Going to school when I was growing up was hell. I had always been overweight and in school, kids teased me for it. I heard it all. When I would walk by the bullies pretended there was a earthquake. The names and taunting. For an already shy girl, it caused me to retreat within my shell.
I became afraid of trying to make friends because I was afraid they would reject me. Kids were making fun of me because of my weight. If those bullies didn't like me because of that, then who would want a fat friend?
Luckily, I had some really amazing friends growing up. They didn't see my weight as a problem. They liked me just the way I was. As we got older, I still got teased and though I had these amazing friends, I was still hiding behind my shell. I was using the one thing that kids made fun of me for to hide behind, that no one wants to be friends with me because I'm fat.
The cruel teasing had damaged my self-esteem. Even after I graduated it still lingered. Like a little demon on my shoulder, reminding me that no one will like me because of my weight.
Because of these insecurities, I held back even on here. Doubts and fears plagued me. Even though on the internet no one judges you based on your appearance, but rather your words and personality. It got easier talking to people but I still held back from approaching people myself. Then I'd get that occasional blow when talking to someone whom you're getting along with wonderfully but vanishes once you exchange pics.
It's taken me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin. And with me working on coming out of my shell, it's helped with my confidence. Though I still have those lingering thoughts in my head from that little demon, casting doubts - Though we're getting along great now but will they vanish too once they see me?
So the point of this blog is me doing something I always hesitate doing. Many people here freely post pics of themselves but for me that's even harder to do because of years of being teased made me feel ugly, fearing rejection based on my looks.
Yet this is another step for me to take, to help myself grow and be more comfortable with myself. So I'll end this with a pic of myself with hopes of smothering that little bastard demon.
So... this... is... me:
I became afraid of trying to make friends because I was afraid they would reject me. Kids were making fun of me because of my weight. If those bullies didn't like me because of that, then who would want a fat friend?
Luckily, I had some really amazing friends growing up. They didn't see my weight as a problem. They liked me just the way I was. As we got older, I still got teased and though I had these amazing friends, I was still hiding behind my shell. I was using the one thing that kids made fun of me for to hide behind, that no one wants to be friends with me because I'm fat.
The cruel teasing had damaged my self-esteem. Even after I graduated it still lingered. Like a little demon on my shoulder, reminding me that no one will like me because of my weight.
Because of these insecurities, I held back even on here. Doubts and fears plagued me. Even though on the internet no one judges you based on your appearance, but rather your words and personality. It got easier talking to people but I still held back from approaching people myself. Then I'd get that occasional blow when talking to someone whom you're getting along with wonderfully but vanishes once you exchange pics.
It's taken me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin. And with me working on coming out of my shell, it's helped with my confidence. Though I still have those lingering thoughts in my head from that little demon, casting doubts - Though we're getting along great now but will they vanish too once they see me?
So the point of this blog is me doing something I always hesitate doing. Many people here freely post pics of themselves but for me that's even harder to do because of years of being teased made me feel ugly, fearing rejection based on my looks.
Yet this is another step for me to take, to help myself grow and be more comfortable with myself. So I'll end this with a pic of myself with hopes of smothering that little bastard demon.
So... this... is... me:
I just booked my flight...