Since I've moved to NY, I've established a much closer relationship with my aunt the artist.
My aunt knows how heartbroken I still remain over my mom's death. The other day, however, she said to me "Mitch, you really should try to find a partner, mom would want you to be happy"
I know this. If it was up to my mom, I would have found someone right after she died, and not been mourning as I have. My move complicated this some.
In NY, I see one beautiful girl after the next. Thoughts cross my mind.
I dont have the prpblem of having the unusual circumstance of being in my 40s, and living with mom anymore. I can take a girl out, invite a girl back to my apt, have privacy here, and a girl could stay over here with me if she wanted to.. its just....
While it would be nice to love and be loved, I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready just yet. I know that relationships can be complex, and I of course have the added situation of being into the fetish lifestyle. If I met a kind girl who was truly afraid of heights, but had all the other qualities, I could probably live without her standing barefoot on a ladder for me. The other fetishes, though, of feet and tickling, I cant live without. My aunt knows I have these interests, because of when I used to tickle her feet when I was.. 12. Her feeling is that I just have to try and incorporate it into other sex play if I find a vanilla.
Then theres the issue of criticism. While I'm coming back to myself, I'm still not there just yet. While it would be nice to hear. "I love you", I'm also not sure I'm ready to fight, and hear "You suck" or.. "You're an asshole".
Maybe I just need more time. My dad just sold his company yesterday, and I'm hopefully about to start a new business, that I cant post the details of, as it involves a new concept/product. Maybe once that happens, I would be ready, but for right now, my friends, both real life and online, family, Jim Gardner online every night, and other interests seem to be enough.
Mitch
My aunt knows how heartbroken I still remain over my mom's death. The other day, however, she said to me "Mitch, you really should try to find a partner, mom would want you to be happy"
I know this. If it was up to my mom, I would have found someone right after she died, and not been mourning as I have. My move complicated this some.
In NY, I see one beautiful girl after the next. Thoughts cross my mind.
I dont have the prpblem of having the unusual circumstance of being in my 40s, and living with mom anymore. I can take a girl out, invite a girl back to my apt, have privacy here, and a girl could stay over here with me if she wanted to.. its just....
While it would be nice to love and be loved, I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready just yet. I know that relationships can be complex, and I of course have the added situation of being into the fetish lifestyle. If I met a kind girl who was truly afraid of heights, but had all the other qualities, I could probably live without her standing barefoot on a ladder for me. The other fetishes, though, of feet and tickling, I cant live without. My aunt knows I have these interests, because of when I used to tickle her feet when I was.. 12. Her feeling is that I just have to try and incorporate it into other sex play if I find a vanilla.
Then theres the issue of criticism. While I'm coming back to myself, I'm still not there just yet. While it would be nice to hear. "I love you", I'm also not sure I'm ready to fight, and hear "You suck" or.. "You're an asshole".
Maybe I just need more time. My dad just sold his company yesterday, and I'm hopefully about to start a new business, that I cant post the details of, as it involves a new concept/product. Maybe once that happens, I would be ready, but for right now, my friends, both real life and online, family, Jim Gardner online every night, and other interests seem to be enough.
Mitch
