Entry best posted in the blog..
As I think about it:
My "family", except for calling in, does what's good for them.
My father knows how vicious and ruthless his cousins have been to me, and the frame of mind I'm in from the near misses with these tests. He didn't think to himself.. "Gee, my family has really been ruthless to Mitch, and Mitch is feeling so beaten up now from not passing the exam. I'm going to skip my cousins one holiday, and just spend it with my wife, her kids, and Mitch. It MUST be with the cousins who have been ruthless..
Then, my aunt,.,. talking about how "my cousin" her son, has "no family". My mom and I always remembered him for his occasions, and lived in PA for 13 years. We didn't see him much, but we were always kind when we did .
As a result.. I will be spending Thanksgiving alone, and I will remember it.
Had this been my mom, and she knew how hard I worked on this exam,.,.,there is no way she would have left me alone for a holiday, to go spend it with people who have been so vicious to me.
When we were talking, and my father asked me not to have my mom contact him about her alimony.. which annoyed him, I relayed this information to her, and she stopped doing it.
I know that nothing else but my passing the exam really matters. I also know that the person who really loved me, and considered my feelings, my mom, is gone. The rest of these people, will do just what is good for them.
As I think about it:
My "family", except for calling in, does what's good for them.
My father knows how vicious and ruthless his cousins have been to me, and the frame of mind I'm in from the near misses with these tests. He didn't think to himself.. "Gee, my family has really been ruthless to Mitch, and Mitch is feeling so beaten up now from not passing the exam. I'm going to skip my cousins one holiday, and just spend it with my wife, her kids, and Mitch. It MUST be with the cousins who have been ruthless..
Then, my aunt,.,. talking about how "my cousin" her son, has "no family". My mom and I always remembered him for his occasions, and lived in PA for 13 years. We didn't see him much, but we were always kind when we did .
As a result.. I will be spending Thanksgiving alone, and I will remember it.
Had this been my mom, and she knew how hard I worked on this exam,.,.,there is no way she would have left me alone for a holiday, to go spend it with people who have been so vicious to me.
When we were talking, and my father asked me not to have my mom contact him about her alimony.. which annoyed him, I relayed this information to her, and she stopped doing it.
I know that nothing else but my passing the exam really matters. I also know that the person who really loved me, and considered my feelings, my mom, is gone. The rest of these people, will do just what is good for them.
