Only two months between posts this time,that's cool.A guy could get used this. I had a really good experience for what seemed like the first time in a lifetime and thought I'd write about it.
Recently I met a woman whom I was able to talk to about personal things.Not the nonsense stuff that is unfortunately all consuming but kink related stuff.She is the first person in a long time who I could open up to about things on that level. It was so nice to be able to shift my focus and converse about something desirable for a change. She's a very intelligent,deeply fascinating woman and I'm fortunate to have met her.
As we were talking one day she invited me to a BDSM party that she would be holding. We got along great and she could probably sense that I needed to kinda get out.She's very intuitive and even though I'm tough to read she picked up things.At the time I really barely knew her and she knew of nothing that was going on in my life.I didn't accept or decline at the time and told her I'd think about it.
I had never been to a gathering of any sort that was kink related.Leading up to that I had been a disaster.There's no need to get into because it's been chronicled enough.Just physically,emotionally broken,beaten mess of a human being.Somedays it's been hard enough to compose myself when talking to people I'm closest with.So I'm thinking about it and while looking in the mirror one day,and no I'm not vain 🙂 , I thought to myself ''You know,for a half-crippled,unemployed pasty white guy I look pretty good''. Then I thought about this forum,the people who frequent it and figured the folks at the party would probably similar.A group of unique,interestingly cool people and I thought to my self ''Fuck it,let's go''.
So I call her up and tell her that I'll attend.Tickling and bondage were the only kinks that I was interested in prior to the party and didn't really know what to expect.The days leading up to the event I did a lot of,I'll use the cliche phrase, soul searching. I really had to dig deep and go back to find a certain peace,even if that peace would only be temporary.It was important to me ,how do I put this, to come across as natural as I could without seeming fake,if that's the right way to put it. I don't make it a habit of meeting people and saying hey, ''Nice to meet ya,by the way I'm a fuckin' wreck in life''...LOL....I'm working hard to change things but that's just the way it is right now and it's hard to find balance enough to not let it show.So I had to take it back a little.There were a couple days where I grabbed my discman,I know they're outdated but fuck it 😎, hopped on the bus,went wherever and hit the streets. Doctors say I need to be walking anyway so it worked out well.In all reality,the streets are where I grew up and it was nice listening to some old music and reconnecting to those days.It was not only very refreshing but also reminded me where I came from and what I been through in life.
Onto the spicy stuff. 🙂 So the day of the party comes and I'm looking forward to it. I get all done up,pick up a bottle of champagne she asked me to grab and I was on my way. I arrive at her home and I'm greeted at the door by a young,very cute mistress in training. She invites me in and we exchange pleasantries for a moment. She then insists I set my clothes in the room and get naked. My persona can be hard to read but I'm actually quite shy and being naked while surrounded by a gathering of total strangers is not something I'm used to.But,she was smoking hot and I wasn't about to argue. 😀 Despite my ailments,my body looks really good and I'm totally comfortable with it.It's actually very decieving when you look at me.
So I strip down and meet her back in kitchen.I'm then introduced to a woman who is also naked and cutting a variety of fruit. I then grab a knife and start to help her, being careful not to let my balls drop into the fruit salad. 😛 Kidding of course,although it did cross my mind at the time. So we're hacking away,conversing as more guests start to arrive. I'll be honest,it was a little awkward at first but I got over it real quick.There were guests who came from as far away as Florida.All in all there was about twenty people attending.
At first I wasn't aware of this but I was assuming the role of a slave for the night. In the end it was kind of fun but that most certainly is not the role I'm suited for.I don't like being told what to do but have no problem subbing for certain people on occassion. We eventually have dinner,at this point I was really starting to get into it.It was all to surreal at the time, just sitting on the floor naked,eating a piece of chicken surrounded by a group of strangers. I was so far out of my element but enjoying it.We eventually finished eating and went to have some fun.
A select few then went downstairs to where all of the kinky stuff was.There was a very large selection of whips,toys, just all kinds of implements.The m.i.t. who greeted me at the door originally then did some fantastic rope bondage on my torso.I eventually got tied to an X frame.Now I don't mind switching but for the most part I prefer being on top and normally, like a lot of folks I'm sure, I don't really like being tickled in front of people but everyone was really cool so I went with it.
She made sure to bind me tight because,again despite it all,I have a very powerful body. It's damaged now but I spent a large portion of my life powerlifting,martial arts and in a lot of ways it's still like a stick of dynamite,very explosive.Combine with the fact that I'm like hyper ticklish....yeah,you have to seriously secure me.So she did,and then started with some light tickling which was very effective in itself.You don't even have to really touch me,it's almost embarrasing.She would get more intense with it and I'd get bucking like crazy.The other guests must have been like wow,that dude is really ticklish and really strong.I try to fight it but can't,it's very intense.One thing she did that I found really hot was when she would bite my chest and lightly tickle various spots.That was real kinky.
She then got into some other things which were new to me but I actually found to be very hot.I have a high tolerance for pain which she noticed right away.In all honesty,pain is all I now in my life. She whipped me quite a bit which I found that I really liked and I was surprised how intimate it was.I didn't even realise it til afterwards but it was definately very intimate.I was also surprised how artistc and sexy whip markings could be.This was all new to me.She also did some cool things with ice in various places.I was really into her and feeling her energy that night which made for a nice experience.I only wish I could have returned the favor.
That whole night I found myself very tuned in and appreciating all of the various kinks and the passion in which they were expressed.It was a life changing night and one that I needed badly.It's like I have been in a sea of darkness and the person who invited me to that party lit a candle some ways off.I'm so grateful that I met her and I'm actually tearing up right now. Things have been bad for so long and it's taken it's toll but for the first time I can actually smile and mean it.
Meeting everyone that night makes me anxious to make more friends here. The kinky stuff was great but that night I was also reminded how nice it is meeting new,interesting people.Somewhere along the way in life I forgot how meaningful that was.Aside from all of the play,I learned some things about myself that night that are going to carry over into all aspects of my life.I'm much more eager for the road ahead and actually looking forward to where it might lead.
Recently I met a woman whom I was able to talk to about personal things.Not the nonsense stuff that is unfortunately all consuming but kink related stuff.She is the first person in a long time who I could open up to about things on that level. It was so nice to be able to shift my focus and converse about something desirable for a change. She's a very intelligent,deeply fascinating woman and I'm fortunate to have met her.
As we were talking one day she invited me to a BDSM party that she would be holding. We got along great and she could probably sense that I needed to kinda get out.She's very intuitive and even though I'm tough to read she picked up things.At the time I really barely knew her and she knew of nothing that was going on in my life.I didn't accept or decline at the time and told her I'd think about it.
I had never been to a gathering of any sort that was kink related.Leading up to that I had been a disaster.There's no need to get into because it's been chronicled enough.Just physically,emotionally broken,beaten mess of a human being.Somedays it's been hard enough to compose myself when talking to people I'm closest with.So I'm thinking about it and while looking in the mirror one day,and no I'm not vain 🙂 , I thought to myself ''You know,for a half-crippled,unemployed pasty white guy I look pretty good''. Then I thought about this forum,the people who frequent it and figured the folks at the party would probably similar.A group of unique,interestingly cool people and I thought to my self ''Fuck it,let's go''.
So I call her up and tell her that I'll attend.Tickling and bondage were the only kinks that I was interested in prior to the party and didn't really know what to expect.The days leading up to the event I did a lot of,I'll use the cliche phrase, soul searching. I really had to dig deep and go back to find a certain peace,even if that peace would only be temporary.It was important to me ,how do I put this, to come across as natural as I could without seeming fake,if that's the right way to put it. I don't make it a habit of meeting people and saying hey, ''Nice to meet ya,by the way I'm a fuckin' wreck in life''...LOL....I'm working hard to change things but that's just the way it is right now and it's hard to find balance enough to not let it show.So I had to take it back a little.There were a couple days where I grabbed my discman,I know they're outdated but fuck it 😎, hopped on the bus,went wherever and hit the streets. Doctors say I need to be walking anyway so it worked out well.In all reality,the streets are where I grew up and it was nice listening to some old music and reconnecting to those days.It was not only very refreshing but also reminded me where I came from and what I been through in life.
Onto the spicy stuff. 🙂 So the day of the party comes and I'm looking forward to it. I get all done up,pick up a bottle of champagne she asked me to grab and I was on my way. I arrive at her home and I'm greeted at the door by a young,very cute mistress in training. She invites me in and we exchange pleasantries for a moment. She then insists I set my clothes in the room and get naked. My persona can be hard to read but I'm actually quite shy and being naked while surrounded by a gathering of total strangers is not something I'm used to.But,she was smoking hot and I wasn't about to argue. 😀 Despite my ailments,my body looks really good and I'm totally comfortable with it.It's actually very decieving when you look at me.
So I strip down and meet her back in kitchen.I'm then introduced to a woman who is also naked and cutting a variety of fruit. I then grab a knife and start to help her, being careful not to let my balls drop into the fruit salad. 😛 Kidding of course,although it did cross my mind at the time. So we're hacking away,conversing as more guests start to arrive. I'll be honest,it was a little awkward at first but I got over it real quick.There were guests who came from as far away as Florida.All in all there was about twenty people attending.
At first I wasn't aware of this but I was assuming the role of a slave for the night. In the end it was kind of fun but that most certainly is not the role I'm suited for.I don't like being told what to do but have no problem subbing for certain people on occassion. We eventually have dinner,at this point I was really starting to get into it.It was all to surreal at the time, just sitting on the floor naked,eating a piece of chicken surrounded by a group of strangers. I was so far out of my element but enjoying it.We eventually finished eating and went to have some fun.
A select few then went downstairs to where all of the kinky stuff was.There was a very large selection of whips,toys, just all kinds of implements.The m.i.t. who greeted me at the door originally then did some fantastic rope bondage on my torso.I eventually got tied to an X frame.Now I don't mind switching but for the most part I prefer being on top and normally, like a lot of folks I'm sure, I don't really like being tickled in front of people but everyone was really cool so I went with it.
She made sure to bind me tight because,again despite it all,I have a very powerful body. It's damaged now but I spent a large portion of my life powerlifting,martial arts and in a lot of ways it's still like a stick of dynamite,very explosive.Combine with the fact that I'm like hyper ticklish....yeah,you have to seriously secure me.So she did,and then started with some light tickling which was very effective in itself.You don't even have to really touch me,it's almost embarrasing.She would get more intense with it and I'd get bucking like crazy.The other guests must have been like wow,that dude is really ticklish and really strong.I try to fight it but can't,it's very intense.One thing she did that I found really hot was when she would bite my chest and lightly tickle various spots.That was real kinky.
She then got into some other things which were new to me but I actually found to be very hot.I have a high tolerance for pain which she noticed right away.In all honesty,pain is all I now in my life. She whipped me quite a bit which I found that I really liked and I was surprised how intimate it was.I didn't even realise it til afterwards but it was definately very intimate.I was also surprised how artistc and sexy whip markings could be.This was all new to me.She also did some cool things with ice in various places.I was really into her and feeling her energy that night which made for a nice experience.I only wish I could have returned the favor.
That whole night I found myself very tuned in and appreciating all of the various kinks and the passion in which they were expressed.It was a life changing night and one that I needed badly.It's like I have been in a sea of darkness and the person who invited me to that party lit a candle some ways off.I'm so grateful that I met her and I'm actually tearing up right now. Things have been bad for so long and it's taken it's toll but for the first time I can actually smile and mean it.
Meeting everyone that night makes me anxious to make more friends here. The kinky stuff was great but that night I was also reminded how nice it is meeting new,interesting people.Somewhere along the way in life I forgot how meaningful that was.Aside from all of the play,I learned some things about myself that night that are going to carry over into all aspects of my life.I'm much more eager for the road ahead and actually looking forward to where it might lead.
