My dad just called to wish me luck on the meeting tomorrow. Simply put, he's been great. My two aunts were very supportive tonight as well. With as much as I complain about them, my family is rallying behind me at this time.
After that, I did something that I haven't done since before they found my mom's brain tumors.
I turned off the lights, got on my knees, and prayed.
I know it may sound hypocritical.. but.. I haven't been very into prayer since I spent every night praying during my mom's illness, she was supposedly "Cancer Free", and then God took my mom away from me anyway. I've often been heartbroken, devastated, and angry, since then. Perhaps someone in my shoes could understand, after the suffering I watched my mom endure, the suffering I endured with her, and having her pass away in spite of it all.
I know that God had reasons for taking her away, even if she did die at a younger than average age, and far sooner then either of us had hoped or prayed for. . It was her time to go, and, I, a mere mortal.. had no control. It doesn't mean I have to understand it, because I don't, and probably never will.
I know that God has given me blessings in the last two and a half years, even if they weren't what I planned. A father who has been patient, and willing to help his 40 odd year old son, both when I wasn't helping myself, and when I was.. Food on the table every day, a roof, having me pass the insurance exam, and a position with an insurance company, in spite of having no experience in the insurance industry.
I always pray for the good health of my family and friends.
Now, as I face the biggest meeting of my life tomorrow... after working so diligently to get this insurance license, and learn the insurance business.. do I not have the right to pray to secure the one big account that could change and make my career? My dad, a man who has earned every penny he has.. always talks about having "Earned the right". He certainly has in his career.. Do I not have the right to pray for success in my career?
My speech therapist told me that what happens tomorrow isn't really in my control.. as my supervisor will be giving the presentation. I wish him all the best.. for himself.. for me, and for the company.
So.,. for the first time.. actively.. since Feb 2012.. I said a prayer for myself, and my career tonight. Now.. comes tomorrow. I don't think anyone can imagine the joy and happiness I will feel. if we get this account, and God answers my prayers.
After that, I did something that I haven't done since before they found my mom's brain tumors.
I turned off the lights, got on my knees, and prayed.
I know it may sound hypocritical.. but.. I haven't been very into prayer since I spent every night praying during my mom's illness, she was supposedly "Cancer Free", and then God took my mom away from me anyway. I've often been heartbroken, devastated, and angry, since then. Perhaps someone in my shoes could understand, after the suffering I watched my mom endure, the suffering I endured with her, and having her pass away in spite of it all.
I know that God had reasons for taking her away, even if she did die at a younger than average age, and far sooner then either of us had hoped or prayed for. . It was her time to go, and, I, a mere mortal.. had no control. It doesn't mean I have to understand it, because I don't, and probably never will.
I know that God has given me blessings in the last two and a half years, even if they weren't what I planned. A father who has been patient, and willing to help his 40 odd year old son, both when I wasn't helping myself, and when I was.. Food on the table every day, a roof, having me pass the insurance exam, and a position with an insurance company, in spite of having no experience in the insurance industry.
I always pray for the good health of my family and friends.
Now, as I face the biggest meeting of my life tomorrow... after working so diligently to get this insurance license, and learn the insurance business.. do I not have the right to pray to secure the one big account that could change and make my career? My dad, a man who has earned every penny he has.. always talks about having "Earned the right". He certainly has in his career.. Do I not have the right to pray for success in my career?
My speech therapist told me that what happens tomorrow isn't really in my control.. as my supervisor will be giving the presentation. I wish him all the best.. for himself.. for me, and for the company.
So.,. for the first time.. actively.. since Feb 2012.. I said a prayer for myself, and my career tonight. Now.. comes tomorrow. I don't think anyone can imagine the joy and happiness I will feel. if we get this account, and God answers my prayers.
