe them, they may even crack jokes. i dont know how your situation will end up, but i feel you. could you have handled the situation a different way? of course!! but, you reacted according to the situation. i think that if that was the 1st time you even encountered Chris, then i think you would have handled it differently. BUT, you had run ins with Chris before, so you didnt even care if she was a woman or not.

hey man, i hope everything is alright with you and Theresa. i hope that Chris character gets what's coming to her. let someone mess with my significant other, male OR female. i will protect my loved ones.

those are my two cents
 
Thanks for the support, Prime.
Just to let everyone know, never in my life have I ever hit a woman up until that day (well me and my sis used to fight when we were little 😉).
I just felt, especially in hindsight, that Chris would have done a lot more to Theresa than just grab her breast had I not stopped her. I have a creeping feeling that Chris was banking on the fact that a man shouldn't hit a woman and that I would not step in. This would have the triple effect of allowing her to vent her frustrations physically on Theresa, cause us to break up, and ultimately cause Theresa to lose faith in men. I do recall seeing quite a bit of shock in Chris's eyes when I dragged her off Theresa.
 
sincer sorrow to you...

and especially your g.f. threasa.
i feel you did the right thing, by protecting the woman you were with.
maybe threasa could go to school officals, and the d.a. herself, and make the complaints, that way it's a woman-woman thing, and not a man-woman thing.
baring any real relief by the "proper athorities" you could hire a couple "toughs" to teach chris the error of her ways.
good luck to you, and your g.f., i hope you stay together.
steve
 
OBleedingMe,

Short answer, you did the right thing. I do not condone violence to solve every problem that comes up, but given the circumstances you mention, I do not see that you had any recourse but to get "Chrises" attention. If "Theresa" is worth having as a girlfriend, then she is damn well worth vigorously defending.

Going over your original post, I see that "Chris" had been told, repeatedly and politely, to back off. Yet not only did she not listen, she escalated the situation. I don't think there is any doubt that had you let the mall incident slide, "Chris" would only have taken that as a green light to escalate things further.

Based on physical descriptions of "Theresa" and "Chris", and nothing else, I don't think "Theresa" would be able to defend herself successfully, therefore her right to self defense would have been transfered to you morally and ethicly, if not legally, irregardless if she had been with you or not.

I agree with Primetime's comments at the end of his post, if anyone hassles anyone close to me in that fashion, I would react in the exact same manner you did.

I am in your corner, OBleedingMe.
 
I'm not reading any of the other responses until I post my own, lest they color my words.

What you did was completely justified and admirable. Yes, you lost control momentarily. However, your actions were to defend someone you care about from what had gone from a simply annoying level to one that caused her true harm. There's nothing wrong with that. The fact that you went only as far as you needed to shows that you were the defender rather than the aggressor. The toy cops in question were obviously slanted towards defending a womans honor. While I see no problem with that on it's own, the fact that they were willing to overlook hostile actions and turn the tables on you shows them to be closed minded and less than honorable.

Personally, I don't care what sex (or anything else) a person is. If they're a jackass, they'll be treated like one. What you did reminds me of an aide (male and much bigger than me) who I bodily removed from the premisis after catching him hitting my client. I kicked him in the ass as hard as I could while shoving him out the door. He didn't have a job an hour later. I don't care who it is, they do crap like that, they deserve what they get.

Just an FYI. You may want to consider going to your local police department and filing a matter of record report about what's been going on. While it sounds like these bitches are not likely to persue the matter further since they've been stood up to, having all of this on the books will give you leverage should they attempt anything in the future. All you'd need to do is stop by a local station and fill out a report about what's been going on. (If you can get sopies of the report the toy cops filed and the doctors exame record, that would help as well.) They would then keep it on file. Then, if something were to happen again, it would be taken more seriously as part of a package rather than an isolated incident. No matter how much you tell them that things have been going on for a while, it's still more effective to have it down in writing in their records.

Ann
 
I think you did the right thing. I was hoping to read that you actually threw Chris over the balcony, but I suppose that would have been going too far. Yeah, it sucks that the cops changed their attitudes when they learned Chris was female. Understandable, but deplorable nonetheless.
 
My opinion on you and your actions: Hell yes you did the right thing! You didn't lose control of yourself. If you had, Griselda or whatever the hell her name was, would have been eating concrete 2 floors below. She deserved what she got, as did the asshole friend. If I was the president you'd be getting a civic award! All you did was in the name of self-defence and the defence of your girlfriend. There is nothing criminal about that. (Although here in England the courts would probably have given you life and ordered you to pay compensation. The Home Office boys would probably not have been too friendly either. We wouldn't be involved in that sort of dispute.)

My opinion on the police: It's fucking idiots like that who give the job a bad name. Good for your girlfriend for setting the prick straight.

My opinion on the security company: If you never do another thing in your life, sue the bastards! Maybe that'll teach them to do their job properly. Sue them and screw the useless sons of bitches through the floor.


Okay, time for a ...........
coffeecup.gif
 
I WAS going to tell you that you did right, that you stepped in to protect someone who needed protecting, you took action and might even want to consider a restraining order or a civil suit towards Chris since it's not the laws that are slanted so much as the coppers attitudes , but since everyone else is patting you on the back, I'm going to get you to do another good deed....

Can I borrow some money?
 
I'll voice my support alongside everyone else. If a woman acts like a man, treat her like one. If someone physically assaults you or yours you have the right, make that obligation, to defend them.

I agree with Anne, get a formal record of this mess with the police. Those women you punched have a year to file assault charges on you - best have your side on record already. I hope you took a polaroid picture of the injury to your girlfriend.

Like always, this is just my opinion - but in this case it's an informed opinion.
 
I concour with the rest. I believe you did what you had to do to protect your girlfriend. I can only go on what i read here. It sounds like you did the only thing you could though. Or at least your response to the situation was understandable to protect one you care for.
 
You definitely did the right thing. Chris is/was a bully and if you hand't reacted, it would have inflated her ego and bravado even more and who knows what she would have done next. I'm amazed that she went as far as she did in the first place.
 
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