I'm going to post this in the blog, and seriously hope it wont cause the kind of backlash and visercal reactions that my threads have. '
I've come down to the bottom line about my problem. It's not autism, or anything like that.
I have a situation in which I have no advocates, and my father has all the advocates. I'm trapped with him, due to circumstances. I dont have a wife, a gf, or the financial warewithal to survive by myself here yet. My mom is dead, and cant be my sounding board. Not only that, no matter what he does to me, there is no way out, and all those in his family will only keep egging him on.
Think about. my mad times on here. When my mom was sick, and my father sent her that horrible letter while she was undergoing treatment in NJ. I'm in NJ all alone with her, as shes so sick. I wanted to let him have it for that letter, but couldnt, thus the ill advised. "Demonic Letter" thread in summer 2011.
My mom dies.. I'm forced to meet my father's wife, on the day of my mom's funeral. 24 hours after the funeral, my mom and I are viciously attacked by a cousin I havent seen in 25 years. My father justifies it.
Then, I havent seen my uncle in 25 years. He contacts me after my mom died. I send him emails, call him, gifts for his 65th bday. At our first sit down in 25 years, he tells me how my father should have put my mom in the street, and how I should never work and be on disability. He never apologizes, and ignores me for new years, and my bdays.
My father's reaction to all this.. To rip my dead mother and grandmother.. ad nasueam, and to justify everyone who behaved anti socially to me, this year. To go on vacations with them, and spend no time with me.
My aunts.. cant help. I dont have the same cell phone plan as them. One aunt is off in her own world. The other aunt is consumed with watching her TV shows, many more than just "Jim Gardner".
Many years ago... my mom observed that I was much happier when my father was not in my life. I got over my extreme thinness.. my grades shot up, and social life got better.
I'm working on starting my new business. I send my father financial and product info he wants., His reply.. never to push forward to start the business, but to only want more info. I sent him many emails about the business, including today, and told him I want to get going already. His reply.. not "We're going to get going". Instead he said.. "Its a start". Hes spent weeks with his brother and cousins the last three-four months, and hours with me. I know without being around them, they are all telling him to behave badly to me. None of them, want me to succeed, so they can all say "Sheila fucked him up".
Trust me.. if I had a good business.. and was financially free of my father.. one would see a whole new Mitch.
HIS MO on my life..
Without EVER taking responsibility for anything he did to me, he mentioned all the people in my mom's family who quote "Fucked me up" because they were too "overprotective",. and harped on how my mom didnt want me to get my license when I was 16.. and how he had to push me to get it.
He has his world, his advocates.. All of whom are always on his side, and who he put his life together with, before ironing out his estrangement from me.
People who read this might think its bullshit.. but I swear on my mom's grave that this is it, and everyone here knows how much I adored my mom.
In fact, my mom agreed with my decision not to see his family all those years, and even told me. "They would have a license to be verbally abusive, and he would be verbally abusive to you, and in their behalf. " This is exactly what happened.
I dont pray to God. It may work for some, but not for me. I was on my knees praying to God every night from the night I found out my mom was sick. He didnt answer my prayers.
My father's answer to my problems. Not joint counesling.. or therapy for me.. or understanding why I cant see his family.. Instead.. to dope me up on anti depressants.. a scenario Jeff said he didnt even agree with.
I'm seriously hoping I dont get lashed for this post. I didnt clog up the main forum with it.
I need to figure a way to be free of him.. ASAP. My aunt says if the business is done, I'm tied to him for life. That is a chilling thought. What I'd love.. is to make tons of $$$.. pay him every last penny he's laid out for me, and then treat him just as I wish, whether that means distance relationship.. or worse than that.
One final thing: Someone told me not to do any blog posts. I wanted to express this, and didnt want to do it in the main forum. I figured a blog post was the best way.
I've come down to the bottom line about my problem. It's not autism, or anything like that.
I have a situation in which I have no advocates, and my father has all the advocates. I'm trapped with him, due to circumstances. I dont have a wife, a gf, or the financial warewithal to survive by myself here yet. My mom is dead, and cant be my sounding board. Not only that, no matter what he does to me, there is no way out, and all those in his family will only keep egging him on.
Think about. my mad times on here. When my mom was sick, and my father sent her that horrible letter while she was undergoing treatment in NJ. I'm in NJ all alone with her, as shes so sick. I wanted to let him have it for that letter, but couldnt, thus the ill advised. "Demonic Letter" thread in summer 2011.
My mom dies.. I'm forced to meet my father's wife, on the day of my mom's funeral. 24 hours after the funeral, my mom and I are viciously attacked by a cousin I havent seen in 25 years. My father justifies it.
Then, I havent seen my uncle in 25 years. He contacts me after my mom died. I send him emails, call him, gifts for his 65th bday. At our first sit down in 25 years, he tells me how my father should have put my mom in the street, and how I should never work and be on disability. He never apologizes, and ignores me for new years, and my bdays.
My father's reaction to all this.. To rip my dead mother and grandmother.. ad nasueam, and to justify everyone who behaved anti socially to me, this year. To go on vacations with them, and spend no time with me.
My aunts.. cant help. I dont have the same cell phone plan as them. One aunt is off in her own world. The other aunt is consumed with watching her TV shows, many more than just "Jim Gardner".
Many years ago... my mom observed that I was much happier when my father was not in my life. I got over my extreme thinness.. my grades shot up, and social life got better.
I'm working on starting my new business. I send my father financial and product info he wants., His reply.. never to push forward to start the business, but to only want more info. I sent him many emails about the business, including today, and told him I want to get going already. His reply.. not "We're going to get going". Instead he said.. "Its a start". Hes spent weeks with his brother and cousins the last three-four months, and hours with me. I know without being around them, they are all telling him to behave badly to me. None of them, want me to succeed, so they can all say "Sheila fucked him up".
Trust me.. if I had a good business.. and was financially free of my father.. one would see a whole new Mitch.
HIS MO on my life..
Without EVER taking responsibility for anything he did to me, he mentioned all the people in my mom's family who quote "Fucked me up" because they were too "overprotective",. and harped on how my mom didnt want me to get my license when I was 16.. and how he had to push me to get it.
He has his world, his advocates.. All of whom are always on his side, and who he put his life together with, before ironing out his estrangement from me.
People who read this might think its bullshit.. but I swear on my mom's grave that this is it, and everyone here knows how much I adored my mom.
In fact, my mom agreed with my decision not to see his family all those years, and even told me. "They would have a license to be verbally abusive, and he would be verbally abusive to you, and in their behalf. " This is exactly what happened.
I dont pray to God. It may work for some, but not for me. I was on my knees praying to God every night from the night I found out my mom was sick. He didnt answer my prayers.
My father's answer to my problems. Not joint counesling.. or therapy for me.. or understanding why I cant see his family.. Instead.. to dope me up on anti depressants.. a scenario Jeff said he didnt even agree with.
I'm seriously hoping I dont get lashed for this post. I didnt clog up the main forum with it.
I need to figure a way to be free of him.. ASAP. My aunt says if the business is done, I'm tied to him for life. That is a chilling thought. What I'd love.. is to make tons of $$$.. pay him every last penny he's laid out for me, and then treat him just as I wish, whether that means distance relationship.. or worse than that.
One final thing: Someone told me not to do any blog posts. I wanted to express this, and didnt want to do it in the main forum. I figured a blog post was the best way.
