There are some people in my life that just frustrate me when we talk...
Talking and catching up seems like a chore, when we talk.
Trying to be a voice of reason to someone who won't listen is common, when we talk.
People feel the need to speak in a negative, almost blame-worthy tone, when we talk.
and most importantly
I am not/no longer happy, when we talk.
These kinds of people who frequent my life - are they the kind of people I want around me? I don't feel that measure of happiness when I talk with or do things with those people for whatever reason or another - how are we friends when we're like this? When I'm like this? I want to have faith in these people when I've invested a great amount of my friendship, time, trust and respect, and not haphazardly either, but when I feel unhappy when I talk to these people, at what point do I crack? At what point do I exclaim "I am sick and tired of feeling this way when I talk with you" or "I'm through, I haven't been happy talking with you and it hurts me to continue interacting like we are now." I sometimes get the feeling like I'm missing something important; oblivious to that one missing piece of information that explains why I'm unhappy or those people are unhappy when we interact. Even with some of those people who mean a lot to me, I seem unable to have a fully happy conversation or outing - Are they the ones to blame? Am I to blame? Is there blame or is it just that time keeps moving and I or we keep changing? A commonly stated term is that friends change over time, even the best of friends. Are we at that point where we've changed so much that our friendship as we once knew it is no longer viable? Can we even be friends if one or both of us are unhappy when we interact?
In the end, it isn't so much these people who frustrate me as much as I am frustrating myself because I chose to ignore one simple fact - the fact that we, as human beings, are constantly changing and adapting. See it pays to understand that I have never taken to any change very well at all. I like to plan everything out and am not much of a risk-taker - I tend to focus on worst-case scenarios when I evaluate risks as opposed to risk-reward. I need some form of consistency in my life in regards to relationships with friends that when natural change occurs and paths and viewpoints in life begin to differ to the degree where friendship "just isn't in the cards" that I begin to feel almost abandoned since it is very difficult for me to make friends at all. Best Friends or Friends Forever and other such terms of long-lasting friendship - is there anything less absolute?
For those who have read this, as you can see I am clearly not in a positive frame of mind right now...I needed an outlet with which to get my thoughts out that were bothering me, no more and no less. This isn't meant to be an attention grabber or any form of plea - this is solely my attempt at putting my jumbled thoughts into some coherent manner I could understand. It feels a little therapeutic in having gotten this off my chest so I feel a little better. I just need to continue to figure myself out so I don't end up like this permanently.
Talking and catching up seems like a chore, when we talk.
Trying to be a voice of reason to someone who won't listen is common, when we talk.
People feel the need to speak in a negative, almost blame-worthy tone, when we talk.
and most importantly
I am not/no longer happy, when we talk.
These kinds of people who frequent my life - are they the kind of people I want around me? I don't feel that measure of happiness when I talk with or do things with those people for whatever reason or another - how are we friends when we're like this? When I'm like this? I want to have faith in these people when I've invested a great amount of my friendship, time, trust and respect, and not haphazardly either, but when I feel unhappy when I talk to these people, at what point do I crack? At what point do I exclaim "I am sick and tired of feeling this way when I talk with you" or "I'm through, I haven't been happy talking with you and it hurts me to continue interacting like we are now." I sometimes get the feeling like I'm missing something important; oblivious to that one missing piece of information that explains why I'm unhappy or those people are unhappy when we interact. Even with some of those people who mean a lot to me, I seem unable to have a fully happy conversation or outing - Are they the ones to blame? Am I to blame? Is there blame or is it just that time keeps moving and I or we keep changing? A commonly stated term is that friends change over time, even the best of friends. Are we at that point where we've changed so much that our friendship as we once knew it is no longer viable? Can we even be friends if one or both of us are unhappy when we interact?
In the end, it isn't so much these people who frustrate me as much as I am frustrating myself because I chose to ignore one simple fact - the fact that we, as human beings, are constantly changing and adapting. See it pays to understand that I have never taken to any change very well at all. I like to plan everything out and am not much of a risk-taker - I tend to focus on worst-case scenarios when I evaluate risks as opposed to risk-reward. I need some form of consistency in my life in regards to relationships with friends that when natural change occurs and paths and viewpoints in life begin to differ to the degree where friendship "just isn't in the cards" that I begin to feel almost abandoned since it is very difficult for me to make friends at all. Best Friends or Friends Forever and other such terms of long-lasting friendship - is there anything less absolute?
For those who have read this, as you can see I am clearly not in a positive frame of mind right now...I needed an outlet with which to get my thoughts out that were bothering me, no more and no less. This isn't meant to be an attention grabber or any form of plea - this is solely my attempt at putting my jumbled thoughts into some coherent manner I could understand. It feels a little therapeutic in having gotten this off my chest so I feel a little better. I just need to continue to figure myself out so I don't end up like this permanently.
