Heres Yaqis post, unedited
Ok boys and girls, pop quiz time.
In the last 72 hours (oh, let's be generous, say in the last month) who
in this newsgroup has:
1. Tied and tickled more than 100 girls?
2. Tied and tickled Jenna Jameson?
3. Gotten over 2 million hits to their website in an 18 hour time frame?
4. Sold over 8,000 (that's THOUSAND) tickle videos to people outside the
tickling community?
5. Reached a worldwide mainstream audience of over 100 million people?
6. Become a legitimate property sought out by many very high profile
television and radio shows who realize that tickling makes great media,
especially during sweeps month?
Everyone got a zero so far? Thought so. Let's try another, simpler quiz.
1. Who here has got the guts to go public on international television
with their love of tickling?
2. Who here could stand up to Howard Stern for more than a minute, let
alone 75 minutes?
I'd love to see GilmourWaters on Stern:
Stern: "So tell me about your tickling interests Gil?"
GilmourWaters: (in best Beavus and Buthead tradition) "Uh, heh heh heh,
heh heh heh, Pink Floyd is cool. heh heh heh I like women tickled in
nylons heh heh heh."
Ok, here's a quiz where all of you can score points.
1. Who here has done nothing other than write juvenile, baseless whining
complaints and insults?
There. Everyone got a point! Yay for AMT!!!!
I just got back from Vegas where I got to meet the hardcore Stern fans
and guess what? They loved me. They loved my shows. They thought they
were some of the best in Stern's history. They wanted my autograph. They
wanted their picture taken with me. They all came up to my hotel room
for tickling demos after the show. They like tickling. They think it
rules. They think I rule.
Oh, and to the eternally idiotic and clueless Dodger: Why should I
mention the TMF or AMT? After viewing the weeks (who am I kidding,
years) of absolute pathetic and juvenile behavior demonstrated in this
group, can you think of any reason why I should take pride in, or want
to be associated in any way with you and your breed?
AMT is, and always has been a shit hole, a waste of time, a gross
embarrassment to all who enjoy tickling.
Special note to all the rat motherfuckers who have been trashing me,
which I find very humorous since it's nothing more than very thinly
veiled petty jealousy, You are Jealous, JEALOUS, JEALOUS!!!!!!
And special thanks to all the two faced members of this group who sit
idly by during the onslaught of Yaqi Jealousy, yet suddenly leap center
stage when they hear that Yaqi has once again done something INCREDIBLE,
screaming "where's the clips! Where's the clips??? I want my tickling
masturbatory material because I'm too chicken to go out in the real
world and create it myself!!"
And for those of you who have posted audio and video files of the Stern
show: I talked to Howard's executive producers about this in Vegas. "Do
you guys know that there are a bunch of rat motherfuckers out there who
are posting your copyrighted material?" And boy did they get pissed. And
they gave me the contact info for E! who got even more pissed because
they are very possessive of their material. So, I've forwarded to them a
list of names, email addys, websites etc, from all the people who have
stolen E!s copyrighted material.
I'm about to do a show in Hollywood next week and I have a meeting with
the producers today and one of the topics that I want to talk about is
why people should avoid internet forums and newsgroups when exploring
tickling. And I'll mention AMT and tell the world about how petty,
juvenile and jealous all the rat motherfuckers who live there really
are.
REALITY CHECK!: Bottom line folks. To the mainstream world Yaqi is
synonymous with tickling. Tickling = Yaqisworld. Period. Better get used
to it. Better deal with it. Because I'm just getting started.
And for the record. I am not your ambassador. I do not represent you. I
do not want anything to do with you. I don't give you a bad name. This
group and its members do that all by themselves almost every time
someone posts.
SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL!: You know, I'd love to sit here and continue
to denigrate this group, but I have to pack for my next television
appearance in Hollywood. So resume your insults, your Yaqi bashing. I'm
too busy watching my bank account grow and leading my exciting life to
care.
Yaqi