Tomorrow is the two year anniversary of the worst day of my life..
Of course.. as most Jewish people do on the anniversary of loved one's deaths, and as I did last year,., I will be putting the electric memory lamp up for my mom from tonight at sunset.. I keep it in until midnight on the 4th into the 5th, even though "Law" says from sunset to sunset, but that's just me..
I can't believe that she;'s gone two years. As most know.. I've undergone incredible changes.. for the better.. between April 4,, 2013, and now. Last year, I wasn't doing much of anything with my life. Now.. I'm a bona fide insurance agent.. working in one of the largest insurance companies in the world.
I found out some important information this week. One is that.. apparently.. I cant be fired.. except if I do something illegal.. or against my oath as an insurance agent. Keith explained to me that he's "My supervisor, and not my "boss". I get frustrated with some of the parameters placed upon me at the office, such as Keith and Jay's seeming insistence of "No Resturaunts". I'm going to take a shot at one or two, and then leave it alone.,
I'm going to place this here, and not in the main forum, and will now confess,,. that.. at both of their okays, I had a meeting with Keith and my dad on Tuesday at the office, that we all agreed went very well. My dad says he has potential clients for me, and wanted to know the parameters of such,. We are working out the details. This was okayed by both Keith and Jay before said meeting.. so I don't feel like it was "Take Daddy to work day". I';ve approached certain sources on my own, that haven't worked out. Also, for the record.. my aunt the artist thought I was absolutely wrong to both get clients from my father..or take him to meet Keith. Both Keith and my dad brushed this off. I'm not going to listen to her either. She doesn't listen to what I say.. If she did.. she wouldn't be repeatedly attacking my mom.. or have refused to do the business that could have mutually benefited both her and I.
Keith and my dad also want me to lighten up from taking everything that happens with work.. or at the office.. so seriously. I know they have a point.
Right now.. my dad seems most upset with my lack of improving myself besides work. He said he knows I work hard at my career, but also wants me to improve myself by exercising. I've joined a gym, but haven't gone yet. I'm going to try and go over there today, because tomorrow I want to go into Manhattan, and walk around trying to approach more potential clients.
I'm a completely different person now then I was on April 4, 2012, or April 4, 2013. My life has dramatically changed.. just since I got the offer from Aflac,. It''s probably the best thing that has happened to me, since graduating from college.
I also keep thinking about the whole "April 4th thing". Mom is gone on April 4th, and every other day.. so I don't know why April 4th seems to hurt more then the other 364 or 365 days of the year. I think,.,. perhaps.. it's the whole "Memory of everything that happened that morning" playing over in my mind.
My aunt the artist told me last night that she;s been hearing things on TV about there being a definite afterlife. I haven't felt my mom's spirit or presence at all. All I can say is.. if there is an afterlife.. I hope my mom is blissfully happy with all of our departed relatives. I miss her every day, and will for the rest of my life.
My friend Adam kindly offered to meet me tomorrow.. so I don't have to be alone., I accepted his offer, and will just approach clients while I';m with him. Very often I can go inside the potential store or office, and Adam can wait outside texting.
I will get through it, I know. My mom;s footstone on her grave will be up soon, at which point I plan to finally make a cemetery visit after 2 plus years.
I know that my life is much better, and different then two years ago, and even a year ago. I;ve made major progress. In spite of this.,. I know I still have more to do.. and I still hurt like hell about my mom. I know it will be with me for the rest of my life.
Of course.. as most Jewish people do on the anniversary of loved one's deaths, and as I did last year,., I will be putting the electric memory lamp up for my mom from tonight at sunset.. I keep it in until midnight on the 4th into the 5th, even though "Law" says from sunset to sunset, but that's just me..
I can't believe that she;'s gone two years. As most know.. I've undergone incredible changes.. for the better.. between April 4,, 2013, and now. Last year, I wasn't doing much of anything with my life. Now.. I'm a bona fide insurance agent.. working in one of the largest insurance companies in the world.
I found out some important information this week. One is that.. apparently.. I cant be fired.. except if I do something illegal.. or against my oath as an insurance agent. Keith explained to me that he's "My supervisor, and not my "boss". I get frustrated with some of the parameters placed upon me at the office, such as Keith and Jay's seeming insistence of "No Resturaunts". I'm going to take a shot at one or two, and then leave it alone.,
I'm going to place this here, and not in the main forum, and will now confess,,. that.. at both of their okays, I had a meeting with Keith and my dad on Tuesday at the office, that we all agreed went very well. My dad says he has potential clients for me, and wanted to know the parameters of such,. We are working out the details. This was okayed by both Keith and Jay before said meeting.. so I don't feel like it was "Take Daddy to work day". I';ve approached certain sources on my own, that haven't worked out. Also, for the record.. my aunt the artist thought I was absolutely wrong to both get clients from my father..or take him to meet Keith. Both Keith and my dad brushed this off. I'm not going to listen to her either. She doesn't listen to what I say.. If she did.. she wouldn't be repeatedly attacking my mom.. or have refused to do the business that could have mutually benefited both her and I.
Keith and my dad also want me to lighten up from taking everything that happens with work.. or at the office.. so seriously. I know they have a point.
Right now.. my dad seems most upset with my lack of improving myself besides work. He said he knows I work hard at my career, but also wants me to improve myself by exercising. I've joined a gym, but haven't gone yet. I'm going to try and go over there today, because tomorrow I want to go into Manhattan, and walk around trying to approach more potential clients.
I'm a completely different person now then I was on April 4, 2012, or April 4, 2013. My life has dramatically changed.. just since I got the offer from Aflac,. It''s probably the best thing that has happened to me, since graduating from college.
I also keep thinking about the whole "April 4th thing". Mom is gone on April 4th, and every other day.. so I don't know why April 4th seems to hurt more then the other 364 or 365 days of the year. I think,.,. perhaps.. it's the whole "Memory of everything that happened that morning" playing over in my mind.
My aunt the artist told me last night that she;s been hearing things on TV about there being a definite afterlife. I haven't felt my mom's spirit or presence at all. All I can say is.. if there is an afterlife.. I hope my mom is blissfully happy with all of our departed relatives. I miss her every day, and will for the rest of my life.
My friend Adam kindly offered to meet me tomorrow.. so I don't have to be alone., I accepted his offer, and will just approach clients while I';m with him. Very often I can go inside the potential store or office, and Adam can wait outside texting.
I will get through it, I know. My mom;s footstone on her grave will be up soon, at which point I plan to finally make a cemetery visit after 2 plus years.
I know that my life is much better, and different then two years ago, and even a year ago. I;ve made major progress. In spite of this.,. I know I still have more to do.. and I still hurt like hell about my mom. I know it will be with me for the rest of my life.
