For those of you who do not know me, PianistBill, or the history between us - this is a blog I feel I desperately need to write. I first ran into Bill mid November and we started chatting. I treated him the same way I do with every person I begin chatting to - I was very open and friendly. We started talking to get to know each other, but right off the bat there was friction and tension. He kept asking questions such as: “What do you want from me?”, “What do you want to get out of this?” I replied to him, “I don’t know. I just enjoy making friends and talking tickling with people.” I kept telling him just to relax. That he needs to be more laid back – just have fun talking to people. But Bill seemed so very desperate to do and say the right things that he started becoming obsessive about it.
Early in our chats, he approached me once in the chat room and sent me a pm that said something along the lines of “Look. I’m in your life whether you like it or not.” I can’t remember what he said next, but then finished it off with, “Do you understand me?” As though he was speaking down to me or demanding that I act a certain way to him.
Here I am fresh off a separation from a very controlling husband and now he is treating me in the same way. I stood up to him and told him that we are not in a relationship and that he has no right to speak to me in that way. Bill immediately apologized and we tried time and again to chat with each other, but the way he kept acting created such friction between us.
I tried several times to be friendly with him. I gave him my email address as another way to keep in touch and he knew my Skype name from TMF.
Bill began emailing me, sharing every personal detail about him. I sympathized with him, tried to be that friendly ear and even offer advice if I could. I even shared some personal things with him about myself. However, if I didn’t respond to his emails in the same day, or the next day, and even sometimes within the hour, he would begin with the rapid-fire emails. “Where are you? Did I offend you? Why aren’t you responding? Are you busy tickling someone? Why won’t you write back to me?” And so on. Actually, reading back over my emails, I found that there were a few where I specifically told him I would be out all day and that I would get back to him as soon as I could. I do have a life – I am a mother of two young ones, so I am not always on my computer, believe it or not. Bill would not accept that and continued to pester me with his questions about why I wasn’t returning his emails.
We had even planned on doing a video Skype one day. But that same day, it turned out that I was having a bad day. I was in a rather depressed mood and didn’t want to talk to anybody. I’ve been given the name “Giggles” by a close friend of mine now because of the fact that I am almost always happy and giggly. Believe it or not, I too suffer from a few bad days from time to time. 😉 Bill wouldn’t have any of that though. He attempted to call me nearly 20 times on Skype when I wasn’t even online and assumed that I was just being mean and hanging up on him. He sent me 3 videos of himself, crying because of how hurt he was that I didn’t Skype with him that day. (I had emailed him earlier that I couldn’t make it because I wasn’t feeling well.)
Bill has sent me 144 emails in 5 weeks. I have blocked him on Skype and TMF, although the chat room “ignore” feature works a bit backwards in that if I ignore him, I can’t see his posts, but he can still see mine and see when I am in the room.
There just came a point in our twisted friendship that he was clearly becoming way too clingy, whiny and obsessive – words I have used with Bill now countless times! But he never takes a hint. I have been nice to him and even forceful with him and I have even called him out a few times publicly in the chat room. This guy has become my “stalker” – yes, that is the word I am using and he will not take “no” for an answer.
I have asked and told him several times now to please go away and to leave me alone. I just don’t need that drama in my life. I don’t owe him anything – we have no relationship – I don’t see why he needs to be friends with me when he claims that he has over 50 now on TMF. I don’t want unnecessary drama in my life. I began ignoring any pm’s from him in the chat room, and began not responding to his emails at all. But Bill kept at it. I even told Bill one time that we are just two different people. If he wants to chat in the room as well, then fine. But just please leave me alone. Have fun chatting with other people – I won’t bother him! Yet Bill is the one who can’t seem to quit.
Here are pieces of his most recent email. I feel I need to post this so you can see how he behaves and I will respond to some of the things he wrote to me in his email.
Email:
“....I still think about tickling you. I want to find out how ticklish you really are. I want to get you real good in all those right places, especially your neck, your sides, and your bare feet. Look I know it never will happen. And I'm scared if I go to NEST we are definitely going to run into each other. Yeah that's gonna be an awkward moment. I don't know If you'll just ignore me or hide behind Kevin and have him do the dirty work? I just don't know anymore.”
Please! Any NEST moderators reading this: I want to go to NEST in 2017. However, I do NOT want Bill going to NEST – please don’t allow him to. That may sound harsh, but he is indeed harassing me to the point of stalking me and I am somewhat afraid of what he might do to me if we are at this same event. I don’t want any trouble. I’m just a simple girl looking to make friends with other wonderful people who share in our fetish. I’ve chatted with hundreds of other people here at TMF and all of them wonderful and friendly. Bill has been the only one to cause me stress.
“...I wanted to hide and change my profile and profession to try and start over but I didn't feel comfortable not being who I really am. This is about the time I got the threatening letter from Jeff after you reported me. So I asked Jeff to please delete all 3 accounts and let me start from scratch and try to mend the wounds I've caused. Jeff informed me he cannot delete my accounts but the best he can do is change my screen name and so that's how I became PianistBill. Little good it did. Everything is still fucked up. I do not use the other 2 accounts.”
I’ve seen Bill trying to start over again on TMF under different names. Good! I’m happy for you, Bill. But the fact of the matter is, he still is who he is and I don’t think he can change that.
“Yes I have made friends. I have 52 friends and you know what they don't judge me. Some of them are well aware of my situation with you and know how much I'm hurting.”
You know what, Bill? If you have that many friends on TMF – the leave me alone!! Go! Have fun and don’t bother me! I told Bill before that he doesn’t need me then with all his friends. He told me that really hurt him!
“I'm tired of Kevin announcing to the world my personal information and I am telling you now if he doesn't stop doing that I will report it. I have the screen shots saved from all he has said I'm just trying to not say anything and cause more problems.”
Bill, I have screenshots from you too. Kevin and I have both called you out publicly in the chat because you don’t listen. You won’t shut up. You refuse to leave me alone when I have asked nicely, and told you several times to do so.
“We have got to be two mature adults here. We are both going to share the chat room and I will be honest, I am VERY uncomfortable when you and Kevin are on. I have never felt so unwanted. And everyone there knows our business because you and Kevin announce it. Yeah, very mature Erika. I now am trying to fix the hate everyone has against me and yes I've been threatened by others because of this. That never would have happened if you didn't write publicly two weeks ago and just kept it between us...We need to come to a truce so that we can coexist in the room and you have to allow me to make an attempt to heal the wounds that were made.
NO! Bill, I DID leave you alone! I told you if you want to chat in the room – it’s fine, but just leave me alone! And after that I never messaged Bill in the chat room – HE was the one who kept continually coming after me. He is creating this drama and hatred for himself!
“I don't want trouble Erika. I want to be able to get up and dust myself off and move on but now it's nearly impossible. Not for lack of trying, I've tried but many of the regulars in the chat room are not letting go. Please I'm asking you and Kevin to stop airing our dirty laundry in public. I'm not going to keep bothering you because it's so useless at this point. I'm beating a dead horse...It's gonna stop. Can we try to be civil in the chat room and at least let me feel welcomed and not a burden to everyone?”
Are you kidding me? I was the one to tell him that I don’t want any trouble. He accuses me of airing dirty laundry. I will tell you exactly why he wants me to keep this between him and I. Because then no one else will know of the way he is continually stalking me. He can then “lord” himself over me and try to control me without anyone else knowing what he’s doing – that’s why! He wants to be civil in the chat room. He’s acting as though it’s me causing trouble for him in there when it’s him continually pm’ing me there. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to ignore him – but he doesn’t stop.
“I'm done now. Took me 45 minutes to write all this. I hope to hear from you. You know where I am you have my email address. You are welcome to write whenever you want...I do hope we can have a truce. Take care Erika, and write if you want.”
Really, Bill?! Write if I want? What I want I’ve been telling him for weeks now. Leave me alone! Here’s what it all comes down to, folks. I’m tired of his crap. Those of you who know me on TMF know that I am a gentle, sweet girl. I don’t cause trouble, I am not rude. I am almost always upbeat and I am certainly friendly to you all. I’ve never had to deal with someone like Bill ever before.
Bill – I hope you are reading this. I am so done with you. I will now block you from my email as well. That was the last thing I had to block you from because I was hoping you indeed would change and settle down and be able to email me on a more decent level. But you are a very mentally disturbed person and I am sorry for you. But if I so much as get one more message from you – somehow as I am blocking you - then I will publicly post your full name, home phone number, cell number and address on TMF for everyone to see. I’m sorry you are getting threats as it is already, but you have brought this all on yourself. I’ve been told I’m too nice. I’ve tried to deal with this on my own. Other people have tried to tell you to calm down as well. You won’t listen to anyone or anything. I’m sorry for that. I hope this nails it home for you.
~ Shygirl
Early in our chats, he approached me once in the chat room and sent me a pm that said something along the lines of “Look. I’m in your life whether you like it or not.” I can’t remember what he said next, but then finished it off with, “Do you understand me?” As though he was speaking down to me or demanding that I act a certain way to him.
Here I am fresh off a separation from a very controlling husband and now he is treating me in the same way. I stood up to him and told him that we are not in a relationship and that he has no right to speak to me in that way. Bill immediately apologized and we tried time and again to chat with each other, but the way he kept acting created such friction between us.
I tried several times to be friendly with him. I gave him my email address as another way to keep in touch and he knew my Skype name from TMF.
Bill began emailing me, sharing every personal detail about him. I sympathized with him, tried to be that friendly ear and even offer advice if I could. I even shared some personal things with him about myself. However, if I didn’t respond to his emails in the same day, or the next day, and even sometimes within the hour, he would begin with the rapid-fire emails. “Where are you? Did I offend you? Why aren’t you responding? Are you busy tickling someone? Why won’t you write back to me?” And so on. Actually, reading back over my emails, I found that there were a few where I specifically told him I would be out all day and that I would get back to him as soon as I could. I do have a life – I am a mother of two young ones, so I am not always on my computer, believe it or not. Bill would not accept that and continued to pester me with his questions about why I wasn’t returning his emails.
We had even planned on doing a video Skype one day. But that same day, it turned out that I was having a bad day. I was in a rather depressed mood and didn’t want to talk to anybody. I’ve been given the name “Giggles” by a close friend of mine now because of the fact that I am almost always happy and giggly. Believe it or not, I too suffer from a few bad days from time to time. 😉 Bill wouldn’t have any of that though. He attempted to call me nearly 20 times on Skype when I wasn’t even online and assumed that I was just being mean and hanging up on him. He sent me 3 videos of himself, crying because of how hurt he was that I didn’t Skype with him that day. (I had emailed him earlier that I couldn’t make it because I wasn’t feeling well.)
Bill has sent me 144 emails in 5 weeks. I have blocked him on Skype and TMF, although the chat room “ignore” feature works a bit backwards in that if I ignore him, I can’t see his posts, but he can still see mine and see when I am in the room.
There just came a point in our twisted friendship that he was clearly becoming way too clingy, whiny and obsessive – words I have used with Bill now countless times! But he never takes a hint. I have been nice to him and even forceful with him and I have even called him out a few times publicly in the chat room. This guy has become my “stalker” – yes, that is the word I am using and he will not take “no” for an answer.
I have asked and told him several times now to please go away and to leave me alone. I just don’t need that drama in my life. I don’t owe him anything – we have no relationship – I don’t see why he needs to be friends with me when he claims that he has over 50 now on TMF. I don’t want unnecessary drama in my life. I began ignoring any pm’s from him in the chat room, and began not responding to his emails at all. But Bill kept at it. I even told Bill one time that we are just two different people. If he wants to chat in the room as well, then fine. But just please leave me alone. Have fun chatting with other people – I won’t bother him! Yet Bill is the one who can’t seem to quit.
Here are pieces of his most recent email. I feel I need to post this so you can see how he behaves and I will respond to some of the things he wrote to me in his email.
Email:
“....I still think about tickling you. I want to find out how ticklish you really are. I want to get you real good in all those right places, especially your neck, your sides, and your bare feet. Look I know it never will happen. And I'm scared if I go to NEST we are definitely going to run into each other. Yeah that's gonna be an awkward moment. I don't know If you'll just ignore me or hide behind Kevin and have him do the dirty work? I just don't know anymore.”
Please! Any NEST moderators reading this: I want to go to NEST in 2017. However, I do NOT want Bill going to NEST – please don’t allow him to. That may sound harsh, but he is indeed harassing me to the point of stalking me and I am somewhat afraid of what he might do to me if we are at this same event. I don’t want any trouble. I’m just a simple girl looking to make friends with other wonderful people who share in our fetish. I’ve chatted with hundreds of other people here at TMF and all of them wonderful and friendly. Bill has been the only one to cause me stress.
“...I wanted to hide and change my profile and profession to try and start over but I didn't feel comfortable not being who I really am. This is about the time I got the threatening letter from Jeff after you reported me. So I asked Jeff to please delete all 3 accounts and let me start from scratch and try to mend the wounds I've caused. Jeff informed me he cannot delete my accounts but the best he can do is change my screen name and so that's how I became PianistBill. Little good it did. Everything is still fucked up. I do not use the other 2 accounts.”
I’ve seen Bill trying to start over again on TMF under different names. Good! I’m happy for you, Bill. But the fact of the matter is, he still is who he is and I don’t think he can change that.
“Yes I have made friends. I have 52 friends and you know what they don't judge me. Some of them are well aware of my situation with you and know how much I'm hurting.”
You know what, Bill? If you have that many friends on TMF – the leave me alone!! Go! Have fun and don’t bother me! I told Bill before that he doesn’t need me then with all his friends. He told me that really hurt him!
“I'm tired of Kevin announcing to the world my personal information and I am telling you now if he doesn't stop doing that I will report it. I have the screen shots saved from all he has said I'm just trying to not say anything and cause more problems.”
Bill, I have screenshots from you too. Kevin and I have both called you out publicly in the chat because you don’t listen. You won’t shut up. You refuse to leave me alone when I have asked nicely, and told you several times to do so.
“We have got to be two mature adults here. We are both going to share the chat room and I will be honest, I am VERY uncomfortable when you and Kevin are on. I have never felt so unwanted. And everyone there knows our business because you and Kevin announce it. Yeah, very mature Erika. I now am trying to fix the hate everyone has against me and yes I've been threatened by others because of this. That never would have happened if you didn't write publicly two weeks ago and just kept it between us...We need to come to a truce so that we can coexist in the room and you have to allow me to make an attempt to heal the wounds that were made.
NO! Bill, I DID leave you alone! I told you if you want to chat in the room – it’s fine, but just leave me alone! And after that I never messaged Bill in the chat room – HE was the one who kept continually coming after me. He is creating this drama and hatred for himself!
“I don't want trouble Erika. I want to be able to get up and dust myself off and move on but now it's nearly impossible. Not for lack of trying, I've tried but many of the regulars in the chat room are not letting go. Please I'm asking you and Kevin to stop airing our dirty laundry in public. I'm not going to keep bothering you because it's so useless at this point. I'm beating a dead horse...It's gonna stop. Can we try to be civil in the chat room and at least let me feel welcomed and not a burden to everyone?”
Are you kidding me? I was the one to tell him that I don’t want any trouble. He accuses me of airing dirty laundry. I will tell you exactly why he wants me to keep this between him and I. Because then no one else will know of the way he is continually stalking me. He can then “lord” himself over me and try to control me without anyone else knowing what he’s doing – that’s why! He wants to be civil in the chat room. He’s acting as though it’s me causing trouble for him in there when it’s him continually pm’ing me there. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to ignore him – but he doesn’t stop.
“I'm done now. Took me 45 minutes to write all this. I hope to hear from you. You know where I am you have my email address. You are welcome to write whenever you want...I do hope we can have a truce. Take care Erika, and write if you want.”
Really, Bill?! Write if I want? What I want I’ve been telling him for weeks now. Leave me alone! Here’s what it all comes down to, folks. I’m tired of his crap. Those of you who know me on TMF know that I am a gentle, sweet girl. I don’t cause trouble, I am not rude. I am almost always upbeat and I am certainly friendly to you all. I’ve never had to deal with someone like Bill ever before.
Bill – I hope you are reading this. I am so done with you. I will now block you from my email as well. That was the last thing I had to block you from because I was hoping you indeed would change and settle down and be able to email me on a more decent level. But you are a very mentally disturbed person and I am sorry for you. But if I so much as get one more message from you – somehow as I am blocking you - then I will publicly post your full name, home phone number, cell number and address on TMF for everyone to see. I’m sorry you are getting threats as it is already, but you have brought this all on yourself. I’ve been told I’m too nice. I’ve tried to deal with this on my own. Other people have tried to tell you to calm down as well. You won’t listen to anyone or anything. I’m sorry for that. I hope this nails it home for you.
~ Shygirl
