Bottoms Up

Today, I ventured into previously uncharted territory. I was "Domme for a day." Now, I'm not a switch, so please don't get the wrong idea when I tell you how this came to be and what transpired a few hours ago. I'm happy in my role as a sub. I've been content to be with my Dom for going on 6 years now. So how did this role reversal even come about? First, if you're not interested in D/s and the psychological aspects of it, I suggest you not read further. This isn't a blog about tk - you can get that elsewhere. I usually consider sessions to be personal and private. But I've also learned that putting things down in writing helps me put things in perspective and allows me to sort out my feelings and thoughts. And if it helps someone else who's thinking of embarking on this path, then I'm pleased to be able to share what I deem appropriate.

A few months ago, I was juggling a lot at work. I had new employees and old who were not working well together as the team I wanted. I was still down a technician and a doctor. At home, my mother was recovering from back surgery and needed more care than I could find time for while working full time. I was more than a little frustrated to say the least. My Dom and I were chatting and he picked up that "I need to hit something" kind of vibe. He suggested that I might in fact need to "dom" something as a way to release some of my tension. I thought he must be joking. He's a serious Dom. Strong but fair. Not overbearing. And he has never been even remotely a switch type. I was awestruck... but intrigued.

We kept chatting about it. I found myself wondering if I could really step into the role of Domme. I had a previous experience with a switch who wanted much more than I could provide for him. And it left me really uneasy about shaking things up. It helped me to identify that I'm a submissive sexually and it's one of the reasons I set about checking out a possible D/s relationship through alt.com. I kept pondering things, and the more I thought, the more I really wanted to try. I found myself thinking about the whole scene in my head - what I would wear, what he would call me, what aspects of play I would focus on. I fantasized about it, I'll be frank. I just wasn't sure if I had the wherewithal to carry out my grand plans. Mentally, I'm strong and confident. But this was so foreign to me. I'm quiet in my submissive role. Could I actually verbalize as a Domme and command my sub/Dom to do whatever I wanted? I so wanted to find out!

And so, this afternoon, we had our session. I had my first chance to administer OTK. I made him lose count 🙂 I got under his skin, mentally. And while I didn't really mix in tk, I made it more of a sensual experience - one we could both appreciate. But the details aren't what this is about. The end result was he enjoyed himself as did I. And I found my control factor - a blindfold works wonders 🙂 Not only that, but I found my "voice". And it was mine - subtle, not a phony, trumped up type. Would I do it again? I think I would if the situation arose...or he asked me nicely 🙂 But I'm much more comfortable slipping into my familiar sub role. The beauty of this journey is that the destination is yet to be determined. It's about self-exploration at our own pace - mutually satisfying and enjoyable. And like a smorgasbord, I can't wait to see what's next on the menu.